哈佛大学幸福课第十课中英文讲义

哈佛大学幸福课第十课中英文讲义早上好今天要讲的是变化Hi,goodmorning!Sotoday'slectureisaboutchange.今天很多事都会发生变化Andthingsaregoingtochangetoday.我们之间的关系会发生变化敬请关注啊Ourrelationshipisgoingtochangetoday.Sostaytuned.上节课Lasttime,上节课结束的时候我们谈到很多种不同变化lasttimeweendedbytalkingaboutthedifferentkindsofchange第一种方式是渐进式的Thefirstapproach—thegradualapproach,好像滴水穿石likewaterwearingdownstone,要花时间的一点一点慢慢的chippingawaygraduallyslowlytakingourtime.第二种方式是突发式的Thesecondapproach—theacutechange,好像用大锤开山劈石thesledgehammerbreakingstonecreatinganewpathway,凿出一条路一个隧道anewchannel.对于这两种变化或是所有形式的变化Theimportantthingtokeepinmindwithbothformsofchanges,必须要注意的是withallformofchange,我们讲的重点是要将变化持续下去lastingchangethatis,whichiswhatweareabout.而不是突然一变之后又恢复原状Notjustthespikeandthereturntobaselevel.因此要注意的是Thethingtokeepinmindaboutchange变化既不是药到病除的灵丹妙药isthatneitherisquick-fix.即便当我们举起大锤Evenwhenwepickupthatsledgehammer,就是这举起来的动作evenwhenwepickitup,也需要我们在之前做很多准备的功夫weneedtodoalotofworkbeforethepreparation.因此举例来说渐进式的变化Soforexample,gradualchange,包括每天都做感恩练习slowchangewouldbedoingthegratitudeexerciseeveryday,慢慢成为一个更容易找寻美好的人slowlybecomingmoreandmoreofabenefitfinder,逐渐的看到更多积极的事物graduallylookingmoreatthepositive,一点一点的构建起新的神经通路creatinganewneuralpathwayneuronbyneuron.还记得我们之前说过的两个重要概念Rememberneuroplasticityandneurogenesis—神经塑性和新生神经元吗?twoveryimportantconcepts因为通过了解和理解我们大脑的变化becausejustbyknowingbyunderstandingthatourbrainchanges我们自身也将更容易产生变化thatinandofitselfmakesusmorelikelytochange.CarolDweck做过相关研究AndthisisworkdonebyCarolDweck,我们之后谈到完美主义的时候还会提到她whomI'lldiscussinfuturecourseswhenwediscussperfectionism另外大锤的例子和探索经验是一回事AndthenthesledgehammerexampleisliketheEurekaexperience,真知灼见不是凭空产生的而是经过thegreatinsightthatdoesn'tcomeinavacuum.长时间准备后千锤百炼而得来的Itcomesafteralotofhardworkafteralotofpreparation.大家都知道所谓的灵感来自于99%的汗水Youknowthe99%ofperspirationthatleadstothatinspiration.所以说没有灵丹妙药而且Sonoquick-fix.Andthebelieveinquick-fix,正是那种对灵丹妙药的笃信和渴求theexpectationofthequick-fixthatisoneofthereasons导致了今天抑郁症如此高发频发whylevelsofthedepressionaresohightoday,因为大家都很郁闷很失望becausepeoplearefrustrated.Theyaredisappointed.发现灵丹妙药不管用的时候Theythinkthere'ssomethingwrongwiththem就觉得是自己出了问题whentheydon'tsucceedinthequick-fix.我在书里也写了很可能他们认为Buttheyhavejust,Ijustwriteinthebookthatit'spossible.如果做完这五件事我的人生就会美满了IfIdothesefivethings,I'dbehappyfortherestofmylife.结果五件事做完我却没有变得更快乐AndIdothesefivethings.AndI'mnothappier.于是我就开始怀疑自己AndIbegintoquestionmyself.没有灵丹妙药任何事都需要时间Noquick-fix.Ittakestime.没有所谓什么幸福生活五步走Nofiveeasystepstohappiness.在我们讲变化过程之前Beforewegotothechangeprocess,我们先要理清一些概念thereareafewthingsweneedtounderstand.首先我们要问的是Thefirstthingtounderstandisthis.我或者你真的想要改变吗?DoI,doyoureallywanttochange?我是不是真的想要改善我的个性DoIreallywanttoimprovecertainthingsinmypersonality…或者我不喜欢的性格或行为thingsthat…orcharacter,orbehavior,thingsthatIdon'tlike.这不是一个无关紧要的问题Andit'snotatrivialquestion.也不是象征性地问自己一下Itisnotarhetoricalquestion因为表面上我们可能会说当然了becauseveryoftenontheconsciouslevelwemaybesayingyes,但是潜意识里却有东西在阻挠我们butonthesubconsciouslevelsomethingisstoppingus.我给大家举个例子吧Letmeshowyouanexample.早在80年代的时候LangerSothisisthestudydonebyLangerand,和Thompson曾做过一个实验andThompsonbackinthe80s.这个实验是这样的Andhereiswhattheydid.他们找来一些学生或参与实验的人Theybroughtstudentsinorparticipantsin.然后问这些人Andtheyaskedthem64他们想不想要摆脱自己性格的某个方面whethertheywantedtogetridofcertaincharacteristics,比如说古板或者容易轻信别人likerigidity,orbeinggullible,orgrimness.或是冷酷他们问这些人Andtheyaskedthem想不想要摆脱这些性格whethertheywantedtogetridofthesecharacteristics想不想在这方面变的更好andwhethertheysucceededinbecomingbetterinthisarea.是不是真的能改变自己即是说Wereyouabletointroducechange,如果改变对于你来说真的很重要sowereyouabletoactuallybecomelessrigid,那你能不能最终变得不那么古板ifthiswasimportantforyoutochange,不那么容易轻信别人不那么冷酷orlessgullible,orlessgrim?这就是他们最初问的两个问题Sothisisthefirsttwoquestionsthattheyasked.想不想改善想不想改变Didyouwanttoimproveit?Didyouwannachangethis?第二个问题能不能改变Thesecondquestion–wereyousuccessful?然后在他们问了这些问题之后Andthenaftertheyansweredthesequestions,77实验还有第二个阶段在这个阶段therewasthesecondpartofthestudy他们让这些人去评估wheretheyaskedthemtoevaluatethepositive,评估下列正面性格比如the,thefollowingpositivecharacteristics.言行一致对于你来说是否重要Consistency,isitimportanttoyou?值得信赖是不是重要Isitimportanttoyoutobetrustworthy?以及被认为是一个严肃认真的人Andhowimportantitisforyou对于你来说有多重要tobeandtobeperceivedasaseriousperson?下面我们来说这个实验的有趣的结果Andhereistheinterestingfindingofthisresearch.所有给这些正面性格打高分的人Thoseindividualswhoratedthepositivetraits,这些黄色的是正面性格theonesinyellow,whoratedthemhigh,认为这些性格很重要的人aspersonallyimportanttothem反而比较不容易去改变自己的负面性格werelesslikelytochangethenegatives.大家明白这其中的奥妙么?Doyouunderstandimplicationsofthestudy?也就是说比如Sowhatissayingisthat…我想要摆脱古板的个性Let'ssayIdowannagetridofrigidity.我不喜欢自己那么古板Idon'tlikebeingrigid.但是与此同时Howeveratthesametime言行一致在我看来是非常重要的品格consistencyisaveryimportantvaluetome.我反而不容易去改变自己的古板I'mlesslikelytochangemyrigidity因为在我的意识里它们是相互关联的becausetheyareassociatedinmymind.对我不想要古板下去了Andyeah,Idon'twanttoberigid.同时我潜意识里有个小人却在说Butatthesametimesubconscioustalkinghere.我想要言行一致Iwanttobeconsistent.别摆脱古板因为我把两者结合起来了Don'tletgoofthisrigiditybecauseIcouplethem,我把两者联系在一起了Iassociatethemtogether.因此不想舍其一Notwantingtogetridofone因为我不想把婴儿和洗澡水一起倒掉becauseIdon'twantthebabyoutwiththebathwater.对于我来说两者是紧密相连的Andtometheya