搜索
ThreeTimes’BeatingMonster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精开场：Longlongago,therewasateamwenttoTianZhu，therewasamastercalledXuanzang,therewasamonkeycalledWuKong,therewasapigcalledBajie,therewasamonkcalledShaSeng.Ontheirtrip…T:Emitofo,doyouknowwherewearenow?S:Bajie,map!E:(摸出，递给S)S:Look,boss(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T:Bajie!HowManytimesIhavetoldyou,don’tbringthesepicturesofbeautifulgirls!E:Oh,boss!Forgiveme(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)I’llkeepitforyouuntilwereachthewestE:But……T:Emitofo,nothingissex,sexisnothing!Map?E:(递)Here.Em……wehavearrivedinWhiteTigerMountain!AhIcan’twalkonanymore!(坐)Mystomachdoesn’tallowsoIamhungrymaster.S:FatPig!E:Monkey,ifyoudaretosaythesetwowordsonceagain,Iwill,Iwill……….S:Youwillwhat(凶相)?E:Iwilleatyou!.S:Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,actually,Iamabithungry.Couldyougotogetmesomefood?E:Yousee,bossishungry,too!T:Baijie!Don’tforgetwhoatemylastmeal!J:Butboss,ifamonstercomeswhilebrothermonkeyisaway…..T:Em…….Itisaproblem.Wukong,doyouhaveanyidea?S:Noproblem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J:Thisis…..?S:Electricnet!Ihavelearnttheenergyofelectricityfromboss’sbooks.SoImadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit!T:Em……Wukong,youarebecomingmoreandmorescientific!Emitofo,knowledgeispower!S:Bye!(走)T:Let’splaycards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B:Hm!Hm!Electricnet?Youaretoochildish.(变成B1)B1:(接近三人，望着)CanIjoinyou?J:I’msorry,lady.WeareplayingFightingAgainstlandownerandthreepeopleareenough.B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T:Bomb?(打出)B1:DoubleKing!T:Oh….Iwin!Em……,Lady,youareaboss-hand.Comeinandteachme!(准备开电网门)S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah……T:(气愤)Wukong!Lookwhathavedone!Sheismyteacher!S:Sheisamonster!T:Nonsense!(深呼吸)S:Oh,pleasedon’t……T:It’stoolate!(唱)Oncemore……youopenthedoor…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S:Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住，咳)Wukong,I’mdisappointedwithyou!B:(真身出现)Hm!SunWukong,I’llteachyoualesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,haveyouseenmydaughter?T:Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S:（咬牙切齿）Youmonster,I’llbeatyouintohell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J:AreyouOk,boss?(扶T)J:Look,(伸食指)howmany?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)SunWukong,gameover!(变成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh…mydaughter,mywife!Whodidit?!!(哭喊)S:I’llkillyou,monster!(打)T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)Youhavekilledthreelives!S:No,theyarenothumanbeings!Theyarecreatedbymonster!T:Monster?Youarearealmonster!Neverletmeseeyou,gogo!!S:(悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》J:boss,brotherMonkeyis.......T:Don'tmentionthatguyanymore!B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T:（惊）Youare......B:Howfoolishyouare,MrTang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B:(抓住T)I'lleatyou,enjoyyourmeatandblood,ha,ha......E:(呼天抢地状)Ohno!Iamstillasingleman,whereismywifewhereismytrueloveIloveyou.（恍然大悟）Whydon’tyoubemywifeMissBaigu.B:CrazyPig!Iwillkillyou!J:Justwait,wait!Beforeyoukillmyboss,youshouldtelluswhowouldhavekilledmyboss.B:Sillyquestion!It’sme,ofcourse!J:Whoisthat“me”?B:HowdoIknowwhoareyou!Whatdoyoumeanonearth?J:Thiswillbeginwiththerelationshipbetweenhumanbeingandtheuniverse.Takeyourselfforexample,thereisaproblembotheringyouallthetime.B:What’stheproblem?J:WhoamI?B:I’vealreadyknownit!J:No,youdon’tknow.Whoareyou?AreyouElf…Baigu?No,itisonlyaname,asignal.YoucanbecalledBaigu,socanI,andsocanthey.Whenwetakethesignaloff,whoareyou?B:I….Idon’tknow.ButIdon’thavetoknow!J:Alright,answermeanotherquestion---whoamI?B:Thisquestionhasbeenaskedjustnow.J:No,whatIaskedyoujustnowisme,andthistime,ismyself!B:Anydifference?J:Forinstance,whenItaketheuseofsignal“I”tomakeadialogue,yoursignalis“I”too.Dose’titmeanthatyouaremeandIamyou?B:This…thisquestionisnotworthytoanswer!J:Ok,let’stalkaboutsomethingworthy.WheredoIcomefrom?WhenwouldIdie?WhyamIintheworld?Whatisthesignificantformycomingtotheworld?IsthatIchoosetheworldortheworldchoosesme?!B:That’senough!J:IsthereanyessentialrelationshipbetweentheuniverseandI?Isthereanedgefortheuniverse?Dosetimehavelength?Wheredidthepasttimedisappear?Wheredosethefuturestop?ThequestionI’maskingnowisthequestionyoujustheard?B:Whydon’tyoukillme!旁白：Finally,JiWuminghithimselfonhishead,falltothefloor.T:I,Ican'tunderstand......Whathappened?S:Boss,yourIQneedsincreasing!T:Yesyes,knowledgeispower.Let’scallWukongback.E:(掏出手机):hello,brotherthemastercallyouback.悟空回归，唐僧道歉T:I......am......sorry.....(S捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）(谢幕)