Pub-Talk-and-the-King’s-English

1Lesson3PubTalkandtheKing’sEnglishHenryFairlie1Conversationisthemostsociableofallhumanactivities.Anditisanactivityonlyofhumans.Howeverintricatethewaysinwhichanimalscommunicatewitheachother,theydonotindulgeinanythingthatdeservesthenameofconversation.2Thecharmofconversationisthatitdoesnotreallystartfromanywhere,andnoonehasanyideawhereitwillgoasitmeandersorleapsandsparklesorjustglows.Theenemyofgoodconversationisthepersonwhohas“somethingtosay.”Conversationisnotformakingapoint.Argumentmayoftenbeapartofit,butthepurposeoftheargumentisnottoconvince.Thereisnowinninginconversation.Infact,thebestconversationalistsarethosewhoarepreparedtolose.Suddenlytheyseethemomentforoneoftheirbestanecdotes,butinaflashtheconversationhasmovedonandtheopportunityislost.Theyarereadytoletitgo.3Perhapsitisbecauseofmyup-bringinginEnglishpubsthatIthinkbarconversationhasacharmofitsown.Barfriendsarenotdeeplyinvolvedineachother’slives.Theyarecompanions,notintimates.Thefactthattheirmarriagesmaybeontherocks,orthattheirloveaffairshavebeenbrokenoreventhattheygotoutofbedonthewrongsideissimplynotaconcern.TheyarelikethemusketeersofDumaswho,althoughtheylivedsidebysidewitheachother,didnotdelveintoeachother’slivesortherecessesoftheirthoughtsandfeelings.4Itwasonsuchanoccasiontheotherevening,astheconversationmoveddesultorilyhereandthere,fromthemostcommonplacetothoughtsofJupiter,withoutanyfocusandwithnoneedforone,thatsuddenlythealchemyofconversationtookplace,andallatoncetherewasafocus.Idonotrememberwhatmadeoneofourcompanionssayit---sheclearlyhadnotcomeintothebartosayit,itwasnotsomethingthatwaspressingonhermind----butherremarkfellquitenaturallyintothetalk.5“Someonetoldmetheotherdaythatthephrase,“theKing’sEnglish,’wasatermofcriticism,thatitmeanslanguagewhichoneshouldnotproperlyuse.”firm6Theglowoftheconversationburstintoflames.Therewereaffirmationsandprotestsanddenials,andofcoursethepromise,madeinallsuchconversation,thatwewouldlookituponthemorning.Thatwouldsettleit;butconversationdoesnotneedtobesettled;itcouldstillgoignorantlyon.7ItwasanAustralianwhohadgivenhersuchadefinitionof“theKing’sEnglish,”whichproducedsomerathertartremarksaboutwhatonecouldexpectfromthedescendantsofconvicts.WehadtraveledinfiveminutestoAustralia.Ofcourse,therewouldberesistancetotheKing’sEnglishinsuchasociety.Thereisalwaysresistanceinthelowerclassestoanyattemptbyanupperclasstolaydownrulesfor“Englishasitshouldbespoken.”28LookatthelanguagebarrierbetweentheSaxonchurlsandtheirNormanconquerors.TheconversationhadswungfromAustralianconvictsofthe19thcenturytotheEnglishpeasantsofthe12thcentury.Whowasright,whowaswrong,didnotmatter.Theconversationwasonwings.9Someonetookoneofthebest-knownofexamples,whichisstillalwaysworththereconsidering.Whenwetalkofmeatonourtables,weuseFrenchwords;whenwespeakoftheanimalsfromwhichthemeatcomesweuseAngloSaxonwords.Itisapiginitssty;itispork(porc)onthetable.Theyarecattleinthefields,butwesitdowntobeef(boeuf).Chickensbecomepoultry(poulet),andacalfbecomesveal(veau).EvenifourmenuswerenotwritteninFrenchoutofsnobbery,theEnglishweusedinthemwouldstillbeNormanEnglish.WhatallthistellsusisofadeepclassriftinthecultureofEnglandaftertheNormanconquest.10TheSaxonpeasantswhotilledthelandandrearedtheanimalscouldnotaffordthemeat,whichwenttoNormantables.Thepeasantswereallowedtoeattherabbitsthatscamperedovertheirfieldsand,sincethatmeatwascheap,theNormanlordsofcoursetuneduptheirnosesatit.Sorabbitisstillrabbitonourtables,andnotchangedintosomerenderingoflapin.11Aswelistentodaytotheargumentsaboutbilingualeducation,weoughttothinkourselvesbackintotheshoesoftheSaxonpeasant.ThenewrulingclasshadbuiltaculturalbarrieragainsthimbybuildingtheirFrenchagainsthisownlanguage.TheymusthavebeenagreatdealofculturalhumiliationfeltbytheEnglishwhentheyrevoltedunderSaxonleaderslikeHerewardtheWake.“TheKing’sEnglish”----ifthetermhadexistedthen---hadbecomeFrench.AndhereinAmericanow,900yearslater,wearestilltheheirstoit.12Sothenextmorning,theconversationover,onelookeditup.Thephrasecameintousesometimeinthe16thcentury.“Queen’sEnglish”isfoundinNash’s“StrangeNewesoftheinterceptingCertaineLetters”in1593,andin1602,Dekkerwroteofsomeone,“thouclipsttheKing’sEnglish.”IsthephraseinShakespeare?Thatwouldbetheconfirmationthatitwasingeneraluse.Heusesitonce,whenMistressQuicklyin“TheMerryWivesofWindsor”saysofhermastercominghomeinarage,“---herewillbeanoldabusingofGod’spatienceandtheKing’sEnglish,”anditringstrue.13Onecouldhaveexpectedthatitwouldbeaboutthenthatthephrasewouldbecoined.Afterfivecenturiesofgrowth,oftusslingwiththeFrenchoftheNormansandtheAngevinsandthePlantagenetsandatlastabsorbingit,theconqueredintheendconqueringtheconqueror.Englishhadcomeroyallyintoitsown.brown14TherewasaKing’s(orQueen’s)Englishtobeproudof.TheElizabethansblewonitasonadandelionclock,anditsseedsmultiplied,andfloatedtotheendsoftheearth.“TheKing’sEnglish”wasnolongeraformofwhatwouldnowberegardedasracialdiscrimination.15YettherehadbeensomethingintheremarkoftheAustralian.Thephrasehasalwaysbeenusedalittlepejorativelyandevenfacetiouslybythelowerclasses.Onefeelsthateven3