写作技巧点拨一•劝说性写作:给朋友的信•【题目要求】•假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Mike在给你的信中说,他想在暑假做兼职工作,但是他的父母不同意。请根据以下提示,给他写一封回信。父母不同意的可能原因你的建议1.认为学习是他最重要的任务,让他利用暑假来学习2.觉得他年纪太小,不适合做兼职工作1.和父母好好谈谈2.如果他们同意了,为学习和工作制订一个详细的计划•注意:1.词数:100词左右;•2.可适当增加细节,以使行文连贯;•3.信的开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。•DearMike,•Gladtohearfromyou.•________________________________________________________________________•Ihopemysuggestionscanbehelpfultoyou.•Bestwishes.•LiHua•一、构思谋篇•二、关键词语与某人意见一致agreewithsb.认为某物是……regardsth.as...充分利用makegooduseof...和某人好好谈谈haveagoodtalkwithsb.为……制订计划makeaplanfor...为某人担心worryaboutsb.•三、连词成句•1.你想在今年暑假做兼职工作,但是你的父母与你意见不一致。•Youwanttodoaparttimejobthissummervacationbutyourparentsdon'tagreewithyou.•2.他们可能认为对你来说学习是最重要的任务。•Theymayregardlearningasthemostimportanttaskforyou.•3.他们想让你充分利用这个假期学习。•They'dlikeyoutomakegooduseofthevacationtostudy.•4.你应该为你的学习和工作制订一个详细的计划。•Youshouldmakeadetailedplanforyourstudyandwork.•四、连句成篇•DearMike,•Gladtohearfromyou.Ihavelearntfromyourletter①thatyouwanttodoapart-timejobthissummervacationbutyourparentsdon'tagreewithyou.•Ithinkyourparentsmayhavetheirreasons.Theymay②regardlearningasthemostimportanttaskforyou.Perhapsthey'dlikeyouto③makegooduseofthevacationtostudy.Besides,theymaythink④youare⑤tooyoungtowork.•⑥Inmyopinion,you'dbetter⑦haveagoodtalkwiththem.⑧Iftheyagree,youshouldmakeadetailedplanforyourstudyandwork.Andyoucanalso⑨tellyourparentsnottoworryaboutyou⑩becauseyouareoldenoughtomanageyourownthingswell.•Ihopemysuggestionscanbehelpfultoyou.•Bestwishes.•LiHua•[亮点点评]•亮点一:本文思路清晰,要点齐全。首先表达了收到笔友来信时的高兴心情,接着介绍对方面临的问题,引出话题,然后分析可能的原因并提出自己的建议,最后表达自己的希望,是一篇不错的范文。•亮点二:文中运用了很多复杂的句型,如①是that引导的宾语从句,该宾语从句是一个由but连接的表示转折关系的并列句;④是省略引导词that的宾语从句;⑧是if引导的条件状语从句;⑩是because引导的原因状语从句。另外,⑤too...to及⑨tellsb.nottodosth.等经典句型的运用也为文章增色不少。•亮点三:文中还运用了许多高级词汇,如②regardsth.as③makegooduseof⑥inmyopinion⑦haveagoodtalkwithsb.等,体现了作者拥有较大的词汇量。•——写作提升——•你是李华,你很烦恼。最近,每天早晚,你们小区广场上都有很多人在跳广场舞,持续时间长且噪音大,给你和小区里其他人带了很多的不便……请你给小区委员会领导写封信,反映现象及其导致的不便(要求涉及生活、学习和工作等方面)并提出合理建议。•注意:•1.词数120左右;•2.短文的开头和结尾已给出,不计入总词数。•参考词汇:广场舞squaredance组织者organizers•DearSir,•Iamwritingtotellyousomethingaboutthepeopledoingthesquaredanceinourcommunity,whichhasmademeterriblyupset.•________________________________________________________________________•Bestwishes.•Sincerelyyours,•LiHua•【自己动手写一写】•________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________•【范文背诵】•DearSir,•Iamwritingtotellyousomethingaboutthepeopledoingthesquaredanceinourcommunity,whichhasmademeterriblyupset.•Recently,everymorningandevening,manypeoplegathertodanceinourcommunitysquare,whichdoeshelptokeephealthy.However,thelongtimedancingandthenoisepollutioncausedbytheloudspeakerreallybringaboutunbearableinconveniences.Wecan'trestorsleepwell.Asaresult,thestudentsarenotonlylateforschoolbutalsosleepyinclass,andtheworkersareeasilytiredoutwhileworking.Herearesomesuggestionstosolvetheproblem.Theyaresupposedeithertoshortenthedancingtimeandreducethemusicnoiseortomakeanotherchoiceofdancingplaces.Onlyinthiswaycantheyhavefunandletothersenjoylife.•WouldyoupleasecommunicatewiththeorganizersaboutwhatIsaid?•Bestwishes.•Sincerelyyours,•LiHua•【写作提示】•题目要求给小区居委会领导写信,反映广场舞带来的不便。不便之处要涉及生活、学习、工作等,并提出合理的建议。词数在120词左右,开头和结尾不计入总词数。注意书信的格式,不能出现标点、拼写错误。要用上参考词汇。•【亮点点评】•范文注意使用Recently,However,Asaresult等连接句子与段落,使作文比较连贯、通顺;范文使用了定语从句whichdoeshelptokeephealthy;非谓语动词causedbytheloudspeaker;倒装Onlyinthiswaycantheyhavefun,宾语从句whatIsaid等语法知识,提高了作文的档次;范文使用了较多的短语和固定搭配:bringabout,notonly...butalso,betiredout,either...or,makeachoiceof,communicatewith,aresupposedtodosth.等,使作文内容比较充实;范文使用了一些高级词汇:unbearable,inconveniences,sleepy等,给作文增色不少。