搜索
1TheSwingByMaryGavellAsshegrewold,shebegantodreamagain.Shehadnotdreamedmuchinhermiddleyears;or,ifshehad,thebusynessofherdays,convergingonherthemomentsheawoke,hadpushedherdreamsrightoutofherhead,andanyfragmentsthatremainedwereasbusyandprosaicasthedayitself.Shehadonlytheoneson,James,butshehadalsomotheredheryoungersisteraftertheirparentsdied,andshehaddonealloftheofficeworkduringtheyearswhenherhusband’ssmallengineeringfirmwasgettingonitsfeet.AndJulius’shealthhadnotbeentoogood,eventhen;itwasshewhohadmowedthelawnandhadhelpedJamietolearntoridehisbicycleandpitchedballstohiminthebackyarduntilhelearnedtohitthem.Butshewasdreamingagainnow,asshehadwhenshewasachild.Oh,notthelovelyfoolishdreamsoffindingoneselfaloneinacandystore,orthehorribledreamsofbeingpursuedthroughendlesscorridorswithoutdoorsbynamelessterrors.Butasherdaysgrewinquietnessandsolitude–forJameswasgrownandgone,andJuliuswasdrawinginuponhimself,becomingeverydaymoresmallandchillanddim–colorandlifeanddramawerereturningtoherdreams.Butonthatfirstnightwhensheheardthecreakoftheswing,shedidnotthinkthatshewasdreamingatall.Shehadbeenlyinginbedquiteawake,shethought,inthelittleroomthatusedtobeJamie’s–fornowadaysherreadinginbed,andafterwardhertossingandturning,disturbedJulius.Theswingwasnotanordinaryone.Juliushadputitup,inoneofthefewflashesofpoetryinallhisworrisome,hardworkinglife,whenJamiewasonlyababyandnowherenearoldenoughtoswinginit.TheladderJuliushadwasnottallenough,andhehadtobuyanewone,forthetreewastremendousandthebranchonwhichheproposedtohangtheswingarchedafullfortyfeetfromtheground,andmuchthoughtandconsiderationandcareweregiventothechain,andthehooks,andtheseat.Theswingwassuspendedfromsohigh,anditsarcwassowide,thatridinginitwaslikesailingthroughtheairwiththeleisurelyswoopofawheelingbird.Oneseemedtotravelfromonehorizontotheother.AndhowproudJuliushadbeenofitwhenJamiewasoldenoughtoswinginit,andtheneighborhoodchildrenhadstoodaroundtoadmireandbegivenaturn,fortherewasnootherswinglikeit.Theswingwashardlyeverusednow;itwasonlyatreat,onceinawhile,foravisitingchild,andoccasionallywhenshewasoutsideworkinginherflowerbordershewouldsitandrestinitforamomentortwo,idling,pushingherselfalittlewithatoe.Buttherhythmiccreakofthechainswassofamiliarthatshecouldnotmistakeit,shethought.Couldthewindbestrongenoughtomoveit,ifitcamefromtherightangle?Shefinallygaveupthinkingaboutitandwenttosleep.Nordidshethinkofitthenextday,fortheyweredueforSundaydinneratJames’shouse.Helivedinasuburbontheoppositesideofthecity–justtherightdistanceaway,sheoftenthought,farenoughsothatagingparentscouldnotmeddle2andembarrassandinterfere,butnearenoughsothatshecouldseehimfairlyoften.Shelovedhimwithallherheart,herdear,heronlyson.Shewasenormouslyproudofhim,too;hewasahighlypaidmathematicianinaresearchfoundation,andexpertinafieldsoesotericthatshehadgivenuptryingtograspitspoint.Butsecretlyshetooksomecredit,foritwasshe–whohadkepttheengineeringfirm’sbooksbalancedanddonetheincometax–whohadplayedlittlemathematicalgameswithhimbeforehehadevergonetoschoolandhadsatcross-leggedwithhimonthefloortossingcoinstotestthelawofprobability.Oh,theyhadhadfuntogetherinallsortsofways;theyhaddonecrosswordpuzzlestogether,andstudiedthestarstogether,andreadbookstogetherthatwereoverhisheadandsometimesoverherstoo.Andhehadturnedoutwell;hewasascholar,andasuccess,andaworthycitizen,andhehadaprettywife,acharminghome,andtwohandsomechildren.Shecouldnothaveaskedformore.Hewasthelightandthewarmthofherlife,andherheartbeatfastonthewaytohishouse.Shedrove.Shehadalwaysenjoyeddriving,andnowadaysJulius,whousedtoinsistondoingithimself,letherdoitwithoutaword.Theydroveinsilencemostly,butherheartwasaslightasthewindthatblewonherface,andshehummedunderherbreath,forshewasonherwaytoseeJames.Juliussaidquerulously,“Icouldhavetoldyouyou’dgetintoalotoftrafficthiswayandyou’ddobettertogobytheriverroad,butIknewyouwouldn’tlisten,”butshewassohappythatsheforboretomentionthatwhenevershetooktheriverroadheremarkedhowmuchlongeritwas,andonlyanswered,“Iexpectyou’requiteright,Julius.We’llcomebackthatway.”Theydidgohomebytheriverroad,anditseemedverylong;shewasalittledepressed,assheoftenwaswhenshereturnedfromJames’shouse.“Ilovehimwithallmyheart”–thewordswalkedunbiddenintohermind–“butIwishthatwhenIaskhimhowheishewouldn’ttellmethatthereiseverylikelihoodthattheBasicResearchDivisionwillbemergedwiththeStatisticsDivision.”Hehadkissedheronthecheek,andAnne,hiswife,hadkissedheronthecheek,andthetwochildrenhadkissedheronthecheek,andhehadslippedafootstoolunderherfeetandhadseatedhisfatherawayfromdrafts,andtheyhadhadafireinthemagnificentstonefireplacethearchitecthaddreamedupandthebuilderaddedtothecost,andAnnehadservedthemanexcellentdinner,andthechildrenhad,onrequest,toldherofsuitableA’sinEnglishandBoyScoutmeritbadges.Theyhadaskedherhowshehadbeen,andshetoldthem,inaburstofconfidence,thatshehadhadtheancientpianotunedandhadbeenpracticinganhouraday.Theylookedpuzzled.“Whatareyouplanningtodowithit,Mother?”Anneasked.“Oh,wellnothing,really,”shesaid,embarrassed.ShesaidlateronthatshehadbeenreadingbooksonChinaforshewassote