1BostonLegalTheGoodLawyerSeason3,Episode16Teleplayby:DavidE.KelleyStoryby:DavidE.Kelley&MichaelReisz©2007DavidE.KelleyProductions.AllRightsReservedAirdate:February20,2007TranscribedbySheriforboston-legal.org[versionupdatedMarch7,2007]SpecialthankstoRadarforeditingandtranslatingtheRabbi’swordsintheSpitballScene—Shalom!ThankyoutoNuicaforthescreenshotsusedinthistranscriptPromoScene:DennyCraneandAlanShoreattheSpainBelize,completewithwhiterobesandfacialmudas:Narrator:Theselawyersareonamission—DennyCrane:Iwasabductedonce.AlanShoreandDennyCranewalkingdownthestreetinsunglasses—“Welookgoodtogether”Narrator:Toboldlygo—BethanyHorowitz:You’regoingtotemple.Spitballsceneto“HavaNagila.”Narrator:Wherenolawyerhasgonebefore.RabbiHershman:Ow!DennyCrane:IshottheRabbi!Narrator:Anall-newBostonLegalstartsrightnow,onlyonABC.RecapsMarkValley:PreviouslyonBostonLegal.DennyCrane:onhiskneesBethany!BethanyHorowitz:Ineverwhattoseeyouagain.DennyCrane:Idumpedyourmother.BethanyHorowitz:YoudumpedBella?DennyCrane:‘CauseIcan’tgetoveryou.BradChase:It’smybaby.DeniseBauer:It’smychoice,notyours.BradChase:Haveyouthoughtaboutschoolsyet?Youhavetostartapplyingearlyforthesepre-schools.JerryEspenson:I’vebeenworkingveryhardtodealwithmyAsperger’ssyndrome.growls,hoots,squeals,hopsAlanShore:Litigationisaboutconfidence—JerryEspenson:Howdidyoufeelwhenyouwerebeatinghimwiththeclub?AlanShore:No,youdon’twanttosaythat.backtopreviousscene—strategy—JerryEspenson:Yuck,yuck,yuck.AlanShore:—cheaptheatrics.JerryEspenson:Oh—anothersceneBingo!AlanShore:ontheBalconywithJerryEspenson;toastingTofriendship,mycolleague.SuburbanBostonNeighborhoodinWinterAlanShoregetsoutofalatemodelMercedesBenzS-ClasssedantotalktoDoughnutCop.DoughnutCop:incar,eatingdonutHey,hey!AlanShore:Myclientliveshere.Wouldyoumindtellingmewhattheproblemis?lookingatCoffeeCopleisurelydrinkingcoffeeIcanseeit’sclearlyanemergency.DoughnutCop:We’rejustwaitingforthewarranttocomethrough.Shecouldachosetocooperatewithus.Shedidn’twannadothat.AlanShore:She’ssuspectedofwrongdoing?DoughnutCop:Stolesomeartfromamuseum.2InsidetheHouseMaureenFlemingslamsthedoorbehindAlanShore.MaureenFleming:Art?Iwouldhardlycallitart.AlanShore:Butyoudidstealsomething.MaureenFleming:Youcan’tletthemsearchmyhouse,Alan.Youjustcan’t.AlanShore:Maureen,what’sgoingon?MaureenFleming:Can’tyoujustmakethemgoawayforanhour?AlanShore:No.Assumingtheycanshowcause,they’llgettheirwarrant,andjudgingbytheirdemeanor,theyseemconfident.Maureen,what’sgoingon?MaureenFleming:It’sananatomicalexhibition.Oneofthemostpopulartouringexhibitsintheworld,currentlyondisplayattheNaturalScienceMuseum.AlanShoreandMaureenFlemingarenowfacingaperfectlypreservedman,organsexposed,withabiggrinonhisfaceandholdingaliquorbottle.AlanShoregetsagoodlookattheexposedorgansandgeneralappearance,as:MaureenFleming:Thismanwasadrunkard.Youcantellbytheliver—it’sbeenravaged.Healsosufferedfromsomeformofvenerealdisease,whichcausedsomedeteriorationofsomeotherorgans.stepsinfrontofthe“exhibit”Iguessifyouknowwhattolookfor.AlanShore:Andasidefrombeautifullycomplementingyourcredenza,whyisheinyourdiningroom?MaureenFleming:That’smyfather.[openingcredits]BackinMaureenFleming’sDiningRoomMaureenFleming:Iknewsomeoneinmaintenanceatthemuseum.Iwentinwiththecleaningcrewatnight.IjustputhimonahanddollyandItookhim.AlanShore:Thegoalbeing?MaureenFleming:Toburyhim;togivehimadignifiedrestingplace.AlanShore:Well,Maureen,theonlythingtodoissurrenderyourself.Thepolicearen’tgoinganywhere,andoncethesearchwarrantisissued—MaureenFleming:WillIgotojail?AlanShore:Youmight.MaureenFlemingscoffs,thenshakesherheadwithherarmsup.AlanShore:Howdidheenduplikethisinthefirstplace?MaureenFleming:Mymotherdonatedhimuponhisdeath.Imean,it’sperverse,Alan!Lookathim,forGod’ssake!AlanShore:Well,hecertainlyseemshappy.MaureenFleming:Theyhavenorighttodisplayhimlikethat.AlanShore:Maureen,youneedtosurrenderyourselfanddad,here.Mybestchanceforkeepingyououtofjailisforyoutocooperatecompletely.MaureenFlemingscoffs.OutsidetheHousePeoplearemillingabout,andDoughnutCopescortsahandcuffedMaureenFlemingoutofthehouse,whileCoffeeCopwheelsDadDisplayoutonthedollybehindthem.DoughnutCophelpsMaureenFlemingintoasquadcar.CorridorofCrane,Poole&SchmidtAlanShoreisapparentlylatetowork.PaulLewiston:Itisalmosteleveno’clock.AlanShore:Thankyou,Paul.Iwon’thavetocheckmysundial.PaulLewiston:Wehadanineo’clockconferencecallwithourformerGovernor,noless.I’msureyouhadagoodreasonforblowinghimoff.AlanShore:Idid,actually.Oneofmyclientsstoleherdeadfatherfromamuseum.I’msureyou’vehadithappentoyou,Paul.PleaseextendmyapologiestoMitch.PaulLewiston:It’sMitt.ClarenceBell:rushingtocatchuptohimAlan!There’samaninyouroffice.Itriedtogethimtowaitoutside,but,uh—AlanShore:Whatsortofman,Clarence?ClarenceBell:Averyseriousone.3AlanShore:Didthemansaywhathewanted?ClarenceBell:You.That’sallhe’dtellme.IcouldhaveagoathimasClarice,ifyou’dlike.AlanShore:Thatwon’tbenecessary.AlanShore’sOfficeAlanShoreenters,hangsuphisovercoat.AlanShore:Hello.Dr.AlvinAbinazinacroft:Uh,goodmorning,sir.MynameisDr.AlvinAbinazinacroft,andfirstIwanttoth