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Lesson1WhoAreyouandwhatareyoudoinghereWelcomeandcongratulations:Gettingtothefirstdayofcollegeisamajorachievement.You’retobecommended,andnotjustyou,buttheparents,grandparents,uncles,andauntswhohelpedgetyouhere.It’sbeensaidthatraisingachildeffectivelytakesavillage:Well,asyoumayhavenoticed,ourAmericanvillageisnotinverygoodshape.We’vegotguns,drugs,twowars,fanaticalreligions,aslime-basedpopularculture,andsomepoliticianswho—alittlerestrainthere—aren’twhattheymightbe.TomerelysurviveinthisAmericanvillageandtowinaplaceintheenteringclasshastakenalotofgritonyourpart.So,yes,congratulationstoall.Younowmaythinkthatyou’veaboutgotitmade.Amidsttheimpressivecollegebuildings,incompanywithahigh-poweredfaculty,surroundedbythebestofyourgeneration,allyouneedistokeepdoingwhatyou’vedonebefore:W’llemergeinfouryearsasaneducatedyoungmanorwoman.Readyforlife.Donotbelieveit.Itisnottrue.IfyouwanttogetarealeducationinAmericayou’regoingtohavetofight—andIdon’tmeanjustfightagainstthedrugsandtheviolenceandagainsttheslime-basedculturethatisstillgoingtosurroundyou.Imeansomethingalittlemoredisturbing.Togetaneducation,you’reprobablygoingtohavetofightagainsttheinstitutionthatyoufindyourselfin—nomatterhowprestigiousitmaybe.(Infact,themoreprestigioustheschool,themoreyou’llprobablyhavetopush.)YoucangetaterrificeducationinAmericanow—thereareastonishingopportunitiesatalmosteverycollege—buttheeducationwillnotbepresentedtoyouwrappedandbowed.Togetit,you’llneedtostruggleandstrive,tobestrong,andocca—infact,he’dbarelygottenoutofhighschool.Onenightafterdinner,heandIweresittinginourkitchenat58ClewleyRoadinMedford,Massachusetts,hatchingplansabouttherestofmylife.Iwasabouttogoofftocollege,afeatnooneinmyfamilyhadaccomplishedinlivingmemory.“IthinkImightwanttobepre-law,”Itoldmyfather.Ihadnoideawhatbeingpre-lawwas.Myfathercompressedhisbrowandblewtwinstreamsofsmoke,dragon-like,fromhismagnificentnose.“Doyouwanttobealawyer?”heasked.Myfatherhadsomeexperiencewithlawyers,andwithpolicemen,too;hewasnotwell-disposedtowardeither.“I’mnotreallysure,”Itoldh“butlawyersmakeprettygoodmoney,right?”Myfatherdetonated.(Thatwasnotuncommon.Myfatherdetonatedalot.)HetoldmethatIwasgoingtogotocollegeonlyonce,andthatwhileIwasthereIhadbetterstudywhatIwanted.Hesaidthatwhenrichkidswenttoschool,theymajoredinthesubjectsthatinterestedthem,andthatmyyoungerbrotherPhilipandIwereasgoodasanyrichkids.(Wewererichkidsminusthemoney.)Wasn’tIinterestedinliterature?IconfessedthatIwas.ThenIhadbetterstudyliterature,unlessIhadinsideinformationtotheeffectthatreincarnationwasn’tjusthype,andI’dbeabletoattendcollegethirtyorfortytimes.IfIhadsuchinfo,pre-lawwouldbefine,andmaybeevenatourthroughinvertebratebiologycouldalsobetossedin.ButuntilIhadthereincarnationstufffromasolidsource,IbettergettoworkandpickoutsomeEnglishclassesfromthecoursecatalog.“Howaboutthesciencerequirements?”“Take’emlater,”hesaid,“youneverknow.”Myfather,WrightAukenheadEdmundson,MaldenHighSchoolClassof1948(byahair),knewthescore.WhathetoldmethateveningattheClewleyRoadkitchentablewastrueinitself,anditalsocontainsthegermofanideaaboutwhatauniversityeducationshouldbe.Butapparentlyalmosteveryoneelse—students,teachers,andtrusteesandparents—seesthemattermuchdifferently.Theyhaveitwrong.Educationhasonesalientenemyinpresent-dayAmerica,andthatenemyiseducation—universityeducationinparticular.Toalmosteveryone,universityeducationisameanstoanend.Forstudents,thatendisagoodjob.Studentswantthecredentialsthatwillhelpthemgetahead.TheywantthecertificatethatwillgivethemaccesstoWallStreet,orentranceintolawormedicalorbusinessschool.Andhowcanweblamethem?—materialsuccess.TobepoorinAmericaistobeafailure—it’stobewithoutdecenthealthcare,withoutbasicnecessities,oftenwithoutdignity.Thentherearethoseback-breakingstudentloans—peopleleaveschoolasservants,indenturedtopaymassivebills,sothatfirstjobbetterbeagoodone.Studentscometocollegewiththegoalofadiplomainmind—whathappensinbetween,especiallyinclassrooms,isoftenofnodeepanddetermininginteresttothem.Incollege,lifeiselsewhere.Lifeisatparties,atclubs,inmusic,withfriends,insports.Lifeiswhatcelebritieshave.Theideathatthecoursesyoutakeshouldbetheprimaryobjectiveofgoingtocollegeistacitlyconsideredabsurd.Intermsoftheirwork,studentsliveinthefutureand