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19年浙江卷概要写作习作点评第二节概要写作（满分25分）阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Parentseverywherepraisetheirkids.JennBerman,authorofTheAtoZGuidetoRaisingHappyandConfidentKids,says,“We’vegonetotheoppositeextremeofafewdecadesagowhenparentstendedtobemorestrict.”Bygivingkidsalotofpraise,parentsthinkthey’rebuildingtheirchildren’sconfidence,when,infact,itmaybejusttheopposite.Toomuchpraisecanbackfireand,whengiveninawaythat'sinsincere,makekidsafraidtotrynewthingsortakeariskforfearofnotbeingabletostayontopwheretheirparents’praisehasputthem.Still,don’tgotoofarintheotherdirection.Notgivingenoughpraisecanbejustasdamagingasgivingtoomuch.Kidswillfeellikethey’renotgoodenoughorthatyoudon’tcareand,asaresult,mayseenopointintryinghardfortheiraccomplishments.Sowhatistherightamountofpraise?Expertssaythatthequalityofpraiseismoreimportantthanthequantity.Ifpraiseissincereandfocusedontheeffortnottheoutcome,youcangiveitasoftenasyourchilddoessomethingthatdeservesaverbalreward.“Weshouldespeciallyrecognizeourchildren’seffortstopushthemselvesandworkhardtoachieveagoal,”saysDonahue,authorofParentingWithoutFear:LettingGoofWorryandFocusingonWhatReallyMatters.“Onethingtorememberisthatit’stheprocessnottheendproductthatmatters.”Yoursonmaynotbethebestbasketballplayeronhisteam.Butifhe’soutthereeverydayandplayinghard,youshouldpraisehiseffortregardlessofwhetherhisteamwinsorloses.Praisingtheeffortandnottheoutcomecanalsomeanrecognizingyourchildwhenshehasworkedhardtocleantheyard,cookdinner,orfinishabookreport.Butwhateveritis,praiseshouldbegivenonacase-by-casebasisandbeproportionate（相称的）totheamountofeffortyourchildhasputintoit.下水作文1JayChen个人简介：加拿大公立中学英语教师，华人，出生台湾，7岁时随家人移居加拿大。Althoughencouragementsprovideasenseofconfidence,overpraisingone’schildcouldleadtounintendedoutcomes.Nevertheless,anabsence（absence,meaning“thefactofsb/sthnotexistingornotbeingavailable;alackofsth”与原文的notenough严重不一致）ofcomplimentwouldresultinapathy（resultinapathy的意思是父母不表扬就是冷漠不关心；而原文Kidswillfeellikethey’renotgoodenoughorthatyoudon’tcare的意思是孩子会感觉自己不够好或者父母不在意。“感觉”与“就是”是有本质区别的）fromalackofacknowledgement.Experts,then,arguethatthequalitysuchasthesincerityorfocusoffeedbackismoreimportantthanthenumberoftimesthey’regiven.Therefore,oneshouldpraisetheeffortandnotachievement.2LaurenRotzien个人简介：加拿大公立中学英语教师，近20年英语教学经验，擅长英文写作探究。Howmuchpraiseshouldparentsgivetheirchildren?Toomuchpraisecanbedamagingwhenitpreventskidsfromtryingnewthingsforfeartodisappointtheirparents.Buttoolittlepraisecanalsocauseconfidence(andmotivation)issuesinchildren.（如果缺乏自信和缺乏积极性这两个后果只选其中一个写入概要的话，选择后者写更好。因为缺乏积极性是缺乏自信的后果。我们要培养孩子自信的目的也是让孩子通过增强自信而变得积极主动。原文就是这个意思。）Itisimportanttofocusonqualityoreffortsratherthanquantityoroutcomes（严重曲解原文。原文的意思：所谓有质量的表扬，意思就是关注过程的很真诚的很有针对性的与孩子所做的努力程度相匹配的表扬。而这篇概要中quality，efforts，quantityandoutcomes这四个词的逻辑关系与原文完全不一样。）andwhengivingpraiseinordertoraiseconfident,healthychildren（作为概要，这句话多余了。概要字数有限。在有限的字数里，我们想要尽可能详细到位地表达原文，那些不用说也可以通过语境推断出来的内容就不要出现在概要里了，把有限的字数让给那些重要的细节，同时减少笼统的像mainidea的方式的表达会更好。）.3Annabel个人简介：UBC大学学生Toomanycomplimentsfromparentscanbecounterproductive,leavingchildrenmuchlessadventuroussincetheyareafraidoffailingtosatisfytheirparents.However,notenoughpraisecanleadchildrennottoworkhardbecausetheymayfeelbeingignored(orunconfident).(原文Kidswillfeellikethey’renotgoodenoughorthatyoudon’tcare中they’renotgoodenough或者thatyoudon’tcare不是相同的两个概念，相比之下，在这个语境中更重要的是feellikethey’renotgoodenough。在概要中，要么把两个内容都概括进去，要么选写前者。比如像柯老师这样概括：deficientpraisealsoimpairschildren’sself-trustandmotivation.)Actually,parentsshouldpayattentiontotheprocessthantheresultandprovidequalitypraisecorrespondingtothechildren'seffortsonacase-by-casebasis.4Madison个人简介：加拿大公立中学英语教师，长期致力于课程研究和开发，曾访学多国。Whileallchildrendeservepraise,itisimportantforparentstoprovidethemwiththecorrectamount.Ifpraisedtoomuch,theymaydoubttheirabilitytoliveuptotheirparent’sstandards.Ifpraisedtoolittle,childrenwillcarelessabouttheirsuccessesoraccomplishments.Instead,praiseshouldbebasedonqualityandeffortsoverquantityandoutcomes（严重曲解原文。原文的意思：所谓有质量的表扬，就是关注过程的很真诚的很有针对性的与孩子所做的努力程度相匹配的表扬。而这篇概要中quality，efforts，quantityandoutcomes这四个词的逻辑关系与原文严重不一样。）–beingsincere,meaningfulanddeserving.（meaningful应该是包含sincere和deserving的。另外，deserving这个词写在概要里太笼统了。一篇好的概要，既要找准要点，忠于原文，还不能像mainidea一样笼统干巴巴）5LizBell个人简介：加拿大中学任教英语20余年，曾任职教委，参与编著教材、设计课程。Howmuchpraiseshouldparentsgivetotheirchildren?Studieshaveshownthatbothtoomuchandtoolittlepraisecandiscouragechildrenfromtryingnewthings.Moreimportantthanthequantityisthequalityofpraise.Praisethatissincereandfocusedoneffortratherthanoutcomeismosteffectiveforencouragingchildrentostriveforsuccessinlife.（准确无误，语言也非常贴切，逻辑组织无懈可击）6Coco个人简介：中国留学生，初三留学加拿大，现UBC大学大一学生。Childrennowadaysreceivemorepraisecomparedtopreviousgenerations.Expertsareconcernedthatexcessiveandinsincerepraisecannegativelyimpactthebehaviorsofchildren（此处写得更加specific些会更好。理由如上。）whileothersargue（原文没说另一些人）thataninadequateamountofpraisemayharmchildren’sself-esteem.Whatreallymattersistheprocessoftryingbutnottheoutcome,thereforeparentsshouldgivehigh-qualitypraisewhichisproportionatetotheeffort.7柯继安个人简介：教书20年，语言学研究生，曾先后在杭高、杭二中等学校教授英语