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丁小文：Rachel王润苗：Monica朱楠楠：Phoebe宋明冬：Chandler刘阿庆：Ross杨鹏：Joey[Scene:CentralPark,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]CentralPark:中央公园，坐落于纽约曼哈顿市中心-Monica:There'snothingtotell!He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！-Joey:C'mon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！-Chandler:AllrightJoey,benice.Sodoeshehaveahump?Ahumpandahairpiece?打住，Joey，嘴下留德。他驼背？既驼背又带假发？-Phoebe:Wait,doesheeatchalk?慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(Theyallstare,bemused.)stare:盯，凝视bemuse:发呆-Phoebe:Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!我只是不想她重蹈我和Carl的覆辙。-Monica:Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerandnothavingsex.各位别急，这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐，而且没做爱。-Chandler:Soundslikeadatetome.听起来好像是说我的约会。[TimeLapse]lapse:飞逝-Chandler:Alright,soI'mbackinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynaked.记得中学时代的梦，我站在自助餐厅，突然发现自己全身赤裸。-All:Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.我做过那样的梦。-Chandler:ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...there.我低头一看，看见有一支电话……在那儿。-Joey:Insteadof...?而不是……？-Chandler:That'sright.没错。-Joey:Neverhadthatdream.我没做过那样的梦-Phoebe:No.没有。-Chandler:Allofasudden,thephonestartstoring.NowIdon'tknowwhattodo,everybodystartslookingatme.那支电话突然响起，而我不知道怎么办，每个人都开始望着我。-Monica:Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore?!他们以前不看你吗？！-Chandler:Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme!终于，我认为我应该接，结果是我妈打来，我感到很奇怪，因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！[TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]enter:进来-Ross:(mortified)Hi.嗨。-Joey:Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.wanna=wantto仅用口语这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。-Monica:Areyouokay,sweetie?你还好吧？-Ross:Ijustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙，抓起我的肠子，从我的口中取出，然后绑在我脖子上……【《大话西游》里面一开始孙猴子发狠就是这样子讲的，不知道是谁抄袭谁，这里Ross用来形容妻子Carol是Lesbian并同他离婚后的心情。】-Chandler:Cookie?饼干？-Monica:(explainingtotheothers)Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.Carol今天把她的东西搬走了。-Joey:Ohh.哦-Monica:(toRoss)Letmegetyousomecoffee.我帮你泡杯咖啡-Ross:Thanks.谢谢-Phoebe:Ooh!Oh!(ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.)哦…-Ross:No,nodon't!Stopcleansingmyaura!No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?【然后当Ross坐下来之后，旁边的Phoebe想帮Ross除下晦气（Phoebe就是这么的相信神鬼之说）】不要……别清理我的灵气。可是……别碰我的灵气就是了。-Phoebe:Fine!Bemurky!好吧，保持晦气！-Ross:I'llbefine,alright?Really,everyone.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.我会没事的，真的，我祝她幸福。-Monica:Noyoudon't.不，你不会的。-Ross:NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!我不会的，去她的，她甩掉我！-Joey:Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。-Ross:No!!Okay?!Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?Shedidn'tknow,howshouldIknow?【Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?意思是为什么你们总是提起那件事呢？因为Joey又提到了Ross妻子Carol是lesbian的事儿，Ross非常恼火，于是冒出这样一句】没有！！行了吧？！为何大家都围着这个话题打转？连她不知道，我怎会知道。-Chandler:SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...(Theyallstareathim.)DidIsaythatoutloud?有时真希望自己也是个女同志。我刚刚大声说出来了吗？-Ross:Itoldmomanddadlastnight,theyseemedtotakeitprettywell.昨晚我告诉我父母，他们好像还挺好。-Monica:Ohreally,sothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatsobbing3:00A.M.,真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话，一个女人歇斯底里地向我哭诉，I'llneverhavegrandchildren,I'llneverhavegrandchildren.waswhat?Awrongnumber?grandchildren:孙儿女们“我不能抱孙子了，我不能抱孙子了。”那是什么？打错了？-Ross:Sorry.对不起-Joey:AlrightRoss,look.You'refeelingalotofpainrightnow.You'reangry.You'rehurting.CanItellyouwhattheansweris?别闷闷不乐了，Ross。你现在很痛苦。你一肚子火,心如刀割。我能告诉你解决之道吗？(Rossgestureshisconsent.)-Joey:Stripjoint!C'mon,you'resingle!Havesomehormones!脱衣舞酒店。你单身，有性需求。-Ross:Idon'twanttobesingle,okay?Ijust...Ijust-Ijustwannabemarriedagain!我不想单身的。我只想再结婚。(Rachelentersinawetweddingdressandstartstosearchtheroom.)-Chandler:AndIjustwantamilliondollars!(Heextendshishandhopefully.)我只想要一百万！-Monica:Rachel?!Rachel?-Rachel:OhGodMonicahi!ThankGod!天啊，Monica，谢天谢地！Ijustwenttoyourbuildingandyouweren'tthereandthenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumightbehereandyouare,youare!我到过你的住处，你不在。有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿，结果你真的在这儿。-Waitress:CanIgetyousomecoffee?来杯咖啡吗？-Monica:(pointingatRachel)De-caff.(toAll)Okay,everybody,thisisRachel,anotherLincolnHighsurvivor.无咖啡因的,各位，她叫Rachel，另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。(toRachel)Thisiseverybody,thisisChandler,andPhoebe,andJoey,and-youremembermybrotherRoss?这位叫Chandler，Phoebe，Joey。还记得我哥Ross吗？-Rachel:Hi,sure!当然，嗨。-Ross:Hi.嗨(TheygotohugbutRoss'sumbrellaopens.Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain.AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitsandtheothersexpecthertoexplain.)-Monica:Soyouwannatellusnow,orarewewaitingforwetbridesmaids?wanna=wanttobridesmaids:伴娘你想现在告诉我们，还是等伴娘来再说？-Rachel:OhGod...well,itstartedaboutahalfhourbeforethewedding.婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。Iwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresents,我在堆放礼物的房间里，andIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.看着船形卤肉盘，ThisreallygorgeousLamaugegravyboat.非常漂亮的船形卤肉盘，Whenallofasudden突然间….(tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee)waitress:女服务员-Rachel:Sweet'n'Low?低糖吗？IrealizedthatIwasmoreturnedonbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!我了解船形卤肉盘此Barry更能引起我的“性趣”AndthenIgotreallyfreakedout,我自己都吓了一跳，andthat'swhenithitme:howmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.Barry愈看愈像猪头先生。Youknow,Imean,Ialwaysknewlookedfamiliar,我一直都认为他很眼熟。but...Anyway,Ijusthadtogetoutofthere,总之,我必须离开。andIstartedwondering'WhyamIdoingthis,andwhoamIdoingthisfor?'.我开始想，我为何这么做？我为谁这样做？(toMonica)SoanywayIjustdidn'tknowwheretogo,于是我