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1《老友记》第一季第一集（中央咖啡厅）没什么好说的！他只不过是我的同事There'snothingtotell.It'sjustsomeguyIworkwith.少来了，和你交往的男人…Comeon.You'regoingoutwithaguy.多多少少一定有点问题！There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim.他既驼背又戴假发？Sodoeshehaveahumpandahairpiece?等一下，他是不是会吃粉笔？Wait.Doesheeatchalk?我只是不希望你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl.Oh.各位放轻松，这不算约会Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.不过是两个人一起出去吃晚餐而且不上床It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerandnothavingsex.对我来说这就是约会Soundslikeadatetome.做了个梦，在中学时代我站在餐厅中央…I'mbackinhighschool,inthemiddleofthecafeteria...突然发现自己全身赤裸...andIrealizeI'mtotallynaked.对，没错我做过那样的梦Oh,yeah.I'vehadthatdream.我低头一看，看见有一个电话…ThenIlookdownandIrealizethereisaphone...在那里...there.而不是…没错Insteadof...That'sright!我没做过那样的梦没有Thatone,I'veneverhad.No.突然，那个电话响了Allofasudden,thephonestartstoring.结果是我妈妈打来的Anditturnsoutit'smymother.这非常奇怪因为她从来都不会打电话给我！Whichisvery,veryweirdbecauseshenevercallsme.嗨Hi.这家伙说〝嗨〞的时候我却想杀了我自己Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.你还好吧，亲爱的？2Areyouokay,sweetie?我就感觉好像某人伸手进我的喉咙抓住我的小肠，从我的嘴里拉出来Ifeellikesomeonegrabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouth...再在我的脖子上打结…要吃饼干吗？...andtieditaroundmyneck.Cookie?卡萝今天搬走了她的东西Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.哦Oh.我给你拿杯咖啡谢谢Letmegetyousomecoffee.Thanks.呃Ew.Unh.不，不要！不要清理我的光环！No.No,don't!Stopcleansingmyaura.不要管我的光环，好吗？Justleavemyauraalone,okay?我会没事的，好吗？真的我希望她开心I'llbefine.Allright?Really.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.不，你并不希望是的，我不希望！No,youdon't.No,Idon't.叫她去死，是她离开了我！Tohellwithher.Sheleftme!你从来都不知道她是女同性恋Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian.不知道！行了吧！No!Okay?为什么每个人老是要提出来？Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?她都不知道，我又怎么会知道？Shedidn'tknow.HowshouldIknow?有时候我希望我是女同性恋…SometimesIwishIwasalesbian.我讲得很大声吗？DidIsaythatoutloud?没事的，罗斯你现在感到很痛苦Allright,Ross.Look,you'refeelingalotofpainrightnow.你很生气，很伤心You'reangry.You'rehurting.我能告诉你解决方法是什么吗？CanItellyouwhattheansweris?脱衣舞厅！Stripjoints!别这样，你单身了！有需求的！Comeon,you'resingle.Havesomehormones.3我不想单身，好吗？See,butIdon'twanttobesingle,okay?我只想…再次结婚！Ijustwannabemarriedagain.而我只想要一百万美金！AndIjustwantamilliondollars!瑞秋！Rachel?噢，老天爷，摩妮卡感谢上帝！Oh,God,Monica!Hi!ThankGod!我刚到你那里去，而你不在那个拿着大锤子的家伙说Iwenttoyourbuildingandthisguywithahammersaid...你可能在这里你真在这里！...thatyoumightbehere,andyouare.你想喝点咖啡吗？无咖啡因的CanIgetyousomecoffee?Decaf.好了，各位，这位是瑞秋另一个林肯高中的幸存者Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.这就是各位这是钱德、菲比Thisiseverybody.ThisisChandlerandPhoebe...乔伊，还有你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？...andJoey.Andremembermybrother,Ross?当然，嘿！嘿Sure!Hey.嗨天啊Hi.Oh,God.那你现在可以告诉我们了吗还是说我们在等着四位湿漉的伴娘?Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforfourwetbridesmaids?好吧，大概在婚礼前半个小时Oh,God!Well,itstartedaboutahalf-hourbeforethewedding.我在礼物间里Iwasinthisroomwithallthepresents...看着那个肉汁壶...andIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.那是个非常好看的肉汁壶ThisreallygorgeousLimogesgravyboat.然后，突然…有代糖吗？Whenallofasudden...Sweet'NLow?我发现…Irealized...我对这个肉汁壶比对巴瑞更有冲动！...IwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry.然后我吓呆了然后这个想法突然出现在脑中：ThenIgotreallyfreakedout,andthat'swhenithitme:巴瑞看起来多像洋芋头先生啊4HowmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.我总是觉得他眼熟，但是…Youknow,Imean,Ialwaysknewhelookedfamiliar,but...总之我必须离开那里，我在想：Anyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,andIstartedwondering:〝我为什么这样做，我为谁这样做？〞WhyamIdoingthis?AndWhoamIdoingthisfor?我不知道该去哪里而且我知道我和你有点疏远了Anyway,Ijustdidn'tknowwheretogo,andIknowyouandIhavedriftedapart...但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人...butyou'retheonlypersonIknowinthecity.而且没有受邀参加你的婚礼Whowasn'tinvitedtothewedding.噢，我希望你不会把它当一回事…Oh,Iwaskindofhopingthatwouldn'tbeanissue.我猜他给她买了个管风琴I'mguessingheboughtherthebigpipeorgan...而她很不喜欢那个...andshe'sreallynothappyaboutit.老爸，我就是无法和他结婚Daddy,Ijust...Ican'tmarryhim.对不起I'msorry.我只是不爱他了Ijustdon'tlovehim.这对我很有关系！Well,itmatterstome.她真不应该穿那条裤子Sheshouldnotbewearingthosepants.我觉得应该把她推下楼Isaypushherdownthestairs.把她推下楼…Pushherdownthestairs!Pushherdownthestairs!爸爸，听我说！Comeon,Daddy,listentome!这就好像在我一生中所有人都告诉我：〝你是鞋子！〞It'slikeallofmylife,everyone'salwaystoldme,You'reashoe!〝你是鞋子…〞You'reashoe!You'reashoe!You'reashoe!然后今天，我停下来对自己说：〝如果我不想成为鞋子呢？ThentodayIstoppedandsaid,WhatifIdon'twannabeashoe?如果我想成为一个包包？WhatifIwannabeapurse?Youknow?或一顶帽子？〞Orahat?5不，我不是要你给我买帽子我是说我是帽子Idon'twantyoutobuymeahat,Iamahat.这是个比喻，爸爸！It'sametaphor,Daddy!你看得出他哪里听不懂Youcanseewherehe'dhavetrouble.爸爸，这是我的生活Look,Daddy,it'smylife.也许我可以和摩妮卡住在一起Well,maybeI'lljuststayherewithMonica.我猜我们已经确定她要和摩妮卡住在一起了…Iguesswe'veestablishedshe'sstayingwithMonica.也许那是我的决定Well,maybethat'smydecision.也许我不需要你的钱Well,maybeIdon'tneedyourmoney.等等！我说也许！Wait!Wait!Isaidmaybe!呼吸，呼吸好，就这样Okay.Justbreathe,that'sit.试着想一些让你镇定的事…Justtrytothinkofnice,calmthings.玫瑰上的雨滴，还有猫的胡须RaindropsonrosesAndwhiskersonkittens门铃和雪橇铃，还有手套…DoorbellsandsleighbellsAndsomethingwithmittens啦啦啦，还有一些条状物…LalalasomethingWithstring我现在好多了I'mallbetternow.我帮上忙啦Ihelped.瞧，这也许对你来讲是最好的知道吗？Look,thisisprobablyforthebest,youknow?独立了，把握自己的生活Independence.Takingcontrolofyourlife.还有，你还需要什么你可以随时来找乔伊And,hey,ifyouneedanything,youcanalwayscometoJoey.我和钱德就住在对面而且他经常不在MeandChandlerliverightacrossthehall.Andhe'sawayalot.乔伊，不要再对她放电了今天是她结婚的日子！Joey,stophittingonher.It'sherweddingday.怎么啦，难道这还有什么规定吗？What?Likethere'saruleorsomething?请不要再按了那是很恐怖的声音6Pleasedon'tdothatagain.It'sahorriblesound.我是保罗让他进来！Uh,it'sPaul.Buzzhimin.谁是保罗？保罗，红酒达人，保罗？Who'sPaul?Paul,thewi