高考英语写作句子结构优化

高考英语写作训练之句子结构的优化（上篇）高考作文评分标准第一档（1-6分）…第二档（7-12分）…第三档（13-18分）完成试题规定的部分任务。虽漏掉一些内容，但覆盖部分主要内容；应用的语法结构和词汇能满足任务的要求；有一些语法结构或词汇方面的错误，但不影响理解；应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文内容连贯；整体而言，基本达到了预期写作的目的。高考作文评分标准第四档（19-24分）完成试题规定的主要任务。虽漏掉一两个次重点，但覆盖所有主要内容；应用的语法结构和词组能满足任务的要求；语法结构或词汇方面应用基本准确，些许错误主要是因尝试较复杂语法结构或词汇所致；应用简单的语句间连接成分，使全文结构紧凑；达到预期的写作目的。高考作文评分标准第五档（25-30分）完成试题规定的全部任务。覆盖所有内容要点；应用了较多的语法结构和词汇；语法结构或词汇方面有些许错误，但为尽量使用较复杂结构或较高词汇所致；具备较强的语言应用能力；有效的使用了语句间的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑；完全达到了预期的写作目的。B340班绍兴市模考最高分最低分平均分21分9分14.2分加分点句子结构的优化使用高级词汇语句间的连接句子结构的优化Translation老师应该鼓励学生养成良好的习惯，不要乱涂乱丢。（2011，浙江）Teachersshouldencouragestudentstodevelop/formgoodhabitsandbetterbehavethemselves,insteadofscribblingandlitteringabout.Studentsshouldbeencouragedtodevelop/formgoodhabitsandbetterbehavethemselves,insteadofscribblingandlitteringabout.9被动语态老板警告我说，如果再迟到的话就要开除我。MybosswarnedmethatifIwerelateagain,hewouldfireme.IwaswarnedthatifIwerelateagain,Iwouldbefired.浙江卫视将举办第二届中国好声音ZhejiangSatelliteTVisgoingtoholdthe2ndVoiceofChinaThe2ndVoiceofChinaisgoingtobeheldinZhejiangSatelliteTV.10被动语态学校必须采取有效措施，来解决乱涂和乱丢的问题(2011，浙江)Ourschoolmusttakeeffectivemeasurestosolvetheproblemofscribblingandlittering.Effectivemeasuresmustbetakentosolvetheproblemofscribblingandlitteringonourcampus.Translation等到客人走了之后，桌上至少一半的菜没有动过,这是我没有想到的。Afteralltheguestsgotupandleft,halfofthedisheswereleftuntouched,andthisresultwasoutofmyexpectation.Afteralltheguestsgotupandleft,halfofthedisheswereleftuntouched,whichwasoutofmyexpectation.定语从句人物介绍TakeAbrahamLincoln,forexample.Hewasborninapoorfamily,andonlyreceivedalimitededucation.(范文：2012,浙江)TakeAbrahamLincoln,whowasborninapoorfamily,forexample.Heonlyreceivedalimitededucation,but…13定语从句Which指代整个句子的意思Yetthroughhispainstakingeffort,hechangednotonlyhisownfatebutalsothehistoryofAmerica.Eventothisday,Lincolnisregardedasoneofthemostinspiringfiguresintheworld.(范文：2012,浙江)Yetthroughhispainstakingeffort,hechangednotonlyhisownfatebutalsothehistoryofAmerica,whichalsomadehimoneofthemostinspiringfiguresintheworldeventothisday.整合TakeAbrahamLincoln,forexample.Hewasborninapoorfamily,andonlyreceivedalimitededucation.Yetthroughhispainstakingeffort,hechangednotonlyhisownfatebutalsothehistoryofAmerica.Eventothisday,Lincolnisregardedasoneofthemostinspiringfiguresintheworld.TakeAbrahamLincoln,whowasborninapoorfamily,forexample.Heonlyreceivedalimitededucation,butthroughhispainstakingeffort,hechangednotonlyhisownfatebutalsothehistoryofAmerica,whichalsomadehimoneofthemostinspiringfiguresintheworldeventothisday.Translation她的失败都应该归咎于她的粗心大意。Hercarelessnesswastoblameforherfailure.Itwashercarelessnessthatwastoblameforherfailure.强调句Itis/was…that…直到所有客人都离开的时候，我才知道我的菜太多了。(绍兴模考，2013)Ididn’trealizethatIhadorderedtomuchfooduntilalltheguestsgotupandleft.ItwasnotuntilalltheguestsgotupandleftthatIrealizedthatIhadorderedtoomuchfood.Do强调一个动词我希望越来越多的人加入到这个光盘行动当中来。（2012，绍兴模考）IhopemoreandmorepeoplewilltakepartintheClearYourPlateCampaign.IdohopemoreandmorepeoplewilltakepartintheClearYourPlateCampaign.Translation直到袁隆平的杂交水稻研制成功，人们取笑他得声音才停下来。(2012,浙江)Peopledidn’tstopteasingYuanLongpinguntilhehadsucceededinhishybridrice.OnlyafterYuanLongpinghadsucceededinhishybridricedidpeoplestopteasinghim.NotuntilYuanLongpinghadsucceededinhishybridricedidpeoplestopteasinghim.倒装否定词置于句首(not,never,hardly/seldom)我永远都不会再相信他的话。Iwillneverbelievehimagain.NeverwillIbelievehimagain.那些被抓到乱涂乱丢的同学不仅应该接受教育，还要受到惩罚。(2011,浙江)Thosewhoarecaughtscribblingorlitteringshouldnotonlybescoldedbutalsobepunished.Notonlyshouldthosewhoarecaughtscribblingorlitteringbescolded,butalsotheyshoudbepunished.倒装Only+状语（从句）+部分倒装只有通过这样的方法，才能解决这样的问题。Onlyinthiswaycanyousolvesuchaproblem.只有等到失去之后，你才会倍加珍惜。Onlyafteryoulostitwouldyoucherishitmore.Translation父母所能够为我们做的终究是有限的，所以学会如何独立解决生活中的困难非常重要。Whatourparentscandoforusisalwayslimited,thusitisofgreatsignificanceforustolearnhowtosolveproblemsofourown.名词性从句What引导的主/宾/表语从句最另大家感动的是，李越不顾炎热，为班级采购歌咏比赛的服装。(2010,浙江)WhatmovedthewholeclassmostisthatLiYuewentdowntowntolookforthecostumesforthesingingcompetition,regardlessofthehotweather.ChallengeYourself!IrealizedtheimportanceofEnglishwhenIenteredseniorhighschool.(强调句)ItwaswhenIenteredseniorhighschoolthatIrealizedtheimportanceofEnglish.Theycarriedoutasurveyamong260students.(被动语态)Asurveywascarriedoutamong260students.Wecanliveahappierlifeonlybythismeans.(倒装)Onlybythismeanscanweliveahappierlife.HeofferedmeapieceofadvicethatIshouldcheerupandstartalloveragain.(what)WhatheofferedmewasapieceofadvicethatIshouldcheerupandstartalloveragain.Improving