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[原译]ThinkingasaHobby嗜好思索byWilliamGoldingWhileIwasstillaboy,Icametotheconclusionthattherewerethreegradesofthinking;andsinceIwaslatertoclaimthinkingasmyhobby,Icametoanevenstrangerconclusion-namely,thatImyselfcouldnotthinkatall.还是个孩子的时候我就得出了思考分三种等级的结论。后来思考成了嗜好，我进而得出了一个更加离奇的结论，那就是：我自己根本不会思考。Imusthavebeenanunsatisfactorychildforgrownupstodealwith.Irememberhowincomprehensibletheyappearedtomeatfirst,butnot,ofcourse,howIappearedtothem.Itwastheheadmasterofmygrammarschoolwhofirstbroughtthesubjectofthinkingbeforeme-thoughneitherintheway,norwiththeresultheintended.Hehadsomestatuettesinhisstudy.Theystoodonahighcupboardbehindhisdesk.Onewasaladywearingnothingbutabathtowel.Sheseemedfrozeninaneternalpaniclestthebathtowelslipdownanyfarther,andsinceshehadnoarms,shewasinanunfortunatepositiontopullthetowelupagain.Nexttoher,crouchedthestatuetteofaleopard,readytospringdownatthetopdrawerofafilingcabinetlabeledA-AH.Myinnocenceinterpretedthisasthevictim'slast,despairingcry.Beyondtheleopardwasanaked,musculargentleman,whosat,lookingdown,withhischinonhisfistandhiselbowonhisknee.Heseemedutterlymiserable.那个时候我一定是个很让大人头疼的小孩。我还记得那时我们在彼此眼中是如何不可理喻的。（改为:当然我已经忘记自己当初在他们眼里是什么样子了,但却记得他们一开始在我眼中就是如何不可理喻的。）第一个把思考这个问题带到我面前的是我文法学校的校长，当然这样的方式，这样的结果是他始料不及的。他的办公室里有一些小雕像，就在他书桌后面一个高高的橱柜上面。其中一位女士除了一条浴巾外一丝不挂。她好象被永远地冻结在对浴巾再往下滑的恐惧中了。而不幸的是她没有手臂，所以无法把浴巾拉上来。在她的身边蜷伏着一头美洲豹，好象随时都会往下跳到档案橱柜标着A-AH的最上层的抽屉上去,我懵懵懂懂的把这幅场景理解成受害者最后绝望的哭泣(改为：好象随时都会往下跳到档案橱柜最上层的抽屉上去，我懵懵懂懂地把那个抽屉上标着的A-AH理解成为猎物临死前绝望的哀鸣/惨叫)。在豹子的另一边端坐着一个健硕的裸体男子，他手肘支在膝头，手握拳托着腮帮子，全然一副痛苦不堪的样子。Sometimelater,Ilearnedaboutthesestatuettes.Theheadmasterhadplacedthemwheretheywouldfacedelinquentchildren,becausetheysymbolizedtohimtowholeoflife.ThenakedladywastheVenusofMilo.ShewasLove.Shewasnotworriedaboutthetowel.Shewasjustbusybeingbeautiful.TheleopardwasNature,andhewasbeingnatural.Thenaked,musculargentlemanwasnotmiserable.HewasRodin'sThinker,animageofpurethought.Itiseasytobuysmallplastermodelsofwhatyouthinklifeislike.过了一些时候，我对这些雕像有了一些了解,才知道把它们放在正对着犯错的孩子的位置是因为对校长来说这些雕像象征着整个生命。那位裸体的女士是米罗(改为米洛斯)的维纳丝。她象征着爱。她不是在为浴巾担心，而是忙着显示美丽。美洲豹象征着自然，它在那里显得很自然而已。那位健硕的裸体男子并不痛苦，他是洛丁的思索者，一个纯粹思索的象征。要买到表达生活在你心中的意义的小石膏像是很容易的事情。IhadbetterexplainthatIwasafrequentvisitortotheheadmaster'sstudy,becauseofthelatestthingIhaddoneorleftundone.Aswenowsay,Iwasnotintegrated.Iwas,ifanything,disintegrated;andIwaspuzzled.Grownupsnevermadesense.WheneverIfoundmyselfinapenalpositionbeforetheheadmaster'sdesk,withthestatuettesglimmeringwhitelyabovehim,Iwouldsinkmyhead,claspmyhandsbehindmyback,andwritheoneshoeovertheother.我想我得解释一下，我是校长办公室的常客，为我最近做过或者没做的事情。用现在的话来说我是不堪教化的。其实应该说，我是顽劣不羁，头脑迷糊的。大人们从来不讲道理。每次在校长桌前接受处罚，那些雕像在他上方白晃晃地耀眼时，我就会垂下头，在身后紧扣双手，用一只鞋去折腾另一只(改为:两只鞋不停地蹭来蹭去)。Theheadmasterwouldlookopaquelyatmethroughflashingspectacles.Whatarewegoingtodowithyou?校长透过亮晶晶的眼镜片眼神暗淡地看着我，：“我们该拿你怎么办呢？”Well,whatweretheygoingtodowithme?Iwouldwrithemyshoesomemoreandstaredownatthewornrug.哦，他们要拿我怎么办呢？我盯着旧地毯更狠命地蹂躏我的鞋。Lookup,boy!Can'tyoulookup?“抬起头来，孩子！你就不能抬起头来吗？”ThenIwouldlookatthecupboard,wherethenakedladywasfrozeninherpanicandthemusculargentlemancontemplatedthehindquartersoftheleopardinendlessgloom.Ihadnothingtosaytotheheadmaster.Hisspectaclescaughtthelightsothatyoucouldseenothinghumanbehindthem.Therewasnopossibilityofcommunication.然后我就会抬起头来看橱柜，看着裸体女士被冻结在恐惧中，健硕的男子无限忧郁地凝视着猎豹的后腿。我跟校长没什么好说的。他的镜片反光，所以我看不到镜片后面有什么人性的东西，所以没有交流的可能。Don'tyoueverthinkatall?“你从来都不动脑筋思考的吗？”No,Ididn'tthink,wasn'tthinking,couldn'tthink-Iwassimplywaitinginanguishfortheinterviewtostop.不，我不思考，刚才没思考，也不会思考——我只是在痛苦地等待接见结束。Thenyou'dbetterlearn-hadn'tyou?“那你最好学一学——你学了吗？”Ononeoccasiontheheadmasterleapedtohisfeet,reachedupandplonkedRodin'smasterpieceonthedeskbeforeme.有一次，校长跳起身来伸手取下洛丁的杰作重重地放在我面前的桌上。That'swhatamanlookslikewhenhe'sreallythinking.“一个人真正在思考的时候是这个样子的。”Isurveyedthegentlemanwithoutinterestorcomprehension.我毫无兴趣地看了看桌上的男子，什么也没弄懂。Gobacktoyourclass.“回你班上去。”Clearlytherewassomethingmissinginme.Naturehadendowedtherestofthehumanracewithasixthsenseandleftmeout.Thismustbeso,Imused,onmywaybacktotheclass,sincewhetherIhadbrokenawindow,orfailedtorememberBoyle抯Law,orbeenlateforschool,myteachersproducedmeone,adultanswer:Whycan'tyouthink?显然我是缺了点什么。大自然赋予其余的所有的人第六感觉却独独漏掉了我。一定是这样的，在回班上去的路上我想着。因为无论我是打烂了玻璃窗，不记得波义耳法则，还是上学迟到了，我的老师们都会千篇一律地得出一个答案：“你为什么不会思考呢？”AsIsawthecase,IhadbrokenthewindowbecauseIhadtriedtohitJackArneywithacricketballandmissedhim;IcouldnotrememberBoyle'sLawbecauseIhadneverbotheredtolearnit;andIwaslateforschoolbecauseIpreferredlookingoverthebridgeintotheriver.Infact,Iwaswicked.Weremyteachers,perhaps,sogoodthattheycouldnotunderstandthedepthsofmydepravity?Weretheyclear,untormentedpeoplewhocoulddirecttheireveryactionbythismysteriousbusinessofthinking?Thewholethingwasincomprehensible.Inmyearlieryears,IfoundeventhestatuetteoftheThinkerconfusing.Ididnotbelieveanyofmyteacherswerenaked,ever.Likesomeoneborndeaf,butbitterlydeterminedtofindoutaboutsound,Iwatchedmyteacherstofindoutaboutthought.要我说，我打碎了玻璃窗是因为我想用板球打杰克.阿尼没打着；我记不住波义耳法则是因为我根本没想去记；迟到了是因为我更喜欢在桥上看河水。事实上，我是邪恶的。难道我的老师们是那么的善良，以致于无法理解我的堕落深度？他们是那种心地清澈，不受折磨，凭那神秘的思考指导每一个行动的人？整件事情都是让人无法理解的。更小一点的时候，我