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Peek-a-boo!No,no,no,no,no.Ididn'tmeantostartleyou,mylittlebaby.Shh,shh,shh.#Hush,littlevampire,don'tsayaword##Papa'sgonnabitetheheadoffabird#A-bittygoo-bah!Ivanttokissyourtush.Ivanttokissyourtush!Nice,butmaybealittlemoresquarefootage.Iwantalotofmonstershere.I'mgonnagetyou,littleMavis.I'mgonnagetyou!Oy.Whatoutthere?Oh,wenevergooutthere.Ever.Andthenthemonstersranawayandwereforcedintohiding.ButHarrytheHumanfoundthemandjumpedoutfromundertheirbed.-I'mscared!-Andburnedtheirclothesandbittheirtoes!Andtooktheircandy!Don'ttakemycandy.Babyclaws,youdon'tneedtobefrightened.IpromisedyourmommyIwouldprotectyouforever.#MybeautifulMay-vay##Letmewipeallyourpoopaway##Thosehumansarenas-tay##SowithDaddyyouwillstay##Andifahumantriestoharmyou##I'llsimplysay...##Becauseyou'reDaddy'sgirl##Daddy'sgirl##I'myourVlad-ydaddy...#Justbendthelegsandpushoff.Trustme,mouse.-Ha-ha!-Icanfly!Icanfly!Lookatyou!Faster,baby!Faster!-Whoo-hoo!-Yougotit,mylittlevoodoodoll!Excuseme,sir.What?What?Ow.I'mokay.It'sready.Looksgood.Onlymonsterscangetin?Oh,absolutely.It'shiddenrealnicely.Yougot400acresofhauntedforestinfrontofyou.YougottheLandoftheUndeadontheperimeters.Anyhumansdaringtoevenlookovertherewillrunawayrealquick.But,ofcourse,besmart.Nobonfires,nofireworkshows.Yeah,yeah,no,no.Nofire,Igetit,Igetit.It'stime,mydarlingMartha.TheplacewealwaystalkedaboutforMavis.Noonewilleverharmherhere.Yeah,it'samessbackthere.WelcometoHotelTransylvania!Human-freesince1898.Yoursafestdestination.Takeanitinerary.Ihavepersonallydesignedaspectacularscheduleofevents,allleadingtomydaughter'sbirthdayextravaganzatomorrow.Wealwayslookforwardtocomingeveryyear,Count.Weenjoythesafetysomuch.Ofcourse.That'swhywebuiltit.Yes,goodevening.Thankyou,Marty.Youlookpale,aswell.Sir,sir,sir!Wehaveanurgentplumbingissue.Plumbing?Onit.Mr.Ghouligan!Thereisacloggedtoiletinroom348.It'sokay.Weallgetstomachaches,Mr.Bigfoot.Hey,kids,reelitin.You'reonlysupposedtomakeMomandDadmiserable.Now,now,isthatanywaytobehave?Thisisahotel,notacemetery.Sorry,UncleDrac.Drac!Howareya?Wayne,myoldfriend!Couldn'twaitforthisweekend.Alwaysgreattobeoutoftheshadowsforacoupledays.Thefamilylooksbeautiful.Letmejustcleanuptheirfilth.Housekeeping!Frankie,myboy!Lookatyou!Stilltravelingbymail,Mr.Cheapo,huh?It'snotamoneything.Ihaveaplanephobia,okay?Imean,atanymoment,thoseenginescouldcatch...Fire!Yeah,yeah.Firebad.Weknow.Augustus,PorridgeHead,comeon!DoesthatlooklikeFrankenstein'shead?Hey,Drac,buddy,what'sgoingonwithyourcapethere?Whatdoyoumean?Oh!Whopinchedme?Guilty.You'reirresistible.Yes,veryamusing,InvisibleMan.Hello.Greattoseeyou.Nevergetsold.Ho-ho-ho.Missedme.Missedme,missedme,missedme.Okay,youwin.Holdthisbacon.WhyamIholdingbacon...Ahh!No!Get'emoff!Herecomestheparty!Hello,Murray!Drac,what'sup,buddy?Thesand,Murray,thesand!Alwayswiththesand.Whee!Wolfie!Wanda!Frank!Ilovethisguy.Healwaysbringingitfulltilt.You'relookingskinny,too.Nowthatyou'rejustahead.Okay,you'llpayforthat.Sowhat'sup,Drac?Thehotelislookingoffthehook.Hey,guys,watchthis.Bytheway,youwererightaboutthosedirections.Oh,good,good.Yeah,ItooktheTigristhroughtheNile,andtherewasabsolutelynotraffic.You'rekiddingme.Rightinmylobby?Drac,Iswear,man,Idon'trunlikethat.Housekeeping!Iwasnotthecauseofthat.We'reready!IfonlyMarthawereheretoseethis.She'salwayshere,Wanda.Okay,friends,Iamsogladyouareheretocelebrate.AnotherbirthdayformysweetlittleMavis,andanothersuccessfulyearofrefugefromthem!Thesearerecenthumanimagesoursurveillancehasuncovered.Theyaregettingfattersoastooverpowerus.Andtheyarewearinglessclothing,allowingmoremovementtostrangleusorcutopenourheadsandputcandyinthem.Buttheywillneverfindushere.Evilvillain,youwillneverwin!Okiedoke.Thefunstartsin30minutes.Rightnow,Ihavetoseemylittlegirl.She'snotsolittleanymore!Yes,sheis!What'sgoingonoutthere?Areweatthehotel?Frank,didyoubookusforatandemmassage?DidyougetusatableatHunchback's?Didyoudoanything?You'rewelcome.What'sgoingon?Dad,yousaidthatwhenIturned118Icouldgooutintotheworldlikeeveryotheradultthatgetstocomeandgofromthishotel.But,MaveyWavey,it'snotsafe.Bleh,bleh-bleh.Dad,30yearsago,youpromised.Iremember,wewerebotheatingmice,andyouspecificallysaidthatyougavemeyourword.Donotdisturb.-Donotdisturb.-Donotdisturb.Donotdisturb.-Donotdisturb.-Donotdisturb.-Donotdisturb.-Goodmorning,YourEminence.Maid,cleanupthisroom!It'syou.Gladyoucouldmakeit.-Issheupyet?-Oh,she'sup.She'sreadytogo.Andbygo,Imeango.Asin,gochecktheworldout.Whatyougonnado?Whatyougonnasay?Igotitcovered.Please,relax.Justdoyourjob.Goodmorning,MaveyWavey!Happybirthday,mylittlemouse!Thankyou,Dad.Iknowit'smybirthday.Ihavesomuchfunplanned.Whoo-hoo!Butfirst,wegocatchsomescorpionstogether,justthetwoofus,yes,dead-ums?Dad,please,letmespeak.There'ssomethingwehavetotalkabout.Youwanttogooutintotheworld.Youcan.Aha!Iknewyouweregonnasaythat.But,Dad,yougavemeyourword,andyouknowthatIknowthataDracula'swordissacred.Thatourtrustisthecoreofour...Wait,what?Isaidyoucango.You'rejustplayingwithme.No,no,no,no.You'reoldenoughtodriveahearsenow,you'reoldenoughtomakeyourownchoices.Youcango.Holyrabies!Holyrabies!Whoa,whoa.Stop.W