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【Unit2】TextIPleaseMarryMe1【Unit2】TextIPleaseMarryMe2PleaseMarryMeSayyes,andyou’reinformorethanlove,childrenandahome.Betterhealthandalongerlifearepartofthedeal.LoriOliwenstein1【1】MiriamKaminisfeelingalotbetternow.Itwasroughthereforawhile–thecollapseofhernine-yearmarriage,andfouryearsofsingleparentingwhilebuildingacareerasacorporateblogger2.Then,lastMay,shemarriedMark,alongtimefriend.Andthat,shesays,hasmadeallthedifference3.【2】“I’vestruggledwithdepressionformostofmylife,”sheexplains.“Yet,despitethefactthatI’vemoved,relocatedmykidsandamworkingharderthanIhaveinaverylongtime,I’mnotonmedicationrightnow.Ihadnoideamarriagewassupposedtobethismuchfun.”【3】Nevermindthepopularpalaver4aboutmarriageasasourceofblissforthecouple,securityforthekidsandsocietalstability.Pairup5anytwopeoplewithoftenclashingneeds,addthepressure-cookervariables6ofkids,doctorbills,career,housework,andthefactthatsomeone–heknowswhoheis–can’tpullhimselfawayfrom7theTVduringcollege-basketball8season,andthereareboundtobe9problems.Marriageiscriticizedasasourceofstress(anditis),conflict(thattoo)andendlesscrisesthatneedtoberesolved(guiltythereaswell).【4】Butit’salsosomethingmore.Decadesofdatacollectionhaveshownthatmarriage–forall10itschallenges–islikeahealth-insurancepolicy.Marriagemeansnomoredrinkingatbarsuntilclosing,nomoreeatingramen11noodlesandcallingitameal.Marriedpeoplearelesslikelytosmokeordrinkheavilythanpeoplewhoaresingle,divorcedorwidowed.Thesesortsoflifestylechangesareknowntolowerratesofcardiovasculardisease12,cancerandrespiratory13diseases.Andwhileyoumightsometimesgripe14thatyourspousedrivesyounuts15,justtheoppositeistrue.Marriedpeoplehavelowerratesofalltypesofmentalillnessesandsuicide.【5】Researchershavefoundthatallthehealthbenefitsofmarriageareconsistent16acrossage,race,educationandincomegroups.Someofthereasonsforthisareobvious.Smokinganddrinkingnaturallydeclineifyou’vegotaspouseatyoursideflashing17youadon’t-you-dare18lookwhenyoureachforacigaretteorathird【Unit2】TextIPleaseMarryMe3glassofwine.Depressionandotheremotionalillsarelesslikelytogoundiagnosed19ifthere’ssomeoneathomewho’smindful20ofyourmoodsandnoticesiftheydarken21.Butthereareother,lessself-evidentthingsatworktoo–thingsthatscientistsanddoctorsareonlynowbeginningtoappreciatefully.【6】Forallthesafeguards22spouseserect23aroundeachother,muchofwhatmakesmarriagesohealthytakesplacewithinourbodies.Alotofthosebenefitscomedownto24themanagementofstress.Thedailystressesofthemodernworldcanthrowourbodiesintoemergencymodeandkeepusthere.Thattakesatoll25throughhighbloodpressure,tensionheadachesandalotofgnawed26pencils.Beingmarriedsomehowhelpsthebodycircumvent27thismess,eitherbyhushing28thehypothalamus29orreducingcortisol30production.【7】Thisisespeciallygoodnewsformen.AstudypublishedintheJanuary2008issueofthejournalHealthPsychologyshowedthatwhilemarriedmengetrelieffromtheirworkdaybarrage31ofstresshormones32whentheycomehomeafteraparticularlybusydayatwork,workingwomenareabletode-stresssimilarlyonlyiftheydescribetheirmarriageasahappyone.【8】Theremaybeasimpleexplanationforthis.Itmayjustbethatsomewomenarecominghomeandfacingdinnerprepandassistingthekidswithhomework,andthey’renotgettingthehelpthatthemoremaritallysatisfiedwomenaregetting.Thefullexplanationforthisgendergap,however,isundoubtedlymorecomplicatedthanthat.Long-termdatafromanIsraelistudy,forexample,indicatethatthelife-lengtheningpowersofmarriagehaveincreasedovertime–butmostlyformen.Overnearlytwodecades,thestudyfound,marriedmenwidenedthealreadysignificantdifferenceincancer-deathincidencebetweenthemselvesandunmarriedmenby25%;marriedwomengainedabsolutelyzero33groundovertheirunmarriedpeers.【9】Whythissomatic34sexism?“Thisisagross35generalization,butwomenarereallythemental-andphysical-healthhousekeepersforamarriage,”sayspsychologistJaniceKiecolt-GlaseroftheOhioStateUniversityCollegeofMedicine.“Theyareoftentheoneswhoprod36mentogotoadoctorortoeatmorehealthily.”MiriamKamin’shusbandMarkagrees.“Asaman,I’mmoreconcernedwithmakingsuretheoilhasbeenchangedinthelast3,000milesthanwithwhetherIhadaphysicallately,”hesays.“Miriam’smuchmorelikelytonoticesomethingiswrong【Unit2】TextIPleaseMarryMe4withmethanIam.”【10】Forallitsbenefits,marriageisnotagiftcertificateforgoodhealth.Foronething,it’sfattening37.AccordingtoaCDC38study,marriedmenarenearly20%morelikelytobeoverweightorobese39thanaremenwhohavenevermarried–perhapsbecausetheysimplyhavesomeonetositdowntodinnerwitheachnightorperhapsbecausetheoftenemptyrefrigeratorofaonetime40bachelorfillsupfastwhensomeoneismakingsuretodotheshopping.【11】Dataalsoshowthatthestressofabadmarriagecanundo41muchofthegoodthatcomeswithahappyone.Inaseriesofstudies,Kiecolt-Glaserandherhusband,immunologist42RonaldGlaser,alsooftheOhioStateUniversityCollegeofMedicine,foundthat“negativemaritalinteraction,”suchasarguments,name-calling43andnonverbalcues44likeeye-rollingleadtoincreasesincortisolanddecreasesinimmune45functionandevenwound-healing.Theeffectswereobservedinbothsexes,butparticularlystronglyinwomen.【12】Andwhentheprotectivebondsofmarriagebreak,watchout.Those