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Unit7ThereHasAlwaysBeenOlympicMischiefErichSegalEveryfouryears,whentheOlympicsrollaroundagain,journalistsseemautomaticallytorecyclethosemisty-eyednotionsabout“GoodOldDays.”TheyeulogizetheoriginalGreekGamesasbeingpureanduncommercial.Ifwebelievewhatweread,everyancientcompetitorwasanamateur,andallworshippedfairplay.Thisis,ofcourse,sheernonsense.AsLordByronquipped:“Alltimeswhenoldaregood.”Infact,themythologyofaperfectOlympicsisthemoderninventionofsnobsandself-styledpurists,perpetuatedbysportswriters—andtelevisioncommentatorsatalosstofillairtime.Hereisthenot-so-rosytruth.FromasfarbackasHomer’sIliad—whichportraysgamesofthe12thcenturyB.C.—Greekathletescheatedasamatterofcourse.Theirentireethicwasbasedonwinning—byfairmeansorfoul.Olympicboxershitwheretheyweren’tsupposedto,andtookbribestotakedives.Runnersjumpedthegun(tobeprecise,theGreeksusedatrumpet),andtheyelbowedoneanotherviciouslyonthecurves.Thechariotracerswereevenmorebrutal,especiallyintheGamesheldundertheRomanEmpire.Wehaverecordedcasesofdriversstabbingrivalsastheirvehiclesdrovenecktoneck.Perhapsmostamazingofall,ifitwerelaterprovedthat,say,aboxerorawrestlerhaddishonestlywonthroughbribery—hestilldidn’tlosehistitle.Perhapsyouareaskingwherethejudgeswere.Oh,theGreekshadtheusualreferees,umpires,andsoforth.Butthesearbiterswereoftensusceptibletofinancialenticements—andtreats.Andevenifanhonestjudgewasstationedattheturningpostthattherunnershadtocircle,hestillhadgreatdifficultyindeterminingwhoseelbowwassmashingintowhoseribs,becausetheathletesdidn’twearnumbers.Forthatmatter,theydidn’twearuniformseither.Indeed,onerealdifferencebetweentheancientandmoderngameswasthefactthatalltheGreekathleteswereobligedtocompeteinthenude.YoumightthinkthatthisbarenesswouldhavemadeitimpossibletocommercializetheancientGames.Afterall,thestarscouldn’tbepaidtowearanybody’strackshoesorsweatshirts.Thatmuchistrue,butwewouldbenaivetothinkthattheathletesweretherefore“amateurs.”Then,asnow,theOlympicsmeantbigbucks(sorry,drachmas)forthechampions.AccordingtoarecentbookbyProfessorDavidYoungoftheUniversityofCaliforniaatSantaBarbara,thewinnerofthesprintcould,infact,expecttoearntheancientequivalentofseveralhundredthousanddollars!Tobeginwith,therewastheactualprizemoney.FromatleastthesixthcenturyB.C.theGreeksopenlygavecashawardsforfirstplaceintheOlympics.Afterthattherewerehugefeesthatthesenewlycrownedchampionscoulddemandfor“personalappearances.”No,Iamnotbeinganachronistic.Promotersofminortrackmeets—whichwereoftenheldtoadvertiselocalproducts(!)—wouldforkoverplentytohavethehottestrunnersofthedaymerelyshowup.What’smore,theathletesweregenerallyabsolvedbytheirhometownfrompayingtaxesandweregivenfreemealsforlife.Thus,eveninclassicaltimes,theOlympicswereahighlycommercialaffair.Andtheywerealsohighlypolitical.Therewereferociousrivalriesamongthevariouscity-states,bothfromthemainlandandthevariousGreekcolonies,tohaveoneoftheirownwinabigtitle.Iamnotafraidtonamenames.ThegreatestsprinterinantiquitywasacertainAstylos,whohailedfromCrotona,atinyGreekvillageinItaly.AttheGamesof488B.C.hedazzledallbywinningbothsprintevents.Afterwards,AstyloswasapproachedbysomeboysfromSyracuse,thenarichandgrowingcityinSicily,whomadehimanofferhecouldn’trefuse.Theysuggestedthathechangecitizenshipsohecouldrunfortheircity’steaminthenextOlympics.Thepricewasright.Andthedealpaidoff.IntheGamesofboth484and480,herepeatedhisamazingdouble.ButheenteredtherecordbooksasAstylosofSyracuse.Whichprovesthatmoneycanbuyanything,includingOlympicchampions.LestIbesmirchthenameofagreatathlete,letmehastentosaythatIdonotimplythatAstylosreallycheated.Hesimplyacceptedalotofcashtomovetoabiggerbaseofoperations.Ithappensallthetimetodaywithcorporateexecutives.Letusconcludethisiconoclasticsurveyofancientmisbehaviorwithtworatherbizarreanecdotes.AccordingtotheauthorityofthegreathistorianPlutarch,KingMithridatesofPontus(firstcenturyB.C.)poisonedtherivalcharioteerwhodaredtobeathiminarace.AndfinallytherewasthemultitalentedemperorNero.InA.D.67,hehadtheofficialsholdaspecialGamesatOlympiainhishonor.Helastedabouttwentyyardsandfelloffhischariot.Buthewasnonethelessdeclaredthewinner.Inthisinstance,thejudgeswerenotbribed.Theyweresimplyscared.WhentheGameswererevivedin1896,alltheancientshenaniganswererevivedwiththem.Andastimeprogressed,refinementswereadded.ItalmostgoeswithoutsayingthattheGreeksoverwhelmedtheircountrymanSpiridonLoues,thewinnerofthemarathon,withnumeroustangiblerewards.(Someaccountssayfemalespectatorsthrewtheirjewelsdowntohimonthetrack.)Butletusquicklysayhewonfairandsquare.Andyetwhenhecrossedthefinishline,hewasalittle“high”onmorethanjoy—havingfortifiedhimselfalongtheroadwithswigsofsugaredwine.Bycontrast,thefirstmarathonertoreachthestadiumintheSt.LouisOlympicsin1904wasoneFredLorzoftheUnitedStates.JustbeforePresidentTeddyRoosevelt’sdaughterwastogivehimhismedal,itwasdiscoveredthatLorzhadnot,afterall,gonetheentiredistanceunderhisownsteam.Havingcrampedupataboutninemiles,heacceptedaridefromapassingcar.Buttheautoalsocrampedupalittlelater,andLorzjumpedoutandjoggedtherestofthewaytothestadium,arri