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学大教育专修学校江宁校区英语组书面表达第1页共4页第三节图画式作文升格指导Wecanseefromthepicture,aboyiswashingclothes,listenmusic,andthetapsarenotclosed①.However,onthewall,thereisasign:pleasesavewater.Weoftenseethiskindofthing.Asthedevelopmentofoursociety,peoplearehavingbetterandbetterlife②.Butwastewaterisbecomingaseriousproblem③.Manypeopledon’tknowwaterisrare.Alotofpeopleintheworldarelack④.Andalsomanyfactoriespourdirtywater学大教育专修学校江宁校区英语组书面表达第2页共4页intotheriver.Ithink,weshouldtakemeasurestosavewater.Don’twastewater,anddon’tpollutetherivers,too⑤.Ifwedon’tsaveeverydropofwater,thelastdropofwaterwouldbeourtear.这篇习作能从整体上把握写作要求，画面要点没遗漏，也能观察出画面的内在含义。写作时一定的条理性，按照图画作文写作的三步骤来写，即：描述画面、说明原因、采取措施。主要问题在于语言基本功不扎实，语法、词汇用法错误较多，字数也偏少。因此得分在13分左右.①句中出现语法、词汇用法错误，listen后面应该to；washing和listening都应用进行时。建议改为Aswecanseefromthepicture,aboyiswashingclothes,andlisteningtomusic,withthetapsrunning.②句中as是连词，而thedevelopmentofoursociety不是句子，改为Withthedevelopmentofoursociety,peoplearehavingbetterandbetterlife.③句中动词做主语应该用-ing形式，可以改为Butwastingwaterisbecomingaseriousproblem。4句中lack用作动词时，句子应为Alotofpeopleintheworldlackwater.5句中too改为either。Herecomesapicture:aboy,whoiswashinghisclothes,listenstothemusicwithtwotapsrunning.Whatshocksusisthatjustonthewall,anobvioussignsays:pleasesavewater.However,thewaterstillkeepsrunning.Thisisnotanunusualphenomenon.Wecanseeitinourdailylife.Withtherapiddevelopmentofoursociety,people’slifeisgettingbetterandbetter.However,theextravagantlifestyleisbecomingaseriousproblem.Manypeopledon’trealizethelackofwater,andsomeevendon'tknowthatinmanyplacesoftheworld,waterisrare.What’sworse,withoutconsideringthepollutionofwater,somefactoriespourdirtywaterintotheriver,causingtheshortageoffreshwater.Asastudent,itistimewetookusefulmeasurestosaveourlimitedfreshwater.Withoutwater,therewouldbenolife.Don’tmakeitcometruethatthelastdropofwaterisourtear.1、本文照描述图片、分析现象、提出措施的步骤来写，显得结构严谨、条理清晰。学大教育专修学校江宁校区英语组书面表达第3页共4页2、本文的一大亮点是：句式变化多端不单一，高级句式层出，比如：aboy,whoiswashinghisclothes,listenstothemusicwithtwotapsrunning包含非限制性定于从句和with复合结构；Whatshocksusisthatjustonthewall,anobvioussignsays:pleasesavewater.此句为主语从句；What’sworse,withoutconsideringthepollutionofwater,somefactoriespourdirtywaterintotheriver,causingtheshortageoffreshwater.此句中两次出现非谓语结构；Asastudent,itistimewetookusefulmeasurestosaveourlimitedfreshwater.itistimethat是虚拟语气的高级句式，能准确运用，很好；Don’tmakeitcometruethatthelastdropofwaterisourtear.此句中it为形式宾语。thelastdropofwaterisourtear为比喻，非常形象，令人感觉触目惊心，更觉得保护水资源的重要。【应考对策】图画式作文往往所含信息限，学生要充分利用图画前面或后面的说明文字，它们可以帮助你更好地理解画面；然后，根据画面内容描述画面，要点不能遗漏；接着，依据画面所反映的问题分析原因，提出解决问题的方案。当然在写作过程中，要尽量使用一些高级的词汇和变化的句式，并使用一定的连接词，使得行文流畅、优美。【答后总结】“悟到”才是真正的得到。通过上面的升格训练，你能总结出高分作文的写作技巧吗？请你认真总结。观察下面的一幅图画，结合你身边的事例，谈谈你对培养孩子成才的看法。学大教育专修学校江宁校区英语组书面表达第4页共4页【范文】DreamandRealityNowadays,thereisanincreasingtendencyforparentstodesignthefuturefortheirchildren.Regardlessofthechildren'sinterest,someparentswantthemtoattendallkindsofextraclasses,layingaheavyburdenontheirshoulders.Asaresult,thechildrenalmosthavenotimetoplay.AtypicalcaseismyneighborMrandMrsWang.Theywanttheirchildtobeanartist.TheychooseamusicclassonSaturdayandapaintingclassonSundayforthechild.Infact,thechildhasnointerestatall.Thechildiskeptbusyallday.Afterafewyears,theireffortsareinvain.Ithinkparentsshouldlettheirchildrendeveloptheirinterestsbythemselves,andgivethemenoughtimeandspacetolearnwhattheywanttolearn.Childrenshouldbeencouragedtogetclosetonature.Weshouldhelpchildrenturntheirdreamsofenjoyingthebeautyofnatureintorealities.Onlyinthiswaycanchildrenhaveahappyandenjoyablelife.