Badbossesoftenhavearecognizablemodusoperandi!HarryLevinson,anAmericanmanagementpsychologist,hadcataloguedproblembosses,fromthebullytotheindecisivejellyfishtothedisapprovingperfectionist.Ifyou’resufferingfromabadboss,chancesareheorshecombinesseveralofthesetraitsandcanbedealtwitheffectivelyifyouusetherightstrategy.糟糕的老板都有众所周知的伎俩!美国管理心理学家哈里·莱文森将问题老板做了个分类,从欺压下属的恃强凌弱型到缺乏主见的优柔寡断型,再到求全责备的完美主义型。如果你正被一个糟糕的老板折磨,那很可能他或她综合了以上特征,只要方法运用得体,他们就能被轻松地应付过去。TheBully.DURINGhisfirstweekonthejob,anewaccountmanageratasmalladvertisingagencyagreedtoreturnsomematerialstoaclient.Whenhementionedthisatastaffmeeting,thebossturnedbeetred,hislipsbegantoquiverandheshoutedthatthenewemployeeshouldcallhisclientandconfesshedidn’tknowanythingabouttheadvertisingbusiness,andwouldnotbereturningthematerials.欺压下属类。一家小型广告代理公司新上任的会计主管在上班的第一个星期里被获准将一些材料退还给客户。当他在一次员工会议提到这件事时,他老板开始涨红了脸,嘴唇颤抖,然后大叫着说新进的员工应该告诉他的客户,自己对广告业务一无所知,而资料也不应该退还。Overthenextfewmonths,astheaccountmanagerwatchedco-workerscowerundertheboss’sbrow-beating,herealizedthatthetyrantfedonfear.Employeeswhotriedhardesttoavoidhisireweremostlikelytocatchit.“Hewaslikeaschoolyardbully,”themanagerrecalls,“andI’veknownsincechildhoodthat,whenconfronted,mostbulliesbackdown.”在接下来的几个月里,这位会计主管看到同事们在老板的恫吓下战战兢兢地工作,(下属的)畏惧使得暴君式的老板变本加厉,越发得意。那些卖力工作以求免于被他责骂的员工却往往沦为他发火的对象。“他就像操场上的小霸王,”这位主管回忆道,“而我从小就知道,当有人针锋相对时,大多数的恃强欺弱者都会退缩。”Armedwithnew-foundconfidenceandgrowingknowledgeoftheadbusiness,hematchedboss’sbehavior.“Ifheraisedhisvoice,I’draisemine.”themanagerrecalls.Truetotype,thebossstartedtotreathimwithgrudgingrespect.Eventually,theyoungmanmoveduptheranksandwasrarelysubjectedtohisboss’soutbursts.随着广告业务知识的增加和新建立起的信心,他开始和老板顶真起来。“如果他拔高嗓门,我也跟着拔高。”主管回忆道。本色的彰显使老板对他勉勉强强表现出了尊重。最后,这个年轻人被晋升了,很少再屈从于他老板的盛怒之下。Althoughstandinguptothebullyoftenworks,itcouldmakemattersworse.MardyGrotherecommendsadifferentstrategy:reasoningwithhimafterhe’scalmeddown,“Somebosseshavehadaproblemwithtempercontrolalltheirlives,andarenotpleasedwiththisaspectoftheirpersonality,”heexplains.Wantalitmustest?Ifthebossattemptstocompensateforhisoutburstbyoverreactingandtryingto“makenice”thenextday,saysGrothe,heorshefeelsguiltyaboutyesterday’sbadbehavior.尽管和蛮横的老板针锋相对经常会奏效,但它也有可能把事情弄得更糟。马帝.葛罗斯建议采用另一种方法:在老板冷静下来以后和他讲道理,“控制不住自己的情绪是有些老板一辈子的毛病,他自己也对这方面的性格很不满意,”他解释道。想试试真假?如果老板试着为自己过激的情绪波动做些弥补并且第二天看上去“客客气气”的,葛罗斯说,那么他或她是在为自己昨天糟糕的行为表示内疚。Grothesuggestsexplainingtoyourbosshowhistemperaffectsyou.Forinstance,youmightsay.“Iknowyou’retryingtoimprovemyperformance,butyellingmakesmelessproductivebecauseitupsetsme.”葛罗斯建议向老板解释下他的情绪对你造成了怎样的影响。例如,你可以这样说。“我知道您设法让我的表现更出色,但是大吼大叫只会让我更加效率低下,因为这让我感到不安。”Whateverstrategyyouchoose,dealwiththebullyassoonaspossible,because“onceadominantsubservientrelationshipisestablished,itbecomesdifficulttounshackle.”warnsindustrialpsychologistJamesFisher.Fisheralsosuggestsconfrontingyourbossbehindcloseddoorswheneverpossible,toavoidbeingdisrespectful.Ifyourbosscontinuestobeoverbearing,trythesestrategiesfrompsychologistLeonardFelder,authorofDoesSomeoneatWorkTreatYouBadly?不管你采取哪种策略,都要尽快把恃强凌弱的老板摆平,因为“一旦建立起服从于强权的关系,就很难再有所改变。”工业心理学家詹姆斯·费希尔警告说。费希尔同样建议无论何时都尽量关着门和你的老板争辩,以免失于礼数。如果你的老板还是一如既往地专横跋扈,试试《你在工作中受委屈了吗?》一书的作者心理学家伦纳德·费尔德所提出的办法。Tokeepyourcomposurewhilethebossisscreaming,repeatacalmingphrasetoyourself,suchas“Ignoretheanger.Itisn’tyours.”在老板大声嘶叫的时候保持镇定,不断对自己重复令人心平气和的短语,比如“别人生气我不气……”Focusonahumorousaspectofyourboss’sappearance.Ifshe’sgotadoublechin,watchherfleshshakewhileshe’scomplaining.“Byrealizingthateventhemostintimidatingpeoplearevulnerable,youcanmoreeasilyrelax,”explainsFelder.注意观察你老板外表上滑稽的一面。如果她是双下巴,在她埋怨时看着她那块赘肉晃动。“当你发现即使是最善于言辞恐吓的人也很脆弱时,你就很容易变得轻松起来,”费尔德解释道。Waitforyourbosstotakeabreath,thentrythiscomebackline:“Iwanttohearwhatyou’resaying.You’vegottoslowdown.”等你老板停下来喘气的时候,试着回敬这么一句:“我想听你说了些什么。你最好放慢一下语速。”Finally,neverrelaxwithanabusiveboss,nomatterhowcharmingheorshecanbe,saysStanleyBing.“Thebullywillwormhisorherwayintoyourheartasawayofpositioningyourfaceunderhisfoot.”最后,斯坦利·宾说,绝不可对肆意谩骂的老板放松警惕,无论他或她是多么地富有魅力。“恃强凌弱者总是把他或她的做法植根到你脑中以此来把你踩在脚下。”TheWorkaholic.“SOMEBOSSESdon’tknowthedifferencebetweenworkandplay,”saysNancyAhlrichs,“vicepresidentofclientservicesataninternationalfirmthatfindsnewjobsforemployeeswhohavebeenorareabouttobedismissed.”IfyouwanttoreachthematnightoronaSaturday,justcalltheoffice.Worse,suchabossinvadesyoureverywakinghour,makingitallbutimpossibletoseparateyourownhomelifefromtheoffice.疯狂工作类。“有些老板根本分不清工作和娱乐的区别,”南希·阿瑞克说,“一家国际公司客户服务部的副总裁总是在员工已经或者即将下班时,给他们找些活干。”如果你想在深夜或者周末找到他们,只要打办公室电话就好了。更糟的是,这样的老板在你醒着的每时每刻都会来烦你,使得你根本无法将家庭生活和工作区分开来。Ahlrichsadvisessettinglimitsonyouravailability.Makesurethebossknowsyoucanbereachedinacrisis,butasamatterofpracticegohomeatasettime.Ifherespondsangrily,reassurehimthatyouwilltackleanyprojectfirstthinginthemorning.Gethimtosetthepriorities,soyoucandecidewhichtaskscanwait.阿瑞克建议给自己设定一条最大负荷线。让你老板明白无误地知道,紧急的时候你能被联系上,但是平时你都会按时回家。如果他的态度不悦,向他保证你会在第二天清早处理好计划上被最先要求做的事。让他先规定好事情的轻重缓急,这样你就可以决定哪些任务可以先放一放。Ifyouhavegoodrapportwiththeboss,saysMardyGrothe,considerdiscussingtheproblemopenly.Yourgoalistoconvincehimthatjustasheneedstomeetdeadlines,youhavep