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THEWRONGBOX1THEWRONGBOXROBERTLOUISSTEVENSON&LLOYDOSBOURNETHEWRONGBOX2PREFACE'Nothinglikealittlejudiciouslevity,'saysMichaelFinsburyinthetext:norcananybetterexcusebefoundforthevolumeinthereader'shand.Theauthorscanbutaddthatoneofthemisoldenoughtobeashamedofhimself,andtheotheryoungenoughtolearnbetter.R.L.S.L.O.THEWRONGBOX3CHAPTERI.InWhichMorrisSuspectsInWhichMorrisSuspectsInWhichMorrisSuspectsInWhichMorrisSuspectsHowverylittledoestheamateur,dwellingathomeatease,comprehendthelaboursandperilsoftheauthor,and,whenhesmilinglyskimsthesurfaceofaworkoffiction,howlittledoesheconsiderthehoursoftoil,consultationofauthorities,researchesintheBodleian,correspondencewithlearnedandillegibleGermans--inoneword,thevastscaffoldingthatwasfirstbuiltupandthenknockeddown,towhileawayanhourforhiminarailwaytrain!ThusImightbeginthistalewithabiographyofTonti--birthplace,parentage,geniusprobablyinheritedfromhismother,remarkableinstanceofprecocity,etc--andacompletetreatiseonthesystemtowhichhebequeathedhisname.Thematerialisallbesidemeinapigeon-hole,butIscorntoappearvainglorious.Tontiisdead,andIneversawanyonewhoevenpretendedtoregrethim;and,asforthetontinesystem,awordwillsufficeforallthepurposesofthisunvarnishednarrative.Anumberofsprightlyyouths(themorethemerrier)putupacertainsumofmoney,whichisthenfundedinapoolundertrustees;comingonforacenturylater,theproceedsareflutteredforamomentinthefaceofthelastsurvivor,whoisprobablydeaf,sothathecannotevenhearofhissuccess--andwhoiscertainlydying,sothathemightjustaswellhavelost.Thepeculiarpoetryandevenhumouroftheschemeisnowapparent,sinceitisonebywhichnobodyconcernedcanpossiblyprofit;butitsfine,sportsmanlikecharacterendearedittoourgrandparents.WhenJosephFinsburyandhisbrotherMastermanwerelittleladsinwhite-frilledtrousers,theirfather--awell-to-domerchantinCheapside--causedthemtojoinasmallbutrichtontineofseven-and-thirtylives.Athousandpoundswastheentrancefee;andJosephFinsburycanremembertothisdaythevisittothelawyer's,wherethemembersofthetontine--allchildrenlikehimself--wereassembledtogether,andsatinturninthebigofficechair,andsignedtheirnameswiththeassistanceofakindoldgentlemaninspectaclesandWellingtonboots.HeremembersplayingwithTHEWRONGBOX4thechildrenafterwardsonthelawnatthebackofthelawyer'shouse,andabattle-royalthathehadwithabrothertontinerwhohadkickedhisshins.Thesoundofwarcalledforththelawyerfromwherehewasdispensingcakeandwinetotheassembledparentsintheoffice,andthecombatantswereseparated,andJoseph'sspirit(forhewasthesmallerofthetwo)commendedbythegentlemanintheWellingtonboots,whovowedhehadbeenjustsuchanotheratthesameage.JosephwonderedtohimselfifhehadwornatthattimelittleWellingtonsandalittlebaldhead,andwhen,inbedatnight,hegrewtiredoftellinghimselfstoriesofsea-fights,heusedtodresshimselfupastheoldgentleman,andentertainotherlittleboysandgirlswithcakeandwine.Intheyear1840thethirty-sevenwereallalive;in1850theirnumberhaddecreasedbysix;in1856and1857businesswasmorelively,fortheCrimeaandtheMutinycarriedoffnolessthannine.Thereremainedin1870butfiveoftheoriginalmembers,andatthedateofmystory,includingthetwoFinsburys,butthree.BythistimeMastermanwasinhisseventy-thirdyear;hehadlongcomplainedoftheeffectsofage,hadlongsinceretiredfrombusiness,andnowlivedinabsoluteseclusionundertheroofofhissonMichael,thewell-knownsolicitor.Joseph,ontheotherhand,wasstillupandabout,andstillpresentedbutasemi-venerablefigureonthestreetsinwhichhelovedtowander.ThiswasthemoretobedeploredbecauseMastermanhadled(eventotheleastparticular)amodelBritishlife.Industry,regularity,respectability,andapreferenceforthefourpercentsareunderstoodtobetheveryfoundationsofagreenoldage.AlltheseMastermanhademinentlydisplayed,andherehewas,abagendo,atseventy-three;whileJoseph,barelytwoyearsyounger,andinthemostexcellentpreservation,haddisgracedhimselfthroughlifebyidlenessandeccentricity.Embarkedintheleathertrade,hehadearlyweariedofbusiness,forwhichhewassupposedtohavesmallparts.Atasteforgeneralinformation,notpromptlychecked,hadsoonbeguntosaphismanhood.Thereisnopassionmoredebilitatingtothemind,unless,perhaps,itbethatitchofpublicspeakingwhichitnotinfrequentlyaccompaniesorbegets.ThetwowereconjoinedinthecaseofJoseph;theTHEWRONGBOX5acutestageofthisdoublemalady,thatinwhichthepatientdeliversgratuitouslectures,soondeclareditselfwithseverity,andnotmanyyearshadpassedoverhisheadbeforehewouldhavetravelledthirtymilestoaddressaninfantschool.Hewasnostudent;hisreadingwasconfinedtoelementarytextbooksandthedailypapers;hedidnotevenflyashighascyclopedias;life,hewouldsay,washisvolume.Hislectureswerenotmeant,hewoulddeclare,forcollegeprofessors;theywereaddresseddirectto'thegreatheartofthepeople',andtheheartofthepeoplemustcertainlybesounderthanitshead,forhislucubrationswerereceivedwithfavour.Thatentitled'HowtoLiveCheerfullyonFortyPoundsaYear',createdasensationamongtheunemployed.'Education:ItsAims,Objects,Purposes,andDesirability',gainedhimtherespectoftheshallow-minded.Asforhiscelebratedessayon'LifeInsuranceRegardedinitsRelationtotheMasses',readbeforetheWorkingMen'sMutualImprovementSociety,IsleofDogs,it