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HOWTOWORKFORANIDIOTSURVIVESZTHRIVE...WITHOUTKILLINGYOURBossThispageintentionallyleftblankHOWTOWORKFORANIDIOTSURVIVESZTHRIVE...WITHOUTKILLINGYOURBossByJohnHoover/iCAREERPRESSFranklinLakes,NJCopyright©2004byJohnHooverAllrightsreservedunderthePan-AmericanandInternationalCopyrightConventions.Thisbookmaynotbereproduced,inwholeorinpart,inanyformorbyanymeanselectronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystemnowknownorhereafterinvented,withoutwrittenpermissionfromthepublisher,TheCareerPress.HowTOWORKFORANIDIOTEDITEDANDTYPESETBYNICOLEDEFELICECoverdesignbyLuRossman/DigiDogDesignPrintedintheU.S.A.byBook-martPressToorderthistitle,pleasecalltoll-free1-800-CAREER-1(NJandCanada:201-848-0310)toorderusingVISAorMasterCard,orforfurtherinformationonbooksfromCareerPress.TheCareerPress,Inc.,3TiceRoad,POBox687,FranklinLakes,NJ07417CAREERPRES:survive&thrive—withoutkillingyourboss/byJohnHoover.p.cm.Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.ISBN1-56414-704-5(pbk.)1.Managingyourboss.2.Executives—Psychology.3.Officepolitics.4.Interpersonalrelations.5.Psychology,Industrial.I.Title.HF5548.83.H662004650.1'3—dc212003054652DedicationTomyfather,RobertJ.Hoover(1925-2001),whoshowedmehowwecanchangethewayswethinkandact.AcknowledgmentsIwanttothankCareerPresspublisher,RonFry,forhavingthecouragetopublishtheconfessionsofarecoveringIdiotBossandexaminethesometimesunsightlyunderworldofemployee/employerrelationships;CareerPresseditorialdirector,StaceyFarkasandeditor,NicoleDeFelice,whotransformedaragingtorrentofideasandpersonalillustrationsintoareadabledocumentthatactuallymakessense;mymother,RuthSchultzHoover,agiftedwriterherself,whoexaminedearlydraftsandsaid,Listentoyoureditors;SandyWilson,agiftedtraininganddevelopmentprofessional,whoreadanearlydraftandconfirmedthattheissueofIdiotBossesneededtobebroughtoutoftheclosetandintothedaylightwherewecouldallhaveagoodlaugh.Thanksalsotoauthorandleadershipexpert,DannyCox,forbeinganinspirationtomeandtosomany.AndspecialthankstoPamalaDavenportforherencouragementtoseethisthroughtotheend.ThispageintentionallyleftblankContentsIntroduction9Chapter1:ConfessionsofaRecoveringIdiot15Chapter2:WilltheRealIdiotPleaseStandUp?37Chapter3:TheMakingofanI-Boss61Chapter4:IdiotProcreation75Chapter5:BanishingTalent93Chapter6:SuccessInSpiteofStupidity109Chapter7:Idiotthink:TheGreatDisguise139Chapter8:AStrategicPartnership157Chapter9:Idiotspeak:HowtoTalktoYourIdiotBoss179Chapter10:Idiot-eat:UsingMealstoAdvanceYourCareer195Chapter11:Idiocy:Theoretical,Theological,andBiologicalRoots209Chapter12:TheOpenHand225Bibliography243Index245AbouttheAuthor251ThispageintentionallyleftblankIntroductionAfterstudyingIdiotBossesfornearlytwodecades,Ifinallyun-derstandwhyfemalesincertainspecieseattheiryoung.Theexperi-enceofworkingforanIdiotBossissouniversalandthefeelingsoffrustrationsowidespreadthatthemerementionofthisbooktitleresonatesthroughoutthehumanrace.Itdoesnotresonate,however,withIdiotBosses(codename:I-Bosses),notbecausetheytakeexceptiontothename-callingandinnuendo,butbecauseI-Bossesjustdon'tgetit—anyofit.Ioncefailedmiserablytryingtomarketaseminartitled,HowtoManagePeoplewhoareSmarter,MoreTalented,andProductivethanYouAre.MymistakewasadvertisingtoIdiotBosseswhoneededtheseminar.IfIhadadvertisedtopeoplewhocouldanony-mouslyenrollandsendtheirIdiotBosses,I'dbeamultimillionaire.HowtoWorkforanIdiotmightnotbeaseminartowhichbosseswilleagerlysendtheiremployees,butasabook,thepotentialaudienceofhighlymotivatedrevengeseekersishugeandasubiquitousasoxygen.Speakingofomnipresence,ontheseventhday,GodrelaxedandthoughtbackovertheproductiveweekHehadjustcompleted.SuddenlyrememberingthatHeforgottofixtheIdiotBossmalfunction,Godwincedandsaid,oops.Notfeelingtheproblemwasannoyingenoughtocreateaneight-dayweek,Godlettheidiotthingslide,andtherestishistory.Thenagain,Goddoesn'thavetoworkforanidiot.910HowtoWorkForanIdiotIdiotBossesarethemutanthiccupsoforganizationalevolutionwithcockroach-likeimmunitytocalamitiesthatwipeouttrulytal-entedandcreativepeople.Althoughidiotsarebarnaclesontheshipofexecutivesurvival,theycannonethelessservevaluablefunctions—aslongasthey'renotincharge.Thebadnewsistheyusuallyareincharge.Thegoodnewsis,talentedanddedicatedpeoplecanriseabovethesituationandthriveinspiteoftheirI-Bosses.IfHowtoWorkforanIdiotdoesn'tprovideyouwiththeknowledgeandawarenesstodealwiththisverticalmobilitychallenge,itmightatleastkeepyoufromgoingpostal.NearlyeveryonenowworksorhasworkedforanI-Boss.DespitethelibertiesthisbooktakeswitharchetypalIdiotBossesinthetradi-tionofDagwood'sMr.DithersorDilbert'sdespicabledepartmenthead,italsosuggestssomemethodsandtechniquestohelpyoudealwithfoolsinpositionsofpowermoreeasily.You'llencounterpearlsofwisdominthepagesahead.But,attimes,you'llneedtofollowaherdofswinetofindthem.Isn'tthathowreallifeworks?I'llleadyouthroughmanyofmyownexperiencessothetruthswillberevealedintheappropriatecon-text.You'lllearntoreflectonyourown