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1BostonLegalRaceIpsaSeason2,Episode23WrittenbyDavidE.Kelly2006DavidE.KellyProductions.AllRightsReserved.Broadcast:April25,2006TranscribedbyImamessandSheri,forBoston-Legal.orgIntherapistSydneyFields’office,DennyCraneisleaningbackonthetherapist’scouch.DennyCrane:Waxingon.It’sjustthatIfeellikemysongisstillinme.SydneyField:Annoyed.Whatsong?DennyCrane:Mysong!Everybodyhadasonginthem,Sydney,youshouldknowthat.DrSydneyFields:Oh,Isee.Andyoursisstillunsung?Isthatit?DennyCrane:Yeah.Imean,hereIaminmyseventiesandIstillfeelthateverythingIwantedtoexpressinlifeisstillbottledyouinsidemelikeakidneystone.Talktome,Sydney.Whatareyouthinking?DrSydneyFields:Ithinkyou’rebored,Denny.DennyCrane:Bored?HowcanIbebored?I’mDennyCrane.Eventhesoundofmynamefascinates.More,Sydney.More,aboutme.DrSydneyFields:Yeah.Okay.Well,Ithinkthatyouareasilverspoon-fed,rich,empty,sack,whohasnothingtodonowbutcounthismoney,orspenditonhookersandtherapistswhoofferupsomeformofaffirmation.Andfrankly,I’msickofit!IwouldnolongereventreatyoubutforthesixhundreddollarsanhourIcharge,whichsum,Imightassureyou,ismeanttodeteryourrecurringvisits.Doyouunderstandme,Denny?Iwouldsoonerleapfromthewindowthanseeyourlipsmove,thesightofwhichisthevisualcuethatfeculentblatherisabouttospewforth.DennyCrane:Thisisnowayforatherapisttotalktoapatient.DrSydneyFields:Myofficialmedicalrecommendationwouldbethatyoutakeyogaclasses,sothatyoumightgainthenecessaryflexibilitytostickyourheadupyourass.Nobodyspeaksforamomentastheylookateachother.DennyCrane:Hesitsup.I,Idofeellikeanemptysacksometimes.Itoccasionsdepression.Itevencausedmetobuyhandguntoendit.Ievencarryitaroundwithme.NeverknowingwhenImightdecidetojointheranksoftheunliving.AndthenIthinktomyself,“Howunoriginal.Suicideissoordinary.But?”Hereachesintohisbriefcase“IfIweretoshootmydoctor?”Hepullsoutagun,pointsitatthedoctorandpullsbackthehammer.“Well!”DrSydneyFields:Ah,now,butyousee,Denny,thatwouldresultinyouactuallyaccomplishingsomethingreal.Yousee?Hegetsupandwalksbehindhisdesk.Somethingactualasopposedtothemanufacturedheroicsofyourpublicists,theMadCow,andthenitmightsuddenlymatter,reallymatter,thatyouwereborn!And,andhowwouldyouhandlethatafterseventy-plusyearsofunmitigatedinsignificance?DennyCrane:Hestandsup,stillpointingthegun.Youdon’tthinkImatter?SydneyField:Oh,pullthetrigger,Denny!Dosomethingtoriseaboveyourinsipidpressreleases,allthemeaninglessness!Just,pullit!DennyCrane:Hemovescloser,stillpointingthegun.YouthinkIwon’t?SydneyField:Actually,Ihappentoknowyouwill.Ihappentoknowyoumust.Yousee,you’repointingagunatatherapistwho’snotonlygotadeathwishofhisownbutalsoalifeinsurancepolicywhichexcludessuicide!Yousee,Denny?I’velongbeenwonderinghowcanIpossiblyendmylifewithoutforfeitingmyson’sHarvardeducation?But,ifIweretobemurdered!Then...!Heopensthedeskdrawer,pullsagunout,andaimsitatDenny.So.Youmustshootme,orIwillshootyou.Denny’sfacegoeswhite.It’stensenow.Goahead,pullthetrigger,orIwillkillyou.DennyCrane:Joke’sover.OkaySydney.SydneyField:Pullit.DennyCrane:I’mnotgonnashootyou,don’tberidiculous.SydneyField:Thenyoumustdie.DennyCrane:C’mon,Sydney.Game’sover.SydneyField:I’llgiveyoutocountofthree.One.DennyCrane:Sydney!SydneyField:Two.DennyCrane:ForGod’ssake!SydneyField:Three.2BOOM.Agungoesoff…thetwomenstareateachother…andthen…alittlecircleofbloodbeginstoformonSydney’sshirt,justbelowtheshoulder.Abeat.Anotherbeat.Andhedrops.Dennyisstunned.Thedoorsuddenlyopens,CindyBenson,Sydney’sassistant,stepsin…freezes.Screams.AtCrane,PooleandSchmidtPaulLewistonmarchesdownthecorridorandknocksonShirleySchmidt’sdoorandwalksin.Shirleyissittingonhercouch,shelooksupfromherreading.ShirleySchmidt:Whatnow?PaulLewiston:Dennyshothistherapist.ShirleySchmidt:DearGod.Paintball?PaulLewiston:Realbullets.ShirleySchmidt:Ishe…?PaulLewiston:No.Themanisapparentlygoingtosurvive;he’sinthehospital,Denny’sincustody.Where’sAlan?InJudgePaulResnick’scourtroom.AlanShoreissittingintheback.PublicDefenderMichaelAdams:It’snotthatI’mnotready,YourHonor!It’sthatIwascalledfortrial!DivisionSix,JudgeHolt!JudgePaulResnick:JudgeHoltdoesn’tcontrolmycourtroom.Itoldyouthelasttimethere’dbenofurthercontinuances.PublicDefenderMichaelAdams:Icannotbeintwoplacesatthesametime!JudgePaulResnick:Thenyoushouldhavegottensomebodyfromyourofficetocover.PublicDefenderMichaelAdams:Somebodyelse?ThePublicDefender’sOfficeissooverextended…JudgePaulResnick:So’stheDA’sOffice.He’shereandready!PublicDefenderMichaelAdams:Ofcoursehe’sready,becausetheyprioritizetheracialprofilingcases.ADA:Iobjecttothat,YourHonor.PublicDefenderMichaelAdams:Thetruthis,weshouldn’tevenbehere.JudgePaulResnick:Saveitfortrial,Counsel,whichwillbegintomorrow,eitherwith,orwithoutyou.Adjourned.TheADAleaves.AlanwalksuptoMichaelAdams.AlanShore:Excuseme!Icouldn’thelpbutoverhearing,whichissooftenthecasewhenpeopleshout.MynameisAlanShore,andI’manextraordinaryattorney.Icouldtellyoustories,butmoreincredibly,I’mavailable.Alancomesoutofthecourtroom.ChelinaHall:Alan?!AlanShore:Heturnsback.Chelina?!ChelinaHall:OhmyGod.AlanShore:Howareyou?ChelinaHall:I’mfine.Howareyou?AlanShore:Hehugsher.Todayali