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MenarefromMars,WomenarefromVenusImaginethatmenarefromMarsandwomenarefromVenus.Oneday,longago,theMartians,lookingintotheirtelescopes,discoveredtheVenusians.JustglimpsingtheVenusiansawakenedfeelingstheyhadneverknown.TheyfellinloveandquicklyinventedspacetravelandflewtoVenus.TheVenusianswelcomedtheMartianswithopenarms.ThelovebetweentheVenusiansandtheMartianswasmagical.Theydelightedinbeingtogether,doingthingstogetherandsharingtogether.BoththeMartiansandtheVenusiansforgotthattheywerefromdifferentplanets,andweresupposedtobedifferent.Andonemorning,everythingtheyhadlearnedabouttheirdifferenceswaserasedfromtheirmemory.Andsincethatday,menandwomenhavebeeninconflict.Themostfrequentlyexpressedcomplaintwomenhaveaboutmenisthatmendon'tlisten.Eitheramancompletelyignoresherwhenshespeaks,orhelistensforafewbeats,assesseswhatisbotheringher,andthenheproudlyputsonhisMr.Fix-ithat(metaphor),andoffersherasolutiontomakeherfeelbetter.Nomatterhowmanytimesshetellshimhe'snotlistening,hedoesn'tgetit,andhekeepsdoingthesamething.Shewantsempathy,hethinksshewantssolutions.Themostfrequentlyexpressedcomplaintmenhaveaboutwomenisthatwomenarealwaystryingtochangethem.Whenawomenlovesaman,shefeelsresponsibletoassisthimimprovethewayhedoesthings.SheformstheHomeImprovementCommittee,andhebecomesherprimaryfocus.Nomatterhowmuchheresistsherhelp,shepersists,waitingforanopportunitytohelphimortotellhimwhattodo.Shethinksshe'snurturinghim,whilehefeelshe'sbeingcontrolled.Martiansvaluepower,competency,efficiency,andachievement.Theirsensesofselfaredefinedthroughtheirabilitytoachieveresults.AchievinggoalsisveryimportanttoaMartian,becauseitisthewayforhimtoprovehiscompetenceandthusfeelgoodabouthimself.Andforhimtofeelgoodabouthimself,hemustachievethosegoalsalone,byhimself.Toofferamanunsolicitedadviceistopresumethathedoesn'tknowwhattodoorthathecan'tdoitonhisown.Menareverytouchyaboutthis,becausetheissueofcompetenceissoveryimportanttothem.However,ifhetrulydoesneedhelp,thenit'sasignofwisdomtogetit.Inthiscase,he'llfindsomeoneherespectsandthentalkabouthisproblem.TalkingaboutaproblemonMarsisaninvitationforadvice.AnotherMartianfeelshonoredbytheopportunity.Automatically,heputsonhisMr.Fix-hat,listensforafewbeats,andthenofferssomejewelsofadvice(metaphor).ThisMartiancustomisoneofthereasonsmeninstinctivelyoffersolutionswhenawomantalksaboutherfeelingsoraboutherproblems.Venusianshavedifferentvalues.Theirsenseofselfisdefinedthroughtheirfeelingsandthequalityoftheirrelationshipsandtheircommunication.Theyexperiencefulfillmentthroughsharingandrelating.Communicationisofprimaryimportance.Tosharetheirpersonalfeelingismuchmoreimportantthanachievinggoalsorsuccess.Talkingandrelatingtooneanotherisasourceoftremendousfulfillment.Insteadofbeinggoal-oriented,womenarerelationship-oriented.Theyaremoreconcernedwithexpressingtheirgoodness,theirlove,theircaring.Venusiansareveryintuitive.Theypridethemselvesonbeingconsiderateoftheneedsandfeelingsofothers.AsignofgreatloveistoofferhelpandassistancetoanotherVenusianwithoutevenbeingasked.Withoutthisinsightintothenatureofmen,it'sveryeasyforawomantounknowinglyandunintentionallyhurtandoffendthemanshelovesmost.Loveismagical,anditcanlastifwerememberourdifferences.