搜索
TwoTruthstoLivebyHoldfast,andletgo:Understandthisparadox,andyoustandattheverygateofwisdomAlexanderM.SchindlerCommencementspeechattheUniversityofSouthCarolinain1987Theartoflivingistoknowwhentoholdfastandwhentoletgo.Forlifeisaparadox:itenjoinsustoclingtoitsmanygiftsevenwhileitordainstheireventualrelinquishment.Therabbisofoldputitthisway:“Amancomestothisworldwithhisfistclenched,butwhenhedies,hishandisopen.Surelyweoughttoholdfasttolife,foritiswondrous,andfullofabeautythatbreaksthrougheveryporeofGod'sownearth.Weknowthatthisisso,butalltoooftenwerecognizethistruthonlyinourbackwardglancewhenwerememberwhatitwasandthensuddenlyrealizethatitisnomore.Werememberabeautythatfaded,alovethatwaned.Butwerememberwithfargreaterpainthatwedidnotseethatbeautywhenitflowered,thatwefailedtorespondwithlovewhenitwastendered.Arecentexperiencere-taughtmethistruth.Iwashospitalizedfollowingasevereheartattackandhadbeeninintensivecareforseveraldays.Itwasnotapleasantplace.Onemorning,Ihadtohavesomeadditionaltests.Therequiredmachineswerelocatedinabuildingattheoppositeendofthehospital,soIhadtobewheeledacrossthecourtyardonagurney.Asweemergedfromourunit,thesunlighthitme.That'salltherewastomyexperience.Justthelightofthesun.Andyethowbeautifulitwas--howwarming,howsparkling,howbrilliant!Ilookedtoseewhetheranyoneelserelishedthesun'sgoldenglow,buteveryonewashurryingtoandfro,mostwitheyesfixedontheground.ThenIrememberedhowoftenI,too,hadbeenindifferenttothegrandeurofeachday,toopreoccupiedwithpettyandsometimesevenmeanconcernstorespondtothesplendorofitall.Theinsightgleanedfromthatexperienceisreallyascommonplaceaswastheexperienceitself:life'sgiftsareprecious--butwearetooheedlessofthem.Herethenisthefirstpoleoflife'sparadoxicaldemandsonus:Nevertoobusyforthewonderandtheaweoflife.Bereverentbeforeeachdawningday.Embraceeachhour.Seizeeachgoldenminute.Holdfasttolife...butnotsofastthatyoucannotletgo.Thisisthesecondsideoflife'scoin,theoppositepoleofitsparadox:wemustacceptourlosses,andlearnhowtoletgo.Thisisnotaneasylessontolearn,especiallywhenweareyoungandthinkthattheworldisourstocommand,thatwhateverwedesirewiththefullforceofourpassionatebeingcan,nay,will,beours.Butthenlifemovesalongtoconfrontuswithrealities,andslowlybutsurelythissecondtruthdawnsuponus.Ateverystageoflifewesustainlosses--andgrowintheprocess.Webeginourindependentlivesonlywhenweemergefromthewombandloseitsprotectiveshelter.Weenteraprogressionofschools,thenweleaveourmothersandfathersandourchildhoodhomes.Wegetmarriedandhavechildrenandthenhavetoletthemgo.Weconfrontthedeathofourparentsandourspouses.Wefacethegradualornotsogradualwaningofourownstrength.Andultimately,astheparableoftheopenandclosedhandsuggests,wemustconfronttheinevitabilityofourowndemise,losingourselves,asitwere,allthatwewereordreamedtobe.Butwhyshouldwebereconciledtolife'scontradictorydemands?Whyfashionthingsofbeautywhenbeautyisevanescent?Whygiveourheartinlovewhenthosewelovewillultimatelybetornfromourgrasp?Inordertoresolvethisparadox,wemustseekawiderperspective,viewingourlivesasthroughwindowsthatopenoneternity.Oncewedothat,werealizethatthoughourlivesarefinite,ourdeedsonearthweaveatimelesspattern.Lifeisneverjustbeing.Itisabecoming,arelentlessflowingon.Ourparentsliveonthroughus,andwewillliveonthroughourchildren.Theinstitutionswebuildendure,andwewillendurethroughthem.Thebeautywefashioncannotbedimmedbydeath.Ourfleshmayperish,ourhandswillwither,butthatwhichtheycreateinbeautyandgoodnessandtruthlivesonforalltimetocome.Don'tspendandwasteyourlivesaccumulatingobjectsthatwillonlyturntodustandashes.Pursuenotsomuchthematerialastheideal,foridealsaloneinvestlifewithmeaningandareofenduringworth.Addlovetoahouseandyouhaveahome.Addrighteousnesstoacityandyouhaveacommunity.Addtruthtoapileofredbrickandyouhaveaschool.Addreligiontothehumblestofedificesandyouhaveasanctuary.Addjusticetothefar-flungroundofhumanendeavorandyouhavecivilization.Putthemalltogether,exaltthemabovetheirpresentimperfections,addtothemthevisionofhumankindredeemed,foreverfreeofneedandstrifeandyouhaveafuturelightedwiththeradiantcolorsofhope.人生的两条真理抓紧与放松：理解了这一悖论，你便立于智慧之门亚历山大·辛德勒1987年在南卡罗来那大学毕业典礼上的演讲生活的艺术就是要懂得适时地收与放，因为生活本身即是一种悖论：一方面，它让我们依恋于它所赋予的各种馈赠；另一方面，又注定了我们对这些礼物最终的弃绝。正如老一辈犹太学者所说，人出生时双拳紧握而来，而离开这个世界时却是松手而去。毫无疑问，我们应该牢牢抓住生命，因为它是如此神奇，充满着美丽，这种美丽从神灵的每一寸土地中喷涌而出。我们明白了这个道理，然而我们常常只是在蓦然回首忆及往事时才突然觉醒，可是一旦觉醒，那样的美景已不复存在了。我们铭记的是凋谢的美，逝去的爱。可尤为痛苦的回忆是，当美丽绽放之时，我们不曾注意；当爱情到来之际，我们不曾予以回应。最近一次经历又使我领悟到这个真理。一次严重的心脏病发后，我被送进医院，在特护区住了几天。那儿可不是什么令人愉快的地方。一天上午，我得接受几项附助检查。因为检查所用的器械在医院尽头对面的一栋大楼里，所以我必须躺在轮床上被人推着穿过院子。就在我们从病房出来的那一刻，迎面的阳光一下子洒在我身上。这就是我当时所感受到的一切。只不过就是阳光，然而它又是如此美丽，如此温暖，如此璀璨，如此辉煌！我环顾四周，想看一看是否也有人在欣赏这金灿灿的阳光。可是人人都来去匆匆，大多数人的目光只盯在地上。继而我回想到我也常常如此，对于每天的辉煌熟视无睹，只是一味沉湎于琐碎甚至是微不足道的事情之中，而对身边的胜景无动于衷。这次经历所获得的感悟的确和经历本身一样平凡，这就是：生活的馈赠是珍贵的，只是我们对此留心甚少。这就是人生向我们提出的矛盾要求的第一个方面：不要太过忙碌而错过了人生的美好和庄严。虔诚地恭候每一个黎明的到来。把握每一个小时，抓住宝贵的每一分钟。紧紧地把握人生，但又不能抓得过死，松不开手。这正是人生这枚硬币的另外一面，也正是那悖论的另一面：我们必须接受失去，学会如何放手。这一课并不容易学好。特别是当我们年轻的时候，总认为世界是由我们掌控的。只要我们满腔热情、全力以赴地去追求，不管什么东西都可能得到——不，是一定会得到。但是，随着生活继续前进，我们不断面临各种现实，开始慢慢地并真切地明白第二条真理。在生命的每个阶段上，我们都在承受失去——却也在这个过程中得以成长。我们只有在脱离娘胎、失去其庇护时，才能开始