第04讲 读后续写之“脱险类”主题（讲义）

资料收集整理【淘宝店铺：向阳百分百】►第04讲脱险类（讲义）目录目标1脱险类续写概述目标2恶劣环境来铺垫目标3心理感受来烘托目标4外貌神态来助力目标5谋篇布局有起伏目标6万能升华来点睛目标7最新模拟目标8真题感悟_____________________________________________________________________读后续写中会遇到描写森林迷路、地震、水灾、火灾等内容的故事，如果涉及到对生命造成一定威胁的情节，我们就把这类文章归为“脱险型”。在近年高考真题中，如2023年浙江卷1月蜂鸟脱困；2020年浙江卷1月遇到北极熊；2018年浙江卷6月森林遇险。如何续写好此类文章呢？清代袁枚《随园诗话》中说过，“文似看山不喜平”，就提出过写文章好比观赏山峰那样，不喜欢平坦，喜欢起伏。而读后续写中，情节的跌宕起伏就是一种极好的提升文章整体水平的手法。这种转折即由“负”变“正”；或由“正”变“负”。最终体现正能量的结局，就是由“正”变“负”。【写作步骤】一恶劣环境来铺垫1.Thewaterwasdeepandrunningfastfromabigrainstormthenightbefore.前天晚上下了一场大暴雨，水又深又急。2.Thewatertwistedandturnedhim,scrapinghimagainsttherocksashewascarriedalong.Watergushedintohismouthanduphisnose.水流不停地扭动着他，旋转着他，把他蹭在岩石上。水灌进他的嘴里，没过了他的鼻子。3.What'sworse,hedidn'thaveanyfoodorwaterwithhim,letalonehiscellphoneorothersupplies.更糟糕的是，他没有任何食物和水，更不要说他的手机和其他日用品。4.Theskyisovercast,darkenedwithgloomyclouds.天空阴沉，乌云密布。5.Theicywindstartedhowling,stingingmyface.寒风开始咆哮，刺痛了我的脸。资料收集整理【淘宝店铺：向阳百分百】6.Thewindwashowlingandthewavessmackedrepeatedlyagainstherface.风在呼啸着，海浪不停地拍打着她的脸。7.Butthen,asIlookedinthedistance,Idiscoveredaseriesofthreeorfourbigwavesheadingtowardstheshore.但后来，当我往远处看时，我发现有三四个大浪正在冲向海岸。8.Itswayedviolentlyinastrongwind.Itsroadwaywasdamagedbyvehicles.Itsaccesswasblockedbymanypeople.它在强风中剧烈摇晃。车辆损坏了道路。许多人堵住了通道。9.Theangrywavescrashedagainstthesideoftheboat,withwatersplashinghereandthere.愤怒的海浪拍打向船的一侧，水到处飞溅。二心理感受来烘托1.Anominousthoughtcrossedhismind:I’mgoingtodieuphere.一个不祥的念头掠过他的脑海：我要死在这了。2.Lookingatthevastsea,Ifeltasenseoffearsurgingthroughmywholebody.看着浩瀚的大海，我感到一种恐惧感掠过我的全身。3.Saltstingingmyeyes,IcouldhardlytellhowlongIcouldholdon.盐刺痛了我的眼睛，我几乎不知道我能坚持多久。4.Griefcomesinwaves.悲伤如潮水一般涌来。5.Withapoundingheartandcold,moistpalms,Ifeltfaint.最后一句话像一颗子弹击中了我的心。6.Afraidandmerelydesperate,sherushedtowardshim.她害怕而绝望，向他冲去。三外貌神态来烘托1.Hearingthebadnews,Maryfrozewithshock,asifrootedontheground.听到这个坏消息，玛丽吓得愣住了，好像长在了地上。2.Tearsblurredhereyes.泪水模糊了她的双眼。3.Isobbedbitterly,tastingthesaltfromthetearsthatstreameddownmyface.我痛苦地抽泣着，尝到脸上流下泪水咸咸的味道。4.Shecalmeddowntokeeptherhymeofbreathingsothatshecouldbreatheevenly.她平静下来，保持呼吸的韵律，以便能够均匀地呼吸。5.Iglancedbackovermyshouldertomakesurethatnoonewasfollowingme.我回头瞟了一眼以确保没有人跟踪我。资料收集整理【淘宝店铺：向阳百分百】四谋篇布局有起伏1.Ultimately,wewereback,safeandsound.最终，我们又回来了，安然无恙。2.Wejumpedintothewarmvehicleandtheforesterdroveustotherangerstation,whereweweregivenclothesandwereabletocallourparents.我们跳上了温暖的车，森林管理员开车把我们送到护林员站，在那里我们得到了衣服，并可以打电话给我们的父母。3.Suddenlyitoccurredtousthatwecouldkeeptothetracktoguideusback.Butitwasgettingdarkeranddarker,thusmakingitincreasinglydifficultforustomakeouttheroad.突然我们想到我们可以坚持小路引导我们回去。但天色越来越暗，使我们走道路越来越困难。五万能升华来点睛脱险类的文章有一个万能的表达“这是一次难忘的经历”。万能升华1：Thatdaywassounforgettablethatitwouldstayinmymemoryforever.句意：那天是如此难忘，它将永远留在我的记忆。遇到危险并且最终成功脱险的经历，想必对我们每个人来说一定是一生中难忘的经历。本句中使用了so...that的句式结构：如此......以至于。unforgettable是一个形容词，表示“无法忘记的”。万能升华2：Itwasthisuniqueexperiencethatmademeunderstandwhateverdifficultywearefacedwith,wemustn’tgiveupourhope.句意：正是这种独特的经历让我明白了我们所面临的任何困难，我们都不能放弃希望。本句为复合句，运用强调句itwas...that...、定语从句that...、宾语从句whatever...，属于高级句式。万能升华3：Aslongaswedon’tgiveuphopeandmakeeveryefforttoovercomeallthedifficulties,wewillsurelymakeasuccesssoonerorlater.句意：只要我们不放弃希望，不尽一切努力克服一切困难，我们迟早一定会取得成功的。本句是复合句。Aslongas引导状语从句，且句子运用较多短语如makeasuccess,soonorlater等。万能升华4：OnlythendidIrealizethatitwasbraverythatcanconquerwhateverdifficultycameintheway.句意：直到那时，我才意识到，正是勇敢才能克服一切困难。遇到危险后，勇敢面对，才能解决问题。这个句子突出了“勇敢”这个核心，这在“脱险型”的故事里，是非常恰当的。这句话使用了倒装的结构和强调结构结合的方式，也属于高分亮点句。【最新模拟】资料收集整理【淘宝店铺：向阳百分百】（2023年湖南长沙一中校考阶段练习）阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。AFootholdinLifeAdozenchildrenranaroundlaughingandplayinginmyfriend’syard,whileweparentssatchattingandsippingcoolsummerdrinks.Thebarbecuehadbeenclearedawaywhenourhostannouncedasurprise.Ahugemovablerockwallwasloadedin,whichwasabouttwelvefeetwide,madeofgraymoldedplasticwithindentedfootholdsthatstretchedstraightupforwhatlookedlikeatleastahundredfeet.Theenthusiastickidsswiftlylineduptogiveitatry,andwiththecompletefearlessnessmostchildrenpossess,scrambledtothetopandrangthebellthathungatthehighestpoint.Therewasn’treallyanythingtobeafraidofsincetheywerebeltedintoplace.Threepeoplecouldclimbsidebysideandtalktoeachother,sograduallytheadultstriedit,too.“Comeon;let’sgogetinline,”myhusbandNeilurged.“No,yougoaheadwithoutme.”Ihadallsortsofgoodexcuses:Idon’thavetherightshoes;Iforgotmysunglasses;Ihavetohelpthehostess.Ihaveauniquetalentforseeingunthinkabledangerinalmosteverysituation,andthissceneseemeddangeroustome.Iwatchedeveryoneelsehavingfun,though,andfinallyconvincedmyselftotryit.WithallthenerveIcouldgather,Istartedtheclimb.Thebeltwrappedaroundmelikeadiapersotherewasnowaytofall.Yes,Ithought,thisisfunandsafe!Concentratingoneachfoothold,Islowlymademywayup.Iavoidedlookingdowntopreventanysuddenpanic,andwithinafewminutesImadeittothetopandproudlyrangthebell.“Woohoo!”mydaughterscalleduptome.“Waytogo,Col!”Neilyelled.IenjoyedmysuccessandtheenjoyableviewoffieldsandfarmlanduntilIrealizedtherewasalinebelowmewaitingforaturn.Itwastimetogodown.注意：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Itwasonethingtolookoutattheworl