搜索
BillyBaxter'sLetters1BillyBaxter'sLettersWilliamJ.Kountz,Jr.BillyBaxter'sLetters2PREFACEInpresentingthiswork,webelievethatanexplanationisduethereaderastowhythelettersaregivenintheirpresentformatthistime.Thefirstbookpublished,OneNight,wasissuedbyTheDuquesneDistributingCompanytoshowitsgreatlovefortheAmericanpeople,andtoincidentallyadvertisethe'R--R--S--.'Itssuccesswasimmediate.InSocietyappearedFebruary1,1899,andscoredaspromptlyasOneNight.Thedemandforthebookletswasphenomenal,andMr.Kountzreceivedthousandsoffriendlylettersapplaudinghimforhishumor.Healsoreceivedflatteringoffersfromtheleadingcomicweeklies,themetropolitandailies,andgreatadvertisersthroughouttheUnion.Hedeclinedthemall,beingprimarilyabusinessman,andcarryingliteratureonlyasasideline.OnMay1stInLovewasgiventothepublic,withthepromisethatInNewYorkwouldfollowonOctoberIst.OntheeveningofAugust9th,WilliamJ.Kountz,Jr.,turnedtothewriterofthispreface,andreferringtoInNewYork,said:Well,I'mthrough,allbutgoingoverit.Heneverreturnedtohisoffice,andonAugust18thhediedintheroomwherehewasbornnotquitethirty-twoyearsbefore.Wethenconceivedtheideaofputtingthelettersoutintheirpresentform,asalasttributetotheauthor,whoinlessthanayear'sworkliftedhimselfintoaplaceamongthenation'shumorists.Wehavereproducedonlysuchoftheprefacesandadvertisementsashavebeenwidelydiscussedfortheirhumorousquality,andwhichtheauthor'sfriendsinsistedshouldnobeomitted.Thetwoheretoforeunmentionedletterswerediscoveredaftertheauthor'sdeath,andarepublishedintherough,astheywerefound.OutHuntingisbasedonatripwhichactuallytookplace,andfrompersonalknowledgecontainsagooddealoffact.ItwasdoubtlesswrittenbeforeOneNight,andforthatreasonisgivenpriorityinthearrangement.JohnnyBlack'sGirlismerelyascrap,andisinsertedassuch.Itshows,however,thattheauthorhadatearforpityaswellasaneyeforBillyBaxter'sLetters3theridiculous.Geo.McC.Kountz.BillyBaxter'sLetters4OUTHUNTINGPittsburg,September1,1898.DearJim:IamjustbackfromSt.Paul,whereIspentacoupleofdayswithTeddyWorthington.TeddyandBudHathawayofChicagoweregoingonashootingtripintheBigWoodsofMinnesota,andtheyaskedmetogowiththem.Itwasnewdealforme,soofcourseIwasforit.Ihiredahammerlessbreech-loaderforsevenaweek,borrowedalotoffishing-tackle,andboughtahunting-knifewithanickel-platedhandle.Itwasabeaut,andstoodmethreefifty.Afellowcanneverbetoocareful.UpthereyouarelikelyanyminutetocomefacetofacewithanApacheorsomeoldleft-overAztecrubberingaroundamongthetrees.AtthelastminuteBudHathaway'sfatherhadtodie,sojustTeddyandmyselfwent.AfterweleftthetrainwerodetwentymilesinawagontoFreshwaterLake,whichwasourdestination.Thehousewherewestayedwaskeptbyahalf-breedguidenamedSarpo,andwithhimlivedhistwosonsandhissecondwife,whowasayoungwhitegirl,andnotabadlookeratthat.Thenextmorningwestartedoutafterducks.ImadeahorriblebluffthatIwasoneoftheoldboysatthebusiness,andthatIwasontoeverything--tillitcametoloadingmyhammerless,andthere'swhereIwenttothebad.Icouldn'tgettheblamedthingopen.Teddyhandedmeafewofhiskindlittleremarks,andIgotbackathimwithsomethingpersonal.Hegotsore.Nothoroughbredkidderwouldhavegrownpersonal,butIcouldn'tthinkofanythingelseatthetime.Therewasnothingstirringintheduckline,andfortwohourswesatallhunchedupinalittleboatamongalotofweeds.Itwasgettingtobeasadaffairforme,andIwasthinkingofAtlanticCity,andthebandsofmusic,andtheswelldances,andtryingtofigurewherethesehuntershavethefuntheyarealwayscominghomeandtalkingabout,whensuddenlyalongcameadroveofducks.Onthesquare,theremusthavebeenamillion.Theothermembersofthepartybeganpickingthemoff,butyourUncleBillisoneofthosewiseshooters.IwaitedtilltheywererightovermyBillyBaxter'sLetters5head.Say!theyweresothickIcouldn'tseethesky.Iletgowiththefirstbarrel,rightintothecenterofthebunch.Nitduck.Thenthesecondbarrelwentoffofitsownaccord.I'llswear,Jim,Ihadnothingwhatevertodowithit.Anyway,nitduck.IthinkifI'dhadthreebarrelsonthatgunIwouldhavenailedaduck,aduckandahalf,ortwoducks,asIwasjustgettinggood.Iloadedup,andImusthavebeenflusteredabit,asIblewoneofthedecoysclearintothenextblock.Thenthingsagainassumedtheirusualhunter'sattitude,andaftersittingforanotherhourwepaddledovertooursail-boatandstarteddownthelakeforthehouse.Itwasblowingprettyhard,andtheskywasblackerthanPittsburg.Theskippersaidsomethingaboutasquall,butitdidn'thitusuntilwewereabouttwohundredyardsfromthedock.Thenwegotit,andgotitgood.Itwasbuttercupsanddaisies.Thunder,lightning,rain,andallthesidedishes.I'dhavegiveneightdollarstohaveseenacablecarcomingalongaboutthattime.Theskipperyelledtometoeaseoffthelarboardstay.Now,Imightknowsomethingaboutmincepie,butalarboardstayisnotmylongandhasty.Thensomeonepushedmeaside,andsucceededinputtingthingsinsuchexcellentshapethatweranplumbthroughthedock.Itwasgreat!Thatnightwesataround,andSarpoandhissonstoldsomefunnystories.My,buttheyweretothesaddings!Itoldoneofmybest,andnobodyfilteredbutTeddy.Thenextmorningatfivewetookthedogsandstartedoutafterdeer.Theyhavewhattheycallrun-waysordeerpasses,andthedeeralwaysgothesameroute.Theyoughttohavebettersense,althoughasfarasIamconcernedtheyareperfectlysafe.Theyputmeononeo