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ThreeTimes’BeatingMonster剧本作者：黄斯倩（重庆邮电大学）导演：黄斯倩演员：黄斯倩，佘加杰，张碧亮，王传奇，谢光磊，卓炀程人物：唐僧、孙悟空、猪八戒、沙僧、白骨精（村姑小孩、老太婆、幕后放ppt的场景一：（“路在脚下”音乐响起）唐僧:（轻咳）悟空,factually,Iamabithungry，Couldyougotogetmesomefood?八戒:Yousee,masterishungry,metoo!沙僧：大师兄，二师兄说的对唐僧:八戒!Don`tforgetwhoatemylastmeal!（脚踹八戒）八戒：(委屈)butIstillhungry!沙僧:Butmaster,ifamonstercomeswhile大师兄isaway···唐僧:（点头）Em…….Itisaproblem.悟空,doyouhaveanyidea?悟空:Noproblem!(悟空围三人转了一圈)八戒:Thisis…..?悟空:Electricnet!Ihavelearnttheenergyofelectricityfrom儿歌三百首.SoImadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit!唐僧:Emm(摸悟空头)……悟空,youarebecomingsmarter!额米头发,knowledgeispower!悟空:Bye!jindoucloud！筋斗云：Iamjindoucloud!(捶胸，做熊样)Iamhere!(把孙悟空拖走)唐僧打坐，闭目养神。八戒和沙僧：两只小蜜蜂啊，飞在花丛中啊···场景二：村姑：米拉桑，阔你急哇~（日语）师徒三人：oh，hi（大家站了起来，某些个吹口哨,做勾引手势）村姑:Mynameisbai~（扭捏害羞样）大家：hello,missbai.村姑:actually,Iamgoingtosendsomefoodtosomemasters,theyliveinthetemple,look,aroundthecorner.（欲接近唐僧，被弹回）em···maybeyouarehungry,welcometomyhometohaveadinner,Iwillmakefoodforyou,(轻声说)delicious!八戒：yeah!youlooksodelicious!shifu!letsgo!唐僧：missbai,youaresokind,butwehavetowaitfor悟空…沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对，大师兄willfindus,letusgonow!村姑：comewithme.(大家跟着村姑走着，村姑一个媚眼，八戒倒下，唐僧跨过八戒的身体继续跟着村姑)[沙僧：（扶八戒）areyouok?八戒：no!Iamfullinlovewiththegirl!沙僧：yeah！sheisanappleinmyeyes!（吃了一口苹果）]唐僧：missbai!村姑：（转身眨眼）what?唐僧：IloveyouwhenIseeyouatthefirsttime!I···村姑：（轻轻用手堵住唐僧嘴）youjump,Ijump!(音乐响起，二人做泰坦尼克号经典动作)村姑：（转过身）shifu,closeyoureyes!let`shaveakiss!唐僧：wowIloveto（闭眼，翘起嘴巴，伸脖子）（村姑奸笑，准备吃了唐僧）悟空:(回来，看见村姑，火眼金睛看一眼村姑)Oh,monster!(上前就打,两人大战三回合，村姑倒)村姑:（倒)Ah……(凄惨的音乐放起)唐僧:(气愤)悟空!Lookwhathavedone!Sheisakindgirl!悟空:Sheisamonster!唐僧:Nonsense!(深呼吸)悟空:Oh,pleasedon’t……唐僧:It’stoolate!(唱)哦玛丽玛丽买卖home~~~悟空:Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)唐僧:(捶胸痛喊)悟空,I’mdisappointedwithyou!场景三：小孩：（坐在地上痛哭）（唐僧师徒走过来）小孩：（拉住八戒的腿）Iwantmymom.八戒：shifu,weareintrouble!沙僧：letmetry.littlegirl,whoisyourmama?小孩：hernameisbai.沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对。Weareintrouble.师傅：littlegirl,yourmomisgoingtotheheaven.小孩：whatdoesitmean?八戒：yeah,sheisdead.沙僧：d-e-a-d,dead!wekilledher.小孩：what?why?bringbackmymom.Ikillyou!悟空：stop!(闻小孩三下)youaremonster!小孩：you!arethemonster!Uglymonster!悟空：（咬牙切齿）Iamnotugly!Youmonster,I`llbeatyouintohell!(悟空追打小孩,小孩躲至唐僧身后，悟空打，不想打到唐僧头，唐僧晕，悟空再打死小孩)(凄惨的音乐放起)八戒&沙僧:AreyouOk,shifu?(扶唐僧)沙僧:Look,(伸食指)howmany?唐僧:Two…(晕乎乎地)悟空,gameover!场景四：老太婆：youkilledmydaughterandmydaughter`sdaughter!Ikillyou!唐僧：oh!itismyfault!Iamnotagoodshifu!pleasekillme!(老太婆掐唐僧，原地转圈)（悟空张开右手，左手指着右手，闭眼大喊：turn，turn，turn，沙僧把金箍棒放到他手中）八戒：awsome!youturnintoyourgoldencudgel！沙僧：大师兄，是被妖怪抓走了！悟空：oh,shifu,Iamcoming!.....don`tmove!悟空:I’llkillyou,monster!(打)唐僧:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(悟空打到师傅，师傅晕，E,沙僧扶住)（悟空与老太婆大战三回合，老太婆死）唐僧：Youhavekilledthreelives!悟空:No,theyarenothumanbeings!Theyarecreatedbymonster!唐僧:Monster?Youarearealmonster!look!yousougly!Neverletmeseeyou,go!!(凄惨的音乐放起)八戒:Master,大师兄just.......唐僧:shutup!Don'tmentionthatguyanymore!八戒：look，thebodyisgone!Maybe大师兄isright.沙僧：师傅，二师兄说的对，thewomenisreallyamonster!唐僧：oh!悟空,comeback!悟空：what？唐僧：doyouknowwhatis“dangdangdang”?悟空：whatis“dangdang”?唐僧：dangdangdang,is（唱)onlyyou……(onlyyou的音乐放起)八戒、沙僧：（抱悟空大腿）don`tgo!don`tleavemealone!(悟空犹豫)唐僧：（继续）o-onlyyou……悟空：ok!Pleaseshutup!Iamnotgo!(师傅悟空相拥，跳华尔兹，八戒沙僧哼结婚进行曲)良久，唐僧：let`smoveon.白骨精:shifu,don`tgo!Iamhere!（作贞子样，爬了过来，四人跑！）