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Hi.I’mheretotalktoyouabouttheimportanceofpraise,admirationandthankyou,andhavingitbespecificandgenuine.嗨我在这里要和大家谈谈向别人表达赞美钦佩和谢意的重要性并使它们听来真诚具体AndthewayIgotinterestedinthiswas,Inoticedinmyself,whenIwasgrowingup,anduntilaboutafewyearsago,thatIwouldwanttosaythankyoutosomeone,Iwouldwanttopraisethem,IwouldwanttotakeintheirpraiseofmeandI’djuststopit.之所以我对此感兴趣是因为我从我自己的成长中注意到几年前当我想要对某个人说声谢谢时当我想要赞美他们时当我想接受他们对我的赞扬时我却没有说出口AndIaskedmyself,why?我问我自己这是为什么Ifeltshy,Ifeltembarrassed.我感到害羞我感到尴尬Andthenmyquestionbecame,amItheonlyonewhodoesthis?接着我产生了一个问题So,Idecidedtoinvestigate.难道我是唯一一个这么做的人吗I’mfortunateenoughtoworkintherehabfacility,soIgettoseepeoplewhoarefacinglifeanddeathwithaddiction.所以我决定做些探究Andsometimesitcomesdowntosomethingassimpleas,theircorewoundistheirfatherdiedwithouteversayinghe’sproudofthem.我非常幸运的在一家康复中心工作所以我可以看到那些因为上瘾而面临生与死的人Butthen,theyhearfromallthefamilyandfriendsthatthefathertoldeverybodyeslethathewasproudofhim,buthenevertoldtheson.有时候这一切可以非常简单地归结为他们最核心的创伤来自于他们父亲到死都未说过他为他们而自豪It’sbecausehedidn’tknowthathissonneededtohearit.因为他不知道他的儿子需要听到这一切Somyquestionis,whydon’tweaskforthethingsthatweneed?因此我的问题是为什么我们不索求我们需要的东西呢Iknowagentleman,marriedfor25years,who’slongingtohearhiswifesay,“Thankyouforbeingthebreadwinner,soIcanstayhomewiththekids，”butwon’task.我认识一个结婚25年的男士渴望听到他妻子说感谢你为这个家在外赚钱这样我才能在家陪伴着孩子但他从来不去问Iknowawomanwho’sgoodatthis.我认识一个精于此道的女士She,onceaweek,meetswithherhusbandandsays,“I’dreallylikeyoutothankmeforallthesethingsIdidinthehouseandwiththekids.”每周一次她见到丈夫后会说我真的希望你为我对这个家和孩子们的付出的努力而感谢我Andhegoes，“Oh,thisisgreat,thisisgreat.”他会应和到哦真是太棒了Andpraisereallydoeshavetobegenuine,butshetakesresponsibilityforthat.赞扬别人一定要真诚但她对赞美承担了责任Andafriendofmine,April,whoI’vehadsincekindergarten,shethanksherchildrenfordoingtheirchores.一个从我上幼儿园就一直是朋友的叫April的人她会感谢她的孩子们做了家务Andshesaid,“Whywouldn’tIthankit,eventhoughthey’resupposedtodoit?”她说为什么我不表示感谢呢即使他们本来就要做那些事情So,thequestionis,whywasIblockingit?因此我的问题是为什么我不说呢Whywereotherpeopleblockingit?为什么其他人不说呢WhycanIsay,“I’lltakemysteakmediumrare,Ineedsizesixshoes，”butIwon’tsay,“Wouldyoupraisemethisway?”为什么我能说我要一块中等厚度的牛排我需要6号尺寸的鞋子但我却不能说你可以赞扬我吗Andit’sbecauseI’mgivingyoucriticaldataaboutme.因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享I’mtellingyouwhereI’minsecure.会让我告诉了你我内心的不安I’mtellingyouwhereIneedyourhelp.会让你认为我需要你的帮助AndI’mtreatingyou,myinnercircle,likeyou’retheenemy.虽然你是我最贴心的人我却把你当作是敌人Becausewhatcanyoudowiththatdata?你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢Youcouldneglectme.你可以忽视我Youcouldabuseit.你可以滥用它Oryoucouldactuallymeetmyneed.或者你可以满足我的要求AndItookmybikeintothebikestore--Ilovethis--samebike,andthey’ddosomethingcalled“truing”thewheels.我把我的自行车拿到车行我喜欢这么做同样的自行车他们会对车轮做整形Theguysaid,“Youknow,whenyoutruethewheels,it’sgoingtomakethebikesomuchbetter.”那里的人说当你对车轮做整形时它会使自行车变成更好Igetthesamebikebake,andthey’vetakenallthelittlewarpsoutofthosesamewheelsI’vehadfortwoandahalfyears,andmybikeislikenew.我把这辆自行车拿回来他们把有小小弯曲的铁丝从轮子上拿走这辆车我用了2年半现在还像新的一样So,I’mgoingtochallengeallofyou.所以我要问在场的所有人Iwantyoutotrueyourwheels：behonestaboutthepraisethatyouneedtohear.我希望你们把你们的车轮整形一下真诚面对你们想听到的赞美Whatdoyouneedtohear?Gohometoyourwife--goaskher,whatdoessheneed?你们想听到什么呢回家问问你们的妻子她想听到什么Gohometoyourhusband--whatdoesheneed?回家问问你们的丈夫他想听到什么Gohomeandaskthosequestions,andthenhelpthepeoplearoundyou.回家问问这些问题并帮助身边的人实现他们Andit’ssimple.非常简单Andwhyshouldwecareaboutthis?为什么要关心这个呢Wetalkaboutworldpeace.我们谈论世界和平Howcanwehaveworldpeacewithdifferentcultures,differentlanguages?我们怎么用不同的文化不同的语言来保持世界和平Ithinkitstartshouseholdbyhousehold,underthesameroof.我想要从每个小家庭开始So,let’smakeitrightinourownbackyard.所以让我们在家里就把这件事情做好AndIwanttothankallofyouintheaudienceforbeinggreathusbands,greatmothers,friends,daughters,sons.我想要感谢所有在这里的人们因为你们是好丈夫好母亲好伙伴好女儿和好儿子Andmaybesomebody’sneversaidthattoyou,butyou’vedonereally,reallygoodjob.或许有些人从没跟你们说过但你们已经做得非常非常的出色了Andthankyouforbeinghere,justshowingupand感谢你们来到这里向世界显示着你changingtheworldwithyourideas.们的智慧并用它们改变着世界Thankyou.谢谢