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1．AprivateconversationLastweekIwenttothetheatre.Ihadaverygoodseat.Theplaywasveryinteresting.Ididnotenjoyit.Ayoungmanandayoungwomanweresittingbehindme.Theyweretalkingloudly.Igotveryangry.Icouldnotheartheactors.Iturnedround.Ilookedatthemanandthewomanangrily.Theydidnotpayanyattention.Intheend,Icouldnotbearit.Iturnedroundagain.Icanthearaword!Isaidangrily.Itsnoneofyourbusiness,theyoungmansaidrudely.Thisisaprivateconversation!2．Breakfastorlunch?ItwasSunday.InevergetupearlyonSundays.Isometimesstayinbeduntillunchtime.LastSundayIgotupverylate.Ilookedoutofthewindow.Itwasdarkoutside.Whataday!Ithought.It’srainingagain.Justthen,thetelephonerang.ItwasmyauntLucy.I’vejustarrivedbytrain,shesaid.I‘mcomingtoseeyou.ButI’mstillhavingbreakfast,Isaid.Whatareyoudoing?sheasked.Imhavingbreakfast,Irepeated.Dearme,shesaid.Doyoualwaysgetupsolate?It‘soneoclock!3．PleaseSendMeaCardPostcardsalwaysspoilmyholidays.Lastsummer,IwenttoItaly.Ivisitedmuseumsandsatinpublicgardens.AfriendlywaitertaughtmeafewwordsofItalian.Thenhelentmeabook.Ireadafewlines,butIdidnotunderstandaword.EverydayIthoughtaboutpostcards.Myholidayspassedquickly,butIdidnotsendcardstomyfriends.OnthelastdayImadeabigdecision.Igotupearlyandboughtthirty-sevencards.Ispentthewholedayinmyroom,butIdidnotwriteasinglecard!4.AnexcitingtripIhavejustreceivedaletterfrommybrother,Tim.HeisinAustralia.Hehasbeenthereforsixmonths.Timisanengineer.HeisworkingforabigfirmandhehasalreadyvisitedagreatnumberofdifferentplacesinAustralia.HehasjustboughtanAustraliancarandhasgonetoAlicesprings,asmalltowninthecentreofAustralia.HewillsoonvisitDarwin.Fromthere,hewillflytoPerth.Mybrotherhasneverbeenabroadbefore,soheisfendingthistripveryexciting.5．NowrongnumbersMr.JamesScotthasagarageinSilburyandnowhehasjustboughtanothergarageinPinhurst.PinhurstisonlyfivemilesfromSilbury,butMr.Scottcannotgetatelephoneforhisnewgarage,sohehasjustboughttwelvepigeons.Yesterday,apigeoncarriedthefirstmessagefromPinhursttoSilbury.Thebirdcoveredthedistanceinthreeminutes.Uptonow,Mr.Scotthassentagreatmanyrequestsforsparepartsandotherurgentmessagesfromonegaragetotheother.Inthisway,hehasbegunhisownprivatetelephoneservice.6．PercyButtonsIhavejustmovedtoahouseinBridgeStreet.Yesterdayabeggarknockedatmydoor.Heaskedmeforamealandaglassofbeer.Inreturnforthis,thebeggarstoodonhisheadandsangsongs.Igavehimameal.Heatethefoodanddrankthebeer.Thenheputapieceofcheeseinhispocketandwentaway.Lateraneighbourtoldmeabouthim.Everybodyknowshim.HisnameisPercyButtons.Hecallsateveryhouseinthestreetonceamonthandalwaysasksforamealandaglassofbeer.7。ToolateTheplanewaslateanddetectiveswerewaitingattheairportallmorning.TheywereexpectingavaluableparcelofdiamondsfromSouthAfrica.Afewhoursearlier,someonehadtoldthepolicethatthieveswouldtrytostealthediamonds.Whentheplanearrived,someofthedetectiveswerewaitinginsidethemainbuildingwhileotherswerewaitingontheairfield.TwomentooktheparcelofftheplaneandcarrieditintotheCustomsHouse.Whiletwodetectiveswerekeepingguardatthedoor,twoothersopenedtheparcel.Totheirsurprise,thepreciousparcelwasfullofstonesandsand!8．ThebestandtheworstJoeSandershasthemostbeautifulgardeninourtown.NearlyeverybodyentersforTheNicestGardenCompetitioneachyear,butJoewinseverytime.BillFrithsgardenislargerthanJoes.BillworksharderthanJoeandgrowsmoreflowersandvegetables,butJoesgardenismoreinteresting.Hehasmadeneatpathsandhasbuiltawoodenbridgeoverapool.Ilikegardenstoo,butIdonotlikehardwork.EveryyearIenterforthegardencompetitiontoo,andIalwayswinalittleprizefortheworstgardeninthetown!9．AcoldwelcomeOnWednesdayevening,wewenttotheTownHall.ItwasthelastdayoftheyearandalargecrowdofpeoplehadgatheredundertheTownHallclock.Itwouldstriketwelveintwentyminutestime.Fifteenminutespassedandthen,atfivetotwelve,theclockstopped.Thebigminutehanddidnotmove.Wewaitedandwaited,butnothinghappened.Suddenlysomeoneshouted.Itstwominutespasttwelve!Theclockhasstopped!Ilookedatmywatch.Itwastrue.ThebigclockrefusedtowelcometheNewYear.Atthatmoment,everybodybegantolaughandsing.10．NotforjazzWehaveanoldmusicalinstrument.Itiscalledaclavichord.ItwasmadeinGermanyin1681.Ourclavichordiskeptinthelivingroom.Ithasbelongedtoourfamilyforalongtime.Theinstrumentwasboughtbymygrandfathermanyyearsago.Recentlyitwasdamagedbyavisitor.Shetriedtoplayjazzonit!Shestruckthekeystoohardandtwoofthestringswerebroken.Myfatherwasshocked.Nowwearenotallowedtotouchit.Itisbeingrepairedbyafriendofmyfathers.11．OnegoodturndeservesanotherIwashavingdinneratarestaurantwhenTonySteelecamein.Tonyworkedinalawyersofficeyearsago,butheisnowworkingatabank.Hegetsagoodsalary,buthealwaysborrowsmoneyfromhisfriendsandneverpaysitback.Tonysawmeandcameandsatatthesametable.Hehasneverborrowedmoneyfromme.Whilehewaseating,Iaskedhimtolendmetwentypounds.Tomysurprise,hegavemethemoneyimmediately.Ihaveneverborrowedanymoneyfromyou,Tonysaid,sonowyoucanpayformydinner!12．GoodbyeandgoodluckOurneighbour,CaptainCharlesAlison,willsailfromPortsmouthtomorrow.Wellmeethimattheharbourearlyinthemorning.Hewillbeinhissmallboat,Topsail.Topsailisafamouslittleboat.IthassailedacrosstheAtlanticmanyt