Loves-responsibility

LovemeanshavingaresponsibilitytowardthepersonIlove.Thisresponsibilitydoesnotinvolvemydoingforyouwhatyouarecapableofdoingforyourself;nordoesitmeanthatIrunyourlifeforyou.ItdoesimplyacknowledgingthatwhatIamandwhatIdoaffectsyou,sothatIamdirectlyinvolvedinyourhappinessandyourmisery.Aloverdoeshavethecapacitytohurtorneglectthelovedone,andinthissenseIseethatloveinvolvesanacceptanceofsomeresponsibilityfortheimpactmywayofbeinghasonyou.LovemeansmakingacommitmenttothepersonIlove.Thiscommitmentdoesnotinvolvegivingupourtotalselvestoeachother;nordoesitimplythatourrelationshipisnecessarilypermanent.Itdoesinvolveawillingnesstostaywitheachotherintimesofpain,uncertainty,struggle,anddespair,aswellasintimesofcalmandenjoyment.Somemeaningsofauthenticlove全文LovemeansthatIknowtheIlove.I’mawareofthemanysidesoftheotherperson-notjustthebeautifulsidebutalsothelimitations,inconsistenciesandflaws.Ihaveanawarenessoftheother’sfeelingsandthoughts,andIexperiencesomethingofthecoreofthatperson.Icanpenetratesocialmasksandrolesandseetheotheronadeeperlevel.LovemeansthatIcancareaboutthewelfareofthepersonIlove.Totheextentthatitisgenuine,mycaringisnotsmotheringofthepersonorapossessivethinging.Onthecontrary,mycaringliberatesbothofus.IfIcareaboutyou,I’mconcernedaboutyourgrowth,andIhopeyouwillbecomeallthatyoucanbecome.Consequently,Idon’tputuproadblockstowhatyoudothatenhancesyouasaperson,eventhoughitmayresultinmydiscomfortattunes.LovemeanshavingrespectforthedignityofthepersonIlove.IfIloveyou,IcanseeyouasaseparateyousurrenderyourindentityandconformtoanimageofowhatIexpecetyoutobeforme.Icanallowyouandencourageyoutostandaloneandtobewhoyouare,andIavoidyouasanobjectorusingyouprimarilytogratifymyownneeds.LovemeanshavingaresponsibilitytowardthepersonIlove.IfIloveyou,I‘mresponsivetomostofyourmajoyneedsasaperson.Thisresponsibilitydoesnotentailmydoingforyouwhatyouarecapableofdoingforyourself,nordoesitmeanthatIrunyourlifeforyou.ItdoesimplyacknowledgingthatwhatIamandwhatIdoaffectyou,sothatIamdirecetlyinvolvedinyourhappinessandyourmisery.Aloverdoeshavethecapacitytohurtorneglectthelovedone,andinthissenseIseethatloveentailaanacceptanceofsomeresponsibilityfortheimpactmywayofbeinghasonme.LovemeansgrowthforbothmyselfandthepersonIlove.IfIloveyou,Iamgrowingasaresultofmylove.YouareastimulantformetobecomemorefullywhatImightbecome,andmylovingenhancesyourbeingaswell.Weeachgrowasaresultofcaringandbeingcaredfor,weeachshareinanenrichingexperiencethatdoesnotdetractfromourbeing.LovemeansmakingacommitmenttothepersonIlove.Thiscommitmentdoesnotentailsurrenderingourtotalselvestoeachother,nordoesitimplythattherelationshipisnecessarilypermanent.Itdoesentailawillngnesstostaywitheachotherintimesofpain,uncertainty,struggle,anddespair,aswellasintimesofcalmandenjoyment.LovemeanstrustingthepersonIlove.Iflloveyou,Itrustyouwillacceptmycaringandmyloveandthatyouwon’tdeliberatelyhurtme.Itrustthatyouwillfindmelovableandthatyouwon’tabandonme;Itrustthereciprocalnatureofourlove.Ifwetrusteachother,wearewillingtobeopentoeachotherandcanshedmasksandpretensesandrevealpurtrueselves.Lovecantolerateimperfection.Inaloverelationshiptherearetimesofboredom,timeswhenImayfeellikegivingup,timesofrealstrain,andtimesIexperienceanimpasse.Authenticlovedoesnotinplyenduringhappiness.icanstayduringrughtimes,however,becauseIcanrememberwhatwehadtogetherinthepast,andIcanpicturewhatwewillhavetogetherinourfutureifwecareenoughtofaceourproblemsandworkthemthrough.WeagreewithReverendMaierwhenhewritesthatloveisaspiritthatchangeslife.loveisawayoflifethatiscreativeandthattransforms.However,Maierdoesnotviewloveasbeingreservedforaperfectworld.”Loveismeantforourimperfectworldwherethingsgowrong.Loveismeanttobeaspiritthatworksinpainfulsituations.Loveismeanttobebringmeaningintowherenonsenseappearstoregin.”Inotherwords,lovecomesintoanimperfectworldtomakeitlivable.2008-2-1522:28回复124.243.222.*12楼Loveisfreeing.Loveisfreelygiven,notdoledoutondemand.Atthesametime,myloveforyouisnotdependentonwhetheryoufulfillmyexpectationsofyou.Authenticlovedoesnotimply“I’llloveyouwhenyoubecomeperfectorwhenyoubecomewhatIexpectyoutobecome.”Authenticloveisnotgivenwithstringattached.Thereisanunconditionalqualityaboutlove.Loveisexpansive.IfIloveyou,Iencourageyoutoreachoutanddevelopotherrelationships.Althoughourloveforeachotherandourcommitmenttoeachothermightbarcertainactionsonourparts,wearenottotallyandexlusivelyweddedtoeachother.Itisapseudolovethatcementsonepersontoanotherinsuchawaythatheorsheisnotgivenrommtogrow.CaseyandVanceburgputthisnotionwell.Thehonestevidenceofourloveisourcommitmenttoencourageinganother’sfulldevelopment.Weareinterdependentpersonalitieswhoneedoneanther’spresenceinordertofulfillourdestiny.Andyet,wearealsoseparateinviduals.Wemustcometotermswithpurstrugglesalone.LovemeanshavingawantforthepersonIlovewithouthavinganeedforthatpersoninordertobecomplet.IfIamnothingwithoutyou,thenI’mnotreallyfreetoloveyou.iloveyouandyouleave,I’llexperiencealossandbesadandlonely,butl’llstillbeabletosurveive.IfIamoverlydependentonyouformymeaningandmysurvival,thenIamnotfreeto