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Scriptcompiledby„TheBigBangTheory“fans!THEBIGBANGTHEORYbyChuckLorre&BillPradySeason1,Episode2(s01e02)Title:TheBigBranHypothesis---Dialogonly---LEONARDHereyougo.Padthai,nopeanuts.HOWARDDoesithavepeanutoil?LEONARDI'mnotsure.EveryonekeepaneyeonHowardincasehestartstoswellup.SHELDONSinceit'snotbeeseason,youcanhavemyepinephrine.RAJESHArethereanychopsticks?SHELDONYoudon'tneedchopsticks.ThisisThaifood.LEONARDHerewego.SHELDONThailandhashadtheforksincethelatterhalfofthe19thcentury.Interestinglytheydon'tputtheforkintheirmouththeyuseittoputthefoodonaspoonwhichthengoesintotheirmouth.LEONARDAskhimforanapkin,Idareyou.I'llgetit.HOWARDDoIlookpuffy?Ifeelpuffy.PENNYHey,Leonard.LEONARDOh,hi,Penny.PENNYAmIinterrupting?LEONARDNo.SHELDONYou'renotswelling,Howard.HOWARDNo,no,lookatmyfingers.They'relikeViennasausages.PENNYSoundslikeyouhavecompany.LEONARDThey'renotgoinganywhere.So,you'recominghomefromwork.That'sgreat.Howwaswork?PENNYWell,youknow,it'saCheesecakeFactory.PeopleordercheesecakeandIbringitto'em.LEONARDSoyoukindofactaslikeacarbohydratedeliverysystem?PENNYMm...Yeah,callitwhateveryouwant,Igetminimumwage.Yeah.Um,anywaysIwaswonderingifyoucouldhelpmeoutwithsomething,I'mkinda...LEONARDYes.PENNYOh.Okay,great,I'mhavingsomefurnituredeliveredtomorrowandImaynotbehere,so,oh...Hello.HOWARD[speaksinRussian]PENNYI'msorry?HOWARDHaven'tyoueverbeentoldhowbeautifulyouareinflawlessRussian?PENNYNo,Ihaven't.HOWARDGetusedtoit.PENNYYeah,Iprobablywon't.Hey,Sheldon.SHELDONHi.PENNYHey,Raj.Stillnottalkingtome,huh?SHELDONDon'ttakeitpersonally,it'shispathology.Hecan'ttalktowomen.HOWARDHecan'ttalktoatractivewomen,orinyourcase,acheesecake-scentedgoddess.LEONARDSothere'sgonnabesomefurnituredelivered?PENNYYeah,yeah.IfitgetshereandI'mnotheretomorrow,couldyoujustsignforitandhavethemputitinmyapartment?LEONARDYeah,noproblem.PENNYGreat,here'smysparekey.Thankyou.LEONARDPenny,wait.PENNYYeah?LEONARDUm...Ifyoudon'thaveanyotherplans,doyouwanttojoinusforThaifoodandaSupermanmoviemarathon?PENNYAmarathon?Wow,howmanySupermanmoviesarethere?SHELDONYou'rekidding,right?PENNYYeah,IdoliketheonewhereLoisLanefallsfromthehelicopterandSupermanswooshesdownandcatchesher.Whichonewasthat?LEONARD,SHELDON,HOWARD,RAJESHOne.SHELDONYourealizethatscenewasrifewithscientificinaccuracy.PENNYYes,Iknow,mencan'tfly.SHELDONNo,no.Let'sassumethattheycan.Ahem.LoisLaneisfalling.Acceleratingataninitialrateof32feetpersecondpersecond.Supermanswoopsdowntosaveherbyreachingouttwoarmsofsteel.MissLane,whoisnowtravelingatapproximately120milesanhour,hitsthemandisimmediatelyslicedintothreeequalpieces.LEONARDUnlessSupermanmatchesherspeedanddecelerates.SHELDONInwhatspace,sir?Inwhatspace?She's2feetabovetheground.Yeah,frankly,ifhereallylovedher,he'dletherhitthepavement.It'dbeamoremercifuldeath.LEONARDExcuseme,yourentireargumentispredicatedontheassumptionthatSuperman'sflightisafeatofstrength.SHELDONAreyoulisteningtoyourself?ItiswellestablishedthatSuperman'sflightisafeatofstrength.Itisanextensionofhisabilitytoleaptallbuildings,anabilityhederivesfromexposuretoEarth'syellowsun.HOWARDYeahandyoudon'thaveaproblemwiththat?Howdoesheflyatnight?SHELDONOh.Acombinationofthemoon'ssolarreflectionandtheenergy-storagecapacityofKryptonianskincells.PENNYI'mjustgonnagowashup.LEONARDIhave2600comicbooksinthere.IchallengeyoutofindasinglereferencetoKryptonianskincells.SHELDONChallengeaccepted.We'relockedout.RAJESHAlso,theprettygirlleft.============================================THEMESONG===========================================LEONARDOkay.Herapartment'sonthefourthfloor,buttheelevator'sbroken,soyou'regonnahaveto...Oh,your'rejustgonnabedone?Okay,cool,thanks.Iguesswe'lljustbringitupourselves.SHELDONIhardlythinkso.LEONARDWhynot?SHELDONWell,wedon'thaveadollyorliftingbeltsoranymeasurableupper-bodystrength.LEONARDWedon'tneedstrength.We'rephysicists.WearetheintellectualdescendantsofArchimedes.GivemeafulcrumandaleverandIcanmovetheEarth.It'sjustamatter...Idon'thavethis.Idon'thavethis!Idon'thavethis.SHELDONArchimedeswouldbesoproud.LEONARDDoyouhaveanyideas?SHELDONYes,buttheyallinvolveaGreenLanternandapowerring.LEONARDEasy.SHELDONEasy.LEONARDOkay.Nowwe'vegotaninclinedplane.Theforcerequiredtoliftisreducedbythesineoftheangleofthestairs,callit30degrees,so,abouthalf.SHELDONExactlyhalf.LEONARDExactlyhalf.Let'spush.Okay.See,it'smoving.Thisiseasy.It'sallinthemath.SHELDONWhat'syourformulaforthecorner?LEONARDWhat?Oh,okay.Ah.Okay,yeah,noproblem.Justcomeuphere,helpmepullandturn.SHELDONAh,gravity,thouartaheartlessbitch.Youdounderstandthatoureffortsherewillinnowayincreasetheoddsofyouhavingsexualcongresswiththiswoman.LEONARDMendothingsforwomenwithoutexpectingsex.SHELDONYeah,thosewouldbemenwhojusthadsex.LEONARDI'mdoingthistobeagoodneighbor.Inanycase,there'snowayitcouldlowertheodds.Almostthere.Almostthere.Almostthere.SHELDONNo,we'renot.LEONARDI'msorry.SHELDONNo,we'renot!No,we'renot!Watchyourfingers.Watchyourfingers.LEONARDYeah.SHELDONOhGod,myfingers!LEONARDYouokay?SHELDONNo,ithurt...GreatCaesar'sghost,lookatthisplace.LEONA