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Scene:HospitalJay:Doweknowanything?Mitchell:Oh,no,they’reintherenowwiththedoctor.We’relucky,though–theparamedicssaiditcould’vebeenalotworse.Jay:Mygod,howdidthisevenhappen?Scene:AfewhoursearlieratClaire&Phil’shousePhil:Thereheis!Bigday’scomingup.Whatdoyouwantforyourbirthday,biggod?Luke:It’sokay;I’mgood.Phil:Comeon.Thesky’sthelimit.Dreambig,myboy.Luke:Well,IguessIcoulduseabelt.Claire:Abelt?Luke:Yeah,you’reright.Idon’tneedit.Theextensioncordworksprettygood.(Commentary)Phil:Everyyear,Luke’sbirthdayfallsrightaroundThanksgiving,andsoitgetslostintheholidayshuffle.Claire:Yeah,oneyearweforgotcompletelyandwehadtoimproviseacakeofstuffing.Phil:Which,bytheway,hewasfinewith.He’soneofthosekids:yougethimagiftandallhewanttodoisplaywiththebox.Claire:Yeah,oneyearweactuallyjust…gothimabox.Areallynicebox.Phil:Andwemadethemistakeofputtingitinagiftbag.Claire:Soheplayedwiththegiftbag.Phil:…Wecan’tgetitright.Claire:No.(Cutbacktoscene)Phil:Ifeelterrible.Claire:Oh…Phil:We’vegottodosomething.Claire:Yeah…Um,well,youknowthefamilyisgonnabetogetherforThanksgivingforthefirsttimeinI-don’t-even-know-how-long,so…Phil:Iamsowithyou.WeshouldblowthisoutandthrowLukethebestbirthdaypartyofalltime.Claire:Yes!Yes,we’llorderawholebunchofpizzasand,andthensetupanartsandcraftstable.Phil:Awhat?Claire:Y-yeah,acraftstable!Youknow,everybody…gathersaroundandtheymakestuffandthenbam!They’vegottheirownpartyfavour.Phil:(snorts)Sorry,Ifellasleepwhileyouweredescribingthemostboringpartyever.(getshitbyClaire)Ow!Scene:Cameron&Mitchell’shouseCameron:Seeyouinafewhours.Phil:Yeah.Thanksagainkaraokemachine.I’llgiveitbacktoyourightaftertheparty.Cameron:That’llbegreat.Mitchell:(whisperstoPhil)Pleasedon’t.Ibegyou.Don’t…don’tbringitback.Phil:(whispersback)Oh.Cameron:HeyPhil.Are,uh,yougettingaclownfortoday?Phil:Oh…no.Luke,uh,Luke’snotmuchofaclownfan.Cameron:…Really?Phil:Yeah,heneverlikedthem.Cameron:Hasheeverseenagoodone?Phil:Has…hasanyone?Really,so…thanksagain.Cameron:Seeyoulater.(afterPhilisgone)Noclown?No…noclown?Mitchell:Letitgo.Cameron:Whothrowsapartywithoutaclown?Mitchell:Sincethelater30s,I’dsaymostpeople.Cameron:Youknowwhat?Wehaven’tgottenLukeapresentyet.Maybeaclowncouldbeourpresent.Mitchell:Cameron,Cameron…IfPhilandClairewantedtogetLukeaclown,theywouldhave.Butthisisnotourparty.Cameron:But-Mitchell:Thisisnot.Our.Party.Cameron:ButIju…fine.Whatwouldyousuggestwegethimthen?Mitchell:Mhhh,gethimagiftcard.Cameron:…Agiftcard?Mitchell:Yeah.Cameron:Whohurtyou?Scene:Jay&Gloria’shouseJay:HeyGloria,yougotanyideahowtowraponeofthesethings?Gloria:Isthatacrossbow?Jay:Yeah.AmIthegreatestgrandpaintheworldorwhat?Gloria:Wecan’tgiveLukeacrossbow.Hepokeshimselfintheeyeeverytimeheusesastraw.Jay:Areyoukidding?IusedtohaveonewhenIwashisage.MydadusedtogivemeaquarterforeverycrowIbagged.Gloria:AndIusedtohaveamachete.Buttimeshavechanged.Jay:He’llbefine.I’llteachhimhowtouseit.(Mannyenters)Heypal.How’sitgoing?Manny:AmIcharming?Jay:Ohboy…Gloria:Ofcourseyou’recharming!Whosaidyouwerenotcharming?Manny:Noone.ButthereisagirlatmyschoolandIwanthertolikeme.Ineedyouradvice,Jay.Jay:Really?Manny:She’sgonnabeatLuke’sparty.Jay:Well,I’m…alittlethrown.Imean,youdon’tusuallycometomeforadvice.Manny:Well,thisisoneareainwhichyou’vedoneprettywell.Gloria:Hehasapoint.Manny:I’vetriedeverythingtogetherattention:openingdoors,havinghermilksentoverinthecafeteria…butnothing’sworked.Jay:Here’sthedeal:girl’sdon’tgoforallthatromanticstuff.Theygoforpowerandsuccess,andsineyoudon’thaveeitheroneofthosethings,you’regonnabethefunnyguy.Scene:Claire&Phil’shousePhil:No,no.No,no,no.Iwantthemostdangerousreptileyou’vegot.Tanya:Ihaveaniguanathat,uh,eatscrickets.Phil:Thatwouldbescaryifitwasabirthdaypartyforcrickets.Seriously.JungleTanya,Ineedyoutostepitupanotch.Isthereanythingthatscaresthecoocoooutofyou?Tanya:Um,notreally.Idohaveabeardeddragon.Phil:Oooh.Doesit-Tanya:No,itdoesnotbreathefire.Phil:Wellthen,we’rebacktosquareone,aren’twe?(Commentary)Cameron:Icouldn’tgetLukeoutofmymind.IknowImadeapromisetoMitchell,but…somethingsarebiggerthanpromises.Fizbowouldbeatthatparty.(looksinmirrorafterapplyingmake-up)Hello,oldfriend.Scene:HospitalHayley:Itallhappenedsofast.Jay:IkeepthinkingthereissomethingIcould’vedone.Mitchell:No,don’tblameyourself.Whocould’vepossiblyseenthatcoming?Scene:AfewhoursearlieroutsideClaire&Phil’shouseClaire:Sweety,that’sarockwall.Isthatevensafe?Ohmygod.Phil:Honey,relax.(toguysettinguprockwall)Hey,hasanyoneevergottenhurtononeofthesethings?Guy:Idunno,man.It’smyfirstday.Phil:See?Theywouldn’tletthenewguydoitifitwas-Claire:Thatdidnotmakemefeelbetter.Phil:Don’tworry.Isigned,like,ahundredreleases.Claire:Whendidwedecideallthis?I…Ithinkit’stoomuch.Phil:See,Iknewyou’dsaythat.That’swhyIdidn’ttellyou,sojustrelax.Grabasnowcone.Claire:There’sasnowconemachine?Phil:Yeah.Hayley:Mom,justsoyouknow,Dylancan’thavemayonnaise.Claire:That’srandom.Whyareyoutellingmethat?Hayley:Uh,’causehe’scomingtotheparty?Claire;Isthatabsolutelynecessary?Hayley:W-Alex:Yes,becauseshecan’tgotenminuteswithouutherboyfriend’stongueinhermouth.It’slikehe’sfeedingababybird.Hayley:Mhhh,