OSLOIrememberonmyfirsttriptoEuropegoingalonetoamovieinCopenhagen.InDenmarkyouaregivenaticketforanassignedseat.Iwentintothecinemaanddiscoveredthatmyticketdirectedmetositbesidetheonlyotherpeopleintheplace,ayoungcouplelockedinthesortofpassionateembraceassociatedwithdocksidereunionsattheendoflongwars.IcouldnomorehavesatbesidethemthanIcouldhaveasktojoinin--itwouldhavecometomushthesamething--soItookaplaceafewdiscreetseatsaway.1记得我第一次去欧洲旅行的时候,我在哥本哈根独自一人去看电影。在丹麦,电影票是对号入座的。(此文来自袁勇兵博客)我走进电影院,发现在我的票对应的座位旁,只有一对年轻情侣。这对情侣如胶似漆地拥抱在一起,如同一场持久战争结束后码头上亲人的团聚。我很不情愿坐在他们旁边,就如我绝不会要求加入他们的行为一样——这两者对我来说并没有什么不同——因此我谨慎地隔几个座位坐了下来。Peoplecameintothecinema,consultedtheirticketandfilledtheseatsaroundus.Bythetimethefilmstartedtherewereabout30ofussittingtogetherinatightpackinthemiddleofvastandotherwiseemptyauditorium.Twominutesintothemovie,awomanladenwithshoppinngmadeherwaywithdifficultydownmyrow,stoppedbesidemyseatandtoldmeinasternvoice,fullofglottalstopsandindignation,thatIwasinherplace.Thiscausemuchpalyofflashlightsamongtheusherettesandfretfulre-examiningofticketsbyeveryoneinthevicinityuntilwordgotaroundthatIwasanAmericantouristandthereforeunabletofollowsimpleseatinginstructionsandIwasescortedinsomeshamebacktomyassignedplace.2人们陆续地走进影院,参照电影票找到位子,在我们周围坐了下来。电影开场时,这个宽敞空旷的观众席中间,扎堆地坐了约30人。电影开场两分钟后,一个拎着大包小包购物袋的女士艰难地挤到我这排,在我座位旁停下,并用严厉的口吻愤怒地朝我用充满了喉塞音的丹麦语说道,我坐在了她的位子上。女引座员马上打开手电筒查看情况,身边所有的人都不安地重新确认自己票上的座位号,直到大家都清楚了,我是一个美国游客,因此没有遵循简单的就座指示。在羞愧中我被送回指定的位子。Sowesattogetherandwatchthemovie,30ofuscrowedtogetherlikerefugeesinanoverloadedlifeboat,rubbingshouldersandsharingsmallnoises,anditoccurredtomethenthattherecertainthingsthatsomenationsdobetterthaneveryoneelseandcertainthingsthattheydofarworseandIbegantowonderwhythatshouldbe.接下来我们坐在一起看电影,30人如同一艘超载的救生船上的难民一般挤作一团。肩膀相互摩擦着,忍受着各种细小的噪声。那时我想,有些国家在某些事情上做的比任何其他国家都好,然而在另外一些事情上,他们却糟糕很多。我开始思考为何会有如此反差。Sometimesanation'slittlecontrivancesaresosingularandcleverthatweassociatethemwiththatcountryalone-double-deckerbusesinBritain,windmillsinHolland(whataninspriredadditiontoaflatlandscape:thinkhowtheywouldtransformNebraska),sidewalkcafesinParis.Andyettherearesomethingsthatmostcountriesdowithoutdifficlutythatotherscannotgetagraspofatall.有时候某个国家的小发明是如此独特和精巧,以至于我们总是由它而联想到这个国家——英国的双层巴士,荷兰的风车(给原本单调的景观增添了多么美妙的创意:想想这些风车是如何改变了内布拉斯加州),还有巴黎人行道上的露天咖啡馆。然而,也有一些事情,大部分国家能不费吹灰之力地办到,但某些国家却完全想不到。TheFrench,forinstance,cannotgetthehangofqueuing.Theytryandtry,butitisbeyondthem.WhereveryougoinParis,youseeorderlylineswaitingatbusstops,butassoonasthebuspullsupthelineinstantlydisintegretesintosomethinglikeafiredrillatalunaticasylumaseveryonescramblestobethefistaboard,quitunawarethatthisdefeatsthewholepurposeofqueuing.比如说,法国人无法掌握排队的窍门。他们一遍遍地尝试,但这似乎超出了他们的能力范围。无论你去巴黎的任何地方,总会看到整齐的队伍在公交车站候车。但一旦公交车靠站,队伍立刻瓦解,就像精神病院的消防演习一样,所有人都争抢着第一个上车,完全没意识到,这样一来排队的意义就荡然无存了。TheBritish,ontheotherhand,donotunderstandcertainofthefundamentalsofeating,asevidencedbytheirinstincttoconsumehamburgerswithakinfeandfork.Tomycontinuingamazement,manyofthemalsoturntheirforkupside-downandbalancethefoodonthebackofit.I'velivedinEnglandforadecadeandahalfandIstillhavetoquellanimpulsetogouptostrangersinpubsandrestaurantsandsay,Excuseme,canIgiveyouatipthat'llhelpthosepeasbouncingalloverthetable?另一方面,英国人则不能领略吃的基本要领。证据就是他们本能地使用刀叉来食用汉堡。更令我惊讶的是,他们大多数都把叉子颠倒放置,将食物搁在它的背上。我已经在英国居住了15年,但我仍不得不压制这种冲动,想要走向酒吧或餐馆里的陌生人说:“打扰一下,可以允许我告诉你一个小技巧吗?那样你就不会把豆子散落在整张桌子上了。Germansareflummoxedbyhumor,theSwisshavenoconceptoffun,theSpanishthinkthereisnothingatallridiculousabouteatingdinneratmidnight,andtheItaliansshouldnever,everhavebeenletinontheinventionofthemotorcar.德国人被幽默困扰,瑞士人对乐趣毫无概念,西班牙人丝毫不觉得在半夜吃晚饭有什么滑稽之处,而意大利人从不,也绝不会让别人告诉他们汽车是如何发明的。OneofthesmallmarvelsofmyfirsttriptoEuropewasthediscoverythattheworldcouldbesofullofvariety,thatthereweresomanydifferentofdoingessentiallyidenticalthings,likeeatinganddrinkingandbuyingcinematickets.ItfascinatedmethatEuropeanscouldatoncebesoalike-thattheycouldbesouniversallybookishandcerebral,anddrivesmallcars,andliveinlittlehousesinancienttowns,andlovesoccer,andberelativelyunmaterialisticandlaw-abiding,andhavechillyhotelroomsandcosyandinvitingplacestoeatanddrink-andyetbesoendlessly,unpredictablydifferentfromeachotheraswell.IlovetheideathatyoucouldneverbesureofanythinginEurope.这次欧洲之旅带给我很多惊奇的小事,其中一个就是我发现世界竟能如此多样化,对于本质上相同的事物处理起来却方式各异,比如说吃喝或是买电影票。有趣的是,欧洲人有时可以突然变得如此相似——他们普遍好学而理性,开着小车,住在古镇的小房子里,喜欢足球,不怎么注重物质生活,遵纪守法,而且他们住寒冷的宾馆房间,去温暖舒适的地方吃喝——然而却同时拥有着如此琢磨不透、永无止尽的差异。在欧洲没有什么是百分之百肯定的,对此我十分赞同。Istillenjoythatsenseofneverknowingquitewhat’sgoingon.InmyhotelinOslo,whereIspentfourdaysafterreturningfromHammerfest,thechambermaideachmorningleftmeapacketofsomethingcalledbiotexbla,a“minipakkeforrerie,hyberogweekend”,accordingtotheinstruction,Ispentmanyhappyhourssniffingitandexperimentingwithit,uncertainwhetheritwasforwashingoutclothesorgarglingorcleaningthetoiletbowl.IntheendIdecideditwasforwashingoutclothes—itworkedatreat—butforallIknowfortherestoftheweekeverywhereIwentinoslopeopleweresayingtoeachother,”youknow,thatmansmelledliketoilet-bowlcleaner.”我仍然享受着对事情进展的未知感。从哈默菲斯特返回后,我在奥斯陆的宾馆呆了四天,女服务员每天早上都留给我一盒叫做BioTexBla的东