12The-Discovery-of-What-It-Means-to-Be-an-American

12TheDiscoveryofWhatItMeanstoBeanAmericanJamesBaldwin1¡°ItisacomplexfatetobeanAmerican,¡±HenryJamesobserved,andtheprincipaldiscoveryanAmericanwritermakesinEuropeisjusthowcomplexthisfateis.America¡¯shistory,heraspirations,herpeculiartriumphs,herevenmorepeculiardefeats,andherpositionintheworld¨Cyesterdayandtoday¨Careallsoprofoundlyandstubbornlyuniquethattheveryword¡°America¡±remainsanew,almostcompletelyundefinedandextremelycontroversialpropernoun.Nooneintheworldseemstoknowexactlywhatitdescribes,notevenwemotleymillionswhocallourselvesAmericans.2IleftAmericabecauseIdoubtedmyabilitytosurvivethefuryofthecolorproblemhere.(SometimesIstilldo.)IwantedtopreventmyselffrombecomingmerelyaNegro;oreven,merelyaNegrowriter.Iwantedtofindoutinwhatwaythespecialnessofmyexperiencecouldbemadetoconnectmewithotherpeopleinsteadofdividingmefromthem.(IwasasisolatedfromNegroesasIwasfromwhites,whichiswhathappenswhenaNegrobegins,atbottom,tobelievewhatwhitepeoplesayabouthim.)3Inmynecessitytofindthetermsonwhichmyexperiencecouldberelatedtothatofothers,Negroesandwhites,writersandnon-writers,Iproved,tomyastonishment,tobeasAmericanasanyTexasG.I.AndIfoundmyexperiencewassharedbyeveryAmericanwriterIknewinParis.Likeme,theyhadbeendivorcedfromtheirorigins,anditturnedouttomakeverylittledifferencethattheoriginsofwhiteAmericanswereEuropeanandminewereAfrican¨CtheywerenomoreathomeinEuropethanIwas.4ThefactthatIwasthesonofaslaveandtheywerethesonsoffreemenmeantless,bythetimeweconfrontedeachotheronEuropesoil,thanthefactthatwewerebothsearchingforourseparateidentities.Whenwehadfoundthese,weseemedtobesaying,why,then,wewouldnolongerneedtoclingtotheshameandbitternesswhichhaddividedussolong.5ItbecameterriblyclearinEurope,asitneverhadbeenhere,thatweknewmoreabouteachotherthananyEuropeanevercould.Anditalsobecameclearthat,nomatterwhereourfathershadbeenborn,orwhattheyhadendured,thefactofEuropehadformedusboth,waspartofouridentityandpartofourinheritance.6IhadbeeninParisacoupleofyearsbeforeanyofthisbecamecleartome.Whenitdid,Ilikemanyawriterbeforemeuponthediscoverythathispropshaveallbeenknockedoutfromunderhim,sufferedaspeciesofbreakdownandwascarriedofftothemountainsofSwitzerland,There,inthatabsolutelyHiroshimalandscape,armedwithtwoBessieSmithrecordsandatypewriterIbegantotrytorecreatethelifethatIhadfirstknownasachildandfromwhichIhadspentsomanyyearsinflight.7ItwasBessieSmith,throughhertoneandhercadence,whohelpedmetodigbacktothewayImyselfmusthavespokenwhenIwasapickaninny,andtorememberthethingsIhadneverlistenedtoBessieSmithinAmerica(inthesamewaythat,foryears,Iwouldnottouchwatermelon),butinEuropeshehelpedtoreconcilemetobeinga¡°nigger¡±.8IdonotthinkthatIcouldhavemadethisreconciliationhere.OnceIwasabletoacceptmyrole¨Casdistinguished,Imustsay,frommy¡°place¡±¡ªintheextraordinarydramawhichisAmerica,IwasreleasedfromtheillusionthatIhatedAmerica.9ThestoryofwhatcanhappentoanAmericanNegrowriterinEuropesimplyillustrates,insomerelief,whatcanhappentoanyAmericanwriterthere.Itisnotmeant,ofcourse,toimplythatithappenstothemall,forEuropecanbeverycripplingtoo;and,anyway,awriter,whenhehasmadehisfirstbreakthrough,hassimplywonacrucialskirmishinadangerous,unendingandunpredictablebattlestill,thebreakthroughisimportant,andthepointisthatanAmericanwriter,inordertoachieveit,veryoftenhastoleavethiscountry.10TheAmericanwriter,inEurope,isreleased,firstofall,fromthenecessityofapologizingforhimself.Itisnotuntilheisreleasedfromthehabitofflexinghismusclesandprovingthatheisjusta¡°regularguy¡±thatherealizeshowcripplingthishabithasbeen.Itisnotnecessaryforhim,there,topretendtobesomethingheisnot,fortheartistdoesnotencounterinEuropethesamesuspicionheencountershere.WhatevertheEuropeansmayactuallythinkofartists,theyhavekilledenoughofthemoffbynowtoknowthattheyareasreal¨Candaspersistent¨Casrain,snow,taxesorbusinessmen.11Ofcourse,thereasonforEurope¡¯scomparativeclarityconcerningthedifferentfunctionsofmeninsocietyisthatEuropeansocietyhasalwaysbeendividedintoclassesinawaythatAmericansocietyneverhasbeen.AEuropeanwriterconsidershimselftobepartofanoldandhonorabletradition¨Cofintellectualactivity,ofletters¨Candhischoiceofavocationdoesnotcausehimanyuneasywonderastowhetherornotitwillcosthimallhisfriends.ButthistraditiondoesnotexistinAmerica.12Onthecontrary,wehaveaverydeep-seateddistrustofrealintellectualeffort(probablybecausewesuspectthatitwilldestroy,asIhopeitdoes,thatmythofAmericatowhichweclingsodesperately).AnAmericanwriterfightshiswaytooneofthelowestrungsontheAmericansocialladderbymeansofpurebull-headednessandanindescribableseriesofoddjobs.Heprobablyhasbeena¡°regularfellow¡±formuchofhisadultlife,anditisnoteasyforhimtostepoutofthatlukewarmbath.13Wemust,however,consideraratherseriousparadox;thoughAmericansocietyismoremobilethanEurope¡¯s,itiseasiertocutacrosssocialandoccupationallinestherethanitishere.Thishassomethingtodo,Ithink,withtheproblemofstatusinAmericanlife.Whereeveryonehasstatus,itisalsoperfectlypossible,afterall,thatnoonehas.Itseemsinevitable,inanycase,thatamanmaybecomeuneasyastojustwhathisstatusis.14ButEuropeanshavelive