DESPERATEHOUSEWIVES1X01:PILOT------------------------------------------------------------OPENON:[EXT.WISTERIALANE---MORNING](Aschoolbusdrivesuptheroad.FriendlyGoodMorningareexchangedbetweenneighbors.Awomanpushesababycarriagealong,whileacarpullsoutofadrivewayanddrivesdowntheroad.GABRIELLEjogspastafenceonthesidewalk.Panto:(EXT.YOUNGHOUSE-FRONTYARD)(MARYALICEcomesoutofherfrontdooranddowntheporchsteps,carryingabasketofflowers.Shekneelsinfrontofherflowerbed,andsmellsaflower,smilingfaintly.)NARRATOR:MynameisMaryAliceYoung.Whenyoureadthismorning'spaper,youmaycomeacrossanarticleabouttheunusualdayIhadlastweek.Normally,there'sneveranythingnewsworthyaboutmylife.ThatallchangedlastThursday.Ofcourseeverythingseemedasnormalatfirst.Imademybreakfastformyfamily.(Cutto:MARYALICE,carryingaplateofwafflestothebreakfasttable,wherePAULandZACHaresitting.ShepassestheplatetoPAUL.)MARYALICE::Hereweare.Waffles.NARRATOR:Iperformedmychores.(Cutto:MARYALICE,flippingaswitchonthewashingmachine,andthenliftingabasketofclothingoffthemachine.NARRATOR:Icompletedmyprojects.(Cutto:MARYALICE,stirringapaintbrushinacanofpaintandpaintingagardenchair)NARRATOR:Iranmyerrands(Cutto:MARYALICEpickingupthedry-cleaning,thenretrievingthemailfromthemailbox.)NARRATOR:Intruth,IspentthedayasIspendeveryotherday-quietlypolishingtheroutineofmylifeuntilitgleamedwithperfection.(Cutto:MARYALICE,straighteningaphotoframesontopofthepiano.Shesighswithsatisfaction,acontentedsmileonherface.)NARRATOR:That'swhyitwassoastonishingwhenIdecidedtogotomyhallwayclosettoretrievearevolverthathadneverbeenused.(Cutto:MARYALICEtakesaboxoffashelfinthecloset.Lookingworriedanddistraught,sheshakilyputsarevolvertohertemple.Weseeafingerpullingthetrigger,andaloudshotisheard.ThecamerastaysontheYOUNGfamilypicture,astheblurredreflectionofMARYALICEisshownintheframeofthepicturefallingtotheground.)(Cutto:MRS.HUBER'SHOUSE-KITCHEN)(MRS.HUBER'sfingerdipsintoapoolofredsauce(resemblingblood).Shelicksthesauceonherfinger,assheturnsherheadtowardstheYOUNGhouse,puzzledbythesoundshe'sheard.)NARRATOR:Mybodywasdiscoveredbymyneighbor,Mrs.MarthaHuber,whohadbeenstartledbyastrangepoppingsound.Hercuriosityaroused,Mrs.Hubertriedtothinkofareasonfordroppinginonmeunannounced.Aftersomeinitialhesitation,shedecidedtoreturntheblendershehadborrowedfromme6monthsbefore.(MRS.HUBERtakesablenderlabeledPropertyofMARYALICEYOUNGoffashelf,andhurriesnextdoortoringthedoorbell.Hearingnoanswer,shehurriestothesideofthehouse,whereshepeersinsidethewindowandseesMARYALICE'sdeadbodylyingontheground,apoolofbloodnexttoher.Shescreams.WeseeMRS.HUBERhurrybacktoherownhouse.)MRSHUBER:(onthephone)It'smyneighbor.Ithinkshe'sbeenshot,there'sbloodeverywhere.Yes,you'vegottosendanambulance.You'vegottosendonerightnow!(MRS.HUBERhangsupthephone.Shestandsinthekitchen,lipstrembling,fightingtears.)NARRATOR:Andforamoment,Mrs.Huberstoodmotionlessinherkitchen,grief-strickenbythissenselesstragedy.But,onlyforamoment.(MRS.HUBERturnsherheadsideways,noticingtheblendersittingonthekitchencounter.Sheripsthelabelofftheblender,andputsitbackonhershelf.)NARRATOR:IftherewasonethingMrs.Huberwasknownfor,itwasherabilitytolookonthebrightside.(MRS.HUBERshutsthecupboarddoor.)OPENINGCREDITS------------------------------------------------------------CUTTO:[EXT.WISTERIALANE--DAY](ResidentswearingblackclothingandbearingplatesandbasketsoffoodarewalkingtowardstheYOUNGhousehold)NARRATOR:IwaslaidtorestonaMonday.Afterthefuneral,alltheresidentsofWisteriaLanecametopaytheirrespects.Andaspeopledointhissituation,theybroughtfood.(Panto:LYNETTE,holdingaplateoffriedchickenwithonehandasshewalks.)NARRATOR:LynetteScavobroughtfriedchicken.Lynettehadagreatfamilyrecipeforfriedchicken.(Flashbackto:LYNETTEtalkinganimatedlyinaconferenceroomasshepointsataprojectedscreenwithchartsandfigures,aroomfullofcorporatebusinesspeopletakingnotesorwatchingassheshowsherpresentation,smilingwithconfidence.)NARRATOR:Ofcourse,shedidn'tcookmuchasshewasmovingupthecorporateladder.Shedidn'thavethetime.(Fadeto:Thedoctor'soffice,whereheperformsasonogramonLYNETTE'sexposedbelly,asLYNETTEliesinachairwatchingthescreen,laughingwithexcitement.Herhusband,TOM,sitsnexttoherashewatcheswithamazementatthesonogram,holdingLYNETTE'shand.)NARRATOR:ButwhenherdoctorannouncedLynettewaspregnant,herhusbandTomhadanidea.Whynotquityourjob?Kidsdomuchbetterwithstayathomemums;itwassomuchlessstressful.(WeseeTOMgesturing,talkinganimatedlyasheproposesthisideatoLYNETTE,whonodshesitantlyinagreementasshelooksathim.)NARRATOR:Butthiswasnotthecase.(Endofflashback.Resumetopresent.)(LYNETTEpushesababycarriagewithherfreehand,lookingweary.TheSCAVOchildren,TwinsPRESTON&PORTER,andtheyoungerbrotherPARKER,jostleeachotherastheywalkonthesidewalkinfrontofthecarriage,bickeringrowdilywitheachother.)NARRATOR:Infact,Lynette'slifehadbecomesohecticshewasnowforcedtogetherchickenfromafastfoodrestaurant.Lynettewouldhaveappreciatedtheironyofitifshestoppedtothinkaboutit,butshecouldn't.Shedidn'thavethetime.(LYNETTEpushesinfrontofthe3boys,tryingtoseparatethem.)LYNETTE:Hey,hey,hey,hey!(Shekneelsin