Unit9HowIFoundMyVoiceJamesEarlJones1TodayIamknownformyvoiceasmuchasformyacting.IthasbeenmygoodfortunetoreceivejobssuchasthespeakingroleofDarthVaderinGeorgeLucas’sStarWarstrilogyandthevoice-overannouncerforCNNcabletelevision.IalsonarratedAaronCopland’sLincolnPortraitonacompactdiscIrecordedwiththeSeattleSymphony.PerhapsmygreatesthonorcamewhenIwasaskedtoreadtheNewTestamentontape.2Butittookalongtimetobelievesuchgoodthingscouldhappentome.WhenIwasayoungsterIstutteredsobadlyIwascompletelyunabletospeakinpublic.3SinceIwaseightI’dhadtroublespeaking.ItwassobadthatwheneverIstoodupinclasstoread,theotherkidssnickeredandlaughed.Ialwayssatdown,myfaceburningwithshame.4I’mnotsurewhatcausedmystuttering.Perhapsitwasanemotionalproblem.IwasborninArkabutla,Mississippi,andwhenIwasaboutfive,ImovedtolivewithmygrandparentsontheirfarmnearDublininnorthernMichigan.Itwastraumaticmovingfromthewarm,easywaysofcatfishcountrytotheharshclimateofthenorth,wherepeopleseemedsodifferent.5Fortunately,mygranddaddywasagentleman,afarmerwhotaughtmetolovetheland.Hewasshortandhehadaprodigiousamountofenergy.Heevenbuiltachurchtopleasegrandmother,aferventworshiperoftheLord.Allsortsofpeoplewereinvitedtoourlittlechurch;white,blackandAmericanIndiancametogetherinanondenominationalfellowship.Granddad’sIrishheritagecameoutinhisloveforlanguage;duringtheweekheused“everydaytalk”,butonSundayhespokeonlythefinestEnglish.6AsmuchasIadmiredhisfluency,Icouldn’tcomeclosetoit.IfinallyquitSundayschoolandchurch,notwantingtobehumiliatedanymore.Allthroughmygradeschoolyears,theonlywaytheteachercouldassessmyprogresswasformetowritedowneverythingIhadlearned.7Oh,Icouldtalk,allright.Ourfarmanimalsknewthat.Ifounditeasytocallthepigs,tellthedogstoroundupthecows,andventmyfeelingstoFanny,thehorsewhosebigbrowneyesandliftedearsseemedtoexpressinterestinallIsaid.ButwhenvisitorscameandIwasaskedtosayhello,Icouldonlystand,poundmyfeet,andgritmyteeth.ThatawfulfeelingofmyvoicebeingtrappedgotworseasIgrewolder.8ThenwhenIwas14,ProfessorDonaldCrouchcametoourschool.HewasaretiredcollegeprofessorwhohadsettledinnearbyBrethren,aMennonitecommunity.WhenheheardthatouragriculturalhighwasteachingChaucer,Shakespeareandotherclassics,hecouldn’tstandnotbeingapartofourschool.SohelefthisretreattoteachusEnglish,historyandLatin.9DonaldCrouchwasatall,leanmanwithgrayhair;Englishwashisfavoritesubject,poetrywashisdeepestlove.He’sbeenanassociateofRobertFrost.Heheldabookofpoemsasifitwereadiamondnecklace,turningpagesasifuncoveringtreasures.Hememorizedapoemeveryday,explainingthatifheeverlosthiseyesighthewouldstillbeabletosavorallthatbeauty.10WhenhelearnedthatInotonlylovedpoetrybutwaswritingit,wefoundakinship.Therewas,however,onedifficultybetweenus.ProfessorCrouch(wealwayscalledhimthat)couldnotstandthefactIrefusedtoreadmypoemstotheclass.11“Jim,poetryismeanttobereadaloud,justlikesermons,”hepressed.“Youshouldbeabletospeakthosebeautifulwords.”12Ishookmyheadandturnedaway.13Thenhetrickedme.Ilaboredlongandhardonapoem,andafterhandingitinIwaitedexpectantlyforhiscritique.Itdidn’tcome.Instead,onedayasthestudentsassembled,hechallengedme.“Jim,Idon’tthinkyouwrotethis.”14Istaredathimindisbelief.“Why,”Istarted,angerfloodingme,“ofcourseIdid!”15“Well,then,”hesaid,“you’vegottoproveitbygettingupandrecitingitfrommemory.”16Bythentheotherstudentshadsettledattheirdesks.Helookedatmemeaningfullyandnodded.Withkneesshaking,Iwalkedupbeforemypeers.17“Jimwillrecitehislatestpoem,”announcedProfessorCrouch.18ForamomentIstoodbreathless.Icouldseesmirksandwrysmilesonsomefaces.ThenIbegan.Andkeptgoing.Irecitedmypoemallthewaythroughwithouthesitationorfault!Istoodamazedandfloatedbacktomydeskinadaze,amidwildapplause.19Afterward,ProfessorCrouchcongratulatedme.“Aha,”hesaid.“Nowwehavesomethinghere.Notonlywillyouhavetowritemorepoetryandreaditaloudtoknowhowgooditfeels,butI’msurethatyouwillwanttoreadotherwriters’poetrybeforetheclass.”20Iwasdubiousaboutthat,butsaidI’dtry.21SoonIbegantodiscoversomethingotherstutterersknow.Mosthavenoproblemsingingbecausethelyrics’rhythmicpatternflowsbyitself.Ifoundthesamecadencesinpoetry,andbeforelongmyfellowstudentsactuallylookedforwardtohearingmerecite.IlovedtherollingbeatofTheSongofHiawatha,especiallysinceIhadIndianbloodinmyveins.22IdiscoveredIdidhaveavoice,astrongone.UnderProfessorCrouch’stutelage,Ienteredoratoricalcontestsanddebates.Heneverpushedanythingatmeagain;hejustwantedallhisstudentstowakeup.23Asmystutteringdisappeared,Ibegandreamingofbecominganactor,likemyfather,whowasthenperforminginNewYorkCity.Nooneinmyfamilyhadevergonetocollege.ButencouragedbyProfessorCrouch,ItookexamsandwonascholarshiptotheUniversityofMichigan.24ThereIenteredthedramadepartmentandaftergraduationfulfilledmyROTCresponsibilitybyservingwiththeArmy’sColdWeatherTrainingCommandonmountainmaneuversinColorado.25Later,ontheGIBill,IsignedupwiththeAmericanTheaterWinginNewYorkandsupportedmyselfbetweenrolesbysweepingfloorsofoff-Broadwaystages.In1962IearnedanObieformyroleinanoff-BroadwayproductionofOthello,andhavebeenanactoreversince.26Meanwhile,Ialwayskeptintouchwithmyoldprofesso