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Someexpertsbelievethatitisbetterforchildrentobeginlearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschool.Dotheadvantagesofthisoutweighthedisadvantages?Foreignlanguageshaveincreasinglygainedpopularityamongstudentstheseyears,giventhattheworldisshrinkingandeachcountrynowhasamorefrequentcontactwiththeoutsideworld.Manypeople[c1]arguethatchildrenshouldbeginlearningaforeignlanguageatelementaryschool,insteadofwaitinguntil[c2]theyentersecondaryschool.Thereareseveralreasonsforthis.Firstly,despitethefactthatparentsdonotwanttoputtoomuchpressureontheirchildren,theyalsodonotwantthemtoloseatthestartingline.Thismeans,ifthekidsstarttolearnaforeignlanguageearly,theirparentsarerelievedfromthethoughtthattheirkidswillhavetocatchuplateron,whichistruetosomeextent.Ontheotherhand,itisscientificallyprovedthatchildrentendtolearnalanguagefasterbeforetheageof12.AsfarasIknow,myfriendswhostartedtolearnEnglishwhentheyweresixorsevennowhaveamuchmoresatisfactoryEnglishlevelthanthosewhostartedat12or13.Soitiswisetohaveforeignlanguagecourseinprimaryschoolcurriculum.Additionally,learningaforeignlanguageatanearlieragecanlaychildrenasolidfoundationforfuturestudying.Ratherthanjustlearningalanguageitself,childrenlearnalotmoreaboutthelearningmethods.Asaresult,whentheyentersecondaryschool,theycanexploremorelanguagesandenrichtheirknowledgebyextensivereadings.Theonlydisadvantageoflearningaforeignlanguageatprimaryschoolmightbeonemorecourseandpressure.However,primaryschoolscanintroduceadvancedteachingmethodstotacklethisproblem,suchasplayinggamesandroleplay,andensurethatchildrencanenjoythelanguagelearningprocess.Inconclusion,theadvantagesoflearningforeignlanguagesatprimaryschoolratherthansecondaryschooloutweighthedisadvantages.注释：[c1]people和expert是有区别的，注意看题目指的是哪类人[c2]tilTotal:(6.5+6.5+7+7.5)/4=7分Taskresponse6.5分1.addressallpartsofthetask7分首先列举的advantages，然后提出disadvantage，紧接着驳斥了这个disadvantage。这一步证明了你都懂题目不仅是要让列举利弊还要做出比较2.presentaclearpositionthroughouttheresponse.7分主体赞成利大于弊，并在说弊的时候有力的反驳了，最后一段明确提出自己的立场。3.mainideasmaybeunclear6分需要改进的段落主体第一段你写的是家长觉得孩子不能输在起跑线，但是题目里面说的是专家提出这个观点，把家长和专家混在一起，混淆了题目观点的出发角度。这里要扣分。需要保持的段落主体第二段用你朋友的经历做例子完全可以！只要支持你的论点就行主体第三段学习一门外语的方法可以应用到其他语言学习上，确实！能看到不同语言的内在联系，很不错！主体第四段驳斥反方观点并提出一些解决方法4.conclusionsmaybecomerepetitive6分不要在结论里面把题目照搬一遍Coherenceandcohesion6.5分1.logicallyorganizeinformationandideas7分2.presentaclearcentraltopicineachparagragh7分我个人比较支持一个段一个点这样能保持段落长度一致同时表意清晰3.mayusecohesivedevicesmechanically6分看下你的主体段落的开头，一下firstly一下ontheotherhand一下additionally这几个连接词属于不同类别建议使用同类连词，如果是firstly那后面就用secondlythirdly,如果是要用ontheotherhand,前面搭配使用ontheonehand。否则给读者的印象是你学过连词但是不太会用。4.另外代词的使用不错，this,it,they都能正确使用Lexicalresources7分1useawiderangeofvocabularyandallowsomeflexibilityandprecision首段的对题目的paraphrase做的相当不错！但是末尾段基本属于照抄题目了，很可能不算在字数里面。建议你学习一下结尾段的写法。定冠词和不定冠词的使用很好活用动词learnlearningteachteaching形容词副词能正确使用2.uselesscommonvocabularywellpopularityfoundationcurriculumsatisfactoryextensive3.useofcollocationLayasolidfoundation,languagelearningprocess,advancedteachingmethod,extensivereadings.Grammar7.5分1useawiderangeofstructures.简单句即符合基本主谓宾结构Thereareseveralreasonsforthis.宾语从句第一段manypeoplearguethatxxx第三段itisscientificallyprovedthatxxx长句第二段despiteofxxx,xxx/第四段ratherthanxxx,xxx第五段第二句话用and连接的两个句子中间还有插入语suchasxxx时间状语从句第三段myfriendswhoxxxxwhentheywerexxx第四段whentheyenterxxx2themajorityofsentencesareerrorfree3makeoccasionalmistakes第四段Ratherthanlearnalanguageitself记得要和后半句的动词形态一致，后面已经是原形learn了，用ratherthan就得用原形。