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从中美家庭教育的差异来分析中国家庭教育的现状TheanalysisoftheactualityofChinesefamilyeducationfromthedifferencebetweenChineseandAmericanfamilyeducation[摘要]家庭是人生的第一所学校，是学校教育的基础和重要补充。一般地说，人都出生和生活在一个家庭中，都是首先通过家庭这个最小的社会基层组织，再进入更广泛的社会生活领域的。因此，对每一个人的成长来说，家庭是第一所学校，父母是第一任教师。家庭对儿童身体的发育，知识的获得，能力的培养，品德的陶冶，个性的形成，都是至关重要的。中美两国在家庭教育上存在着显著的差异，如在家庭成员的相互关系上，我国家长大多处于统治地位，而美国家长更注重与孩子平等相处，他们是尊重自己子女的看法的；在育儿观上，中国家长大都希望孩子能出人头地，而美国家长更看重提高孩子的生存适应能力和创造能力；在教育方式上，中国家长喜欢包办替代，而美国家长更愿意让孩子自己动手实践，这些差异导致了两国儿童成人后在生存适应能力上的明显差距。从中美家庭教育的差异上可以看到我国在家庭教育上存在的不足。因此，正确认识并借鉴国外先进的教育方法，对促进孩子健康成长、提高未来人才的素质具有很重要的现实意义。AbstractFamilyisthefirstschoolofone’slife,whichisalsothebasisandessentialsupplementofformaleducation.Generallyspeaking,family,asthesmallestcellofsociety,isthefirstlifestepforeveryoneasweallwerebornandliveinit,fromwhichweenteralargerandwiderfieldofsociallife.Soasforeveryone,familyisthefirstschoolandparentsarefirstteachersinit.Besides,familyiscloselylinkedtochildren’sbodymaturity,knowledgeacquirement,abilitycultivation,moralityedificationandcharacterformation.AnddistinctdifferencescanbefoundeasilyinfamilyeducationbetweenChinaandAmerica,onthefamilymemberrelationship,parentsaredominantoverchildreninChinawhileequalintheUSA,parentsaremorelikelytoshowrespecttochildren’sopinions.Onthebeliefofraisingchildren,ChineseparentsareunexceptionaltohopetheirchildrentobeoutstandingwithoutregardtotheirownqualitywhileAmericanparentspaymoreattentiontoimprovingchildren’sabilitytosurviveandcreatbasedontheirowninterest.Onthewayofeducation,Chineseparentswillmonopolisealmostchildren’severythingthatshouldbedonebychildrenwhileAmericanparentsaremorewillingtoletchildrendoeverythingallbythemselves.Becauseofthoseabovecauseagreatdisparityinadaptingchangingenvironmentaftertheygrowup.Thusmakingitwithsignificantrealityforchildren’shealthygrowingupandimprovementoffuturetatents’qualitybyrecognisingandlearningforeignadvancedteachingmethodscorrectly,especiallyfromAmerica.[关键词]家庭教育；育儿观；教育方式；教育结果；传统教育；民主教育；现状Keywords:Familyeducation,Beliefofraisingchildren,Waysofeducation,Resultofeducation,Traditionaleducation,Democraticeducation,Actuality家庭教育指的是在家庭互动过程中父母对子女的成长发展所产生的教育影响，也是全社会各个教育环节中最重要的一环。中美两国由于在文化传统、观念意识、生活方式以及社会习俗等方面存在诸多不同之处，导致了两国在家庭教育方面也存在着很多差异，正确认识和了解两国之间的这种差异，对于促进我国当代家庭教育的良性发展有着十分重要的指导作用和现实意义。IntroductionEducation,tosomeextent,isnotonlyasocialactivitytocultivatehumanbeings,butalsoamainwaytopasssocialcultureandexperiencefromgenerationtogeneration.Amongallwaystoeducate,familyeducationistheearliestandthemostimportantone,whichplaysanessentialroleinthemodeofthinkingandtheformationofworldoutlook，whicharecloselyrelatedtochildren’scharacters.Besides,therearemanydifferencesbetweenChinaandtheUSAinfamilyeducation,becauseoftherootdifferencesinculturetradition,ideaandsense,lifestyleandsocialcustoms.Onlybyrecognisingandunderstandingthedifferencesbetweenthecountriescorrectly,canwepromotethepositivedevelopmentoffamilyeducationwithvitalsignificanceindirectionandactuality.RecentlyaChinese-Americanyoungman,JimmyLin,hasprevailedinNBA.Maybeinyourmind,theNBAbelongstotheblackandwhite,fewyellowguyscanbeseenonthathighestlevelofbasketstageexceptYaoMingandYiJianlian.ButYaoMinghasretiredlastsummer,whichleavesusendlessmemoryandpity.WhileYiJianliandoesn’thavemuchchancetoshowinDallasMavericks.Bothofthemhaveasuperiorheight,whichenablesthemagreatadvantageoverothers.Butwithaheightof1.91m,youmaythinkitishardtoshowinCBA,letaloneNBA.ButJimmyLinnotonlydiditbutalsosucceed.Howcanaobscureladwithoutsomanybodyadvantagesjustsucceed?Besides,heisaHarvardgraduate.Whycan’twebringupsomepeoplelikethatwiththelargestpopulationinChina?Theremustbesomethingwrongwithoureducation.Inthisessay,wewillhaveahotdiscussionontheissueandtrytofindoutsomepossiblereasons.中美家庭教育的差异IDifferencesinfamilyeducationbetweenChinaandtheUSA传统的中国式教育强调仁爱与服从，而美国家庭则注重公正和自由。中国家长通常喜欢“塑造”孩子，希望孩子按自己的意愿去发展。他们往往用自己的理性来干涉孩子们的自然发展，因此很大程度上剥夺了孩子自由选择的权利。美国家庭则更重视孩子们的自主权，让孩子学会在社会允许的条件下自己做决定，独立解决自己所遇到的各种问题。其差异大致可归纳为以下几点：TraditionalChineseeducationemphasizesbenevolenceandobedience,whileAmericanfamilypaysmoreattentiontofairnessandfreedom.Chineseparentsliketomoldtheirchildrentomeetparents’unrealisticwishes.Theyusualllyinterferealmosteverythingoftheirchildrenbasedontheirrationalconsideration,whichlargelydeprivestherightsoftheirchildrentochoosefreely.Onthecontrary,Americanchildrenarefreetochoosewhattheylike,supposedtomakeadecisionbythemselveswithinpermissionofsociallawsandsolveanydifficultiestheyencouteredinlifeindependentlythankstotheiruniquefamilyeducationwhichemphasisesmoreonchildren’sindependence.AsfarasIknow,thedistinctdifferencescanbesummedupasbelow.一、两种不同的家庭成员关系1.1Twooppositefamilyrelationships我国当代家庭教育受传统的家庭观念影响，家长总是意味着权威，作为统治者在家庭中处于核心地位。Chineseparentsareauthoritiesofthefamilyallthetimeandpalyadominantroleinthefamilywhichputparentsinthecoreofthefamilybecauseofdeepinfluencesoftraditionalbelievesoffamilyeducation.孩子在父母眼里永远是长不大的，父母对孩子的教导可以持续到孩子长大以后许多年。Childrenwillalwaysbechildrenintheeyeofparentsnomatterhowoldheis,andtheinfluencesinheritedfromtheirparentswillcastashadowontheirmindfordecadesofyears.