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1BostonLegal…There’sFire!Season2,Episode17WrittenbyDavidE.Kelley2005DavidE.KellyProductions.AllRightsReserved.Broadcast:February28,2006TranscribedbyImamessDennyCraneisinfrontofamirrortryingtotiehisbowtie.Unsuccessfully.DennyCrane:Ah!Frustrated.Alan!Helpmewithmytie.AlanShore:Certainly.FacingDennyheattemptstotiethetie.Ican’tdoitthisway,turnaround.Hereachesfrombehind,andashe’slookinginthemirror,hetiesDenny’stie.DennyCrane:Ahhh.IwishyouandIweregettingmarried.That’syouandI.Bothofus.Toothers.I’mnotgay.AlanShore:IheardyouthefirstFreudianslip.DennyCrane:Well,Alan,I,Idon’twannaleaveyou.AlanShore:Nodoubtthere’llbesomeadjusting.Butyou’renotlosinganAlan,you’regainingaBev.Thegirlofyourrecentdreams.DennyCrane:Alan,you’remybestfriend.Ifyouwantyoucandreamabouthertoo.AlanShore:Denny,you’regeneroustoafault.Thereyouare.DennyCrane:Well!DennyCrane.Gettinghitched.AlanShore:Indeed.Wesee,butdon’thearDennyandBeverlyBridgesay,“Ido.”DennyplacesaringonBev’sfinger.Theykiss.Announcer:Ladiesandgentlemen!Wouldyoupleaseriseandwelcome,forthefirsttimeashusbandandwife,MrandMrsDennyCrane!EverbodyapplaudsasDennyandBevcomeouttothedancefloorandstartdancing.ShirleySchmidt:Whiteroses,gold-leafedcake,Bev’sboobsswimmingoutofherweddingdress.BradChase:Whosaidmoneycan’tbuytastelessness?AlanShore:IthinkBevandDennydidalovelyjob.PaulLewiston:Elevenmarriagesbetweenthetwoofthem,they’vehadplentyofpractice.DeniseBauer:Willyoulistentoyoupeople?Canwenot,forjustonemoment,appreciatethesimplicityandtimelessnessoftwosoulsinlove?TheentirecrowdishorrifiedtoseeDennyandBevgrabbingeachother’sasses,grindingintooneanotherasthoughtherestoftheworlddidn’texist.Weddingreception–laterthatevening.Thebandplaysaspeoplemingleanddance.Horsd’ouversarepassedaround.AlanstepsupbesidePaulLewiston.AlanShore:Congratulations.IsawyouweretheluckyonewhocaughtBev’sgarter.PaulLewiston:Yes.I’mgoingforafullbatteryoftestsfirstthinginthemorning.DennyandBevarecooingatoneanother.DennyCrane:Iloveyou.BeverlyBridge:Iloveyoumore.DennyCrane:Iloveyoumoremore.Yes,it’ssickening.Troy,thirty,well-groomedandofficious,approachesDennyandBev.Troy:Mainlander!BeverlyBridge:Oh,myangel.Denny,thismydearfriend,Troy.DennyCrane:Friendly,shakes.Troy.Troy:Denny,Mahalo,andcongrats.DennyCrane:Thankyou.BeverlyBridge:TroylivesontheBigIsland.DennyCrane::Ohyeah?We’llhavetocomeandlookyouup!Onourhoneymoon.Ifthere’stime.Troy:Oh,excellent,excellent.I’vegotsomenewlistingsyoutwoaregoingtofallfor.Dennyhasacuriouslook.BeverlyBridge:Ah,Troy’saRealtor.He’sbeenkeepinganeyeoutonhousesforus.DennyCrane:Surprised.Ididn’tknowwewereinthemarketforasecondhome.2BeverlyBridge:Oh,ho,ho.Actually,Darling,whenyouseetheKonaCoast,youmayevenbethinkingoffirsthomes.DennyCrane:Goodnatured.WhatamIsupposedtodo,beammyselftoBostoneverymorning?Dennygivesafriendlychuckleathisownjoke,butsomething’samisshere.BeverlyBridge:Wouldyouexcuseus,Troy?Thankyou.SheescortsDennytoamoreprivatearea.Now,Honey,Ijustwantyoutohumormeandmywildnotions.Iwannatoputthisthoughtinyourhead.Andit’sonlyathought,that’sall,but,nowthatwe’restartingthisnewchapterinourlives,whatdoyousaywereally…doit?DennyCrane:Retire?BeverlyBridge:No,that’sanoldperson’sword.I’mtalkingaboutnewbeginnings.DennyCrane:ButBev,youknowI’mtherainmakeratthefirm.MyclientswannatoknowthatDennyCraneistakingcareoftheirbusiness.BeverlyBridge:AndBevwantstoknowthatDennyCraneistakingcareof…well,DennyCrane.Andwehavelotsoftimeforthesethoughts.Tonight’sallfunandgames.Right?BevkissesDennyandmovesoff,leavingDennywithanodd,uneasyfeeling.Thisnighthastakenaturnhe’snotcomfortablewith.AfemaleserverapproachesDenny.She’scarryingatrayoffilledchampagneglasses.Femaleserver:Hi.Smiles,flirty.Nicenight.DennyCrane:Abeat,then.Suddenlyitis.BevwalksuptoAlan,Denise,BradChase,ShirleyandPaul’stableinarestaurant.BeverlyBridge:HasanyoneseenDenny?It’stimeforourtoast.BradChase:Oh,lasttimeIsawhimhewasupneartheCoatCheckroom.Bevchokesonherdrink.Everybodyisstartled.TheygetupandwalkovertothebalconywhichoverlookstheCoatCheckroom.Thereismovementunderoneofthecoats.BeverlyBridge:Denny?DennyCrane:Helooksoutfromunderthecoat.Isittimetocutthecake.Nosignofremorseinhisvoice.Brad,Shirley,PaulandDennyareinDenny’sofficeatCrane,PooleandSchmidt.PaulLewiston:Ofcourse,thereisnoprenup.BradChase:Actually,Dennysignedone.ShirleySchmidt:HejustneglectedtogetBevtosignedit..DennyCrane:Ithoughtitwasalovelyreception.Inevergottothecake.Itlookedfantastic.Anyofyoutryit?Itwassupposedtobemarblewithalittlefudge…PaulLewiston:Shutup!Just,shutup!Whileyousithereprattlingaboutcakefillings,Bevhashiredanarmyoflawyerstogutthisfirm.ShirleySchmidt:Shewon’tgetfar,Paul.It’sastraightforwardannulment.BradChase:Theywereonlymarriedforthreehours.Legallytheyneverhadtheopportunitytoconsummatethemarriageaftertheceremony.DennyCrane:Ohyes,wedid.PaulLewiston:Youhadsexwithanotherwomanandyourwifeinthethreehoursyouweremarried?DennyCrane:Itwasmyspecialday.Ihadtakenmylittlebluepill.ShirleySchmidt:Nocureforcancer,butwegotthreepillsforthat!BradChase:Lookthereareothercriteriaforanannulment.LegallywecanalwayssaythatDennywasnotofsoun