吾生三愿

罗素：吾生三愿ThreePassionsIhaveLivedForThreepassions,simplebutoverwhelminglystrong,havegovernedmylife:thelongingforlove,thesearchforknowledge,andunbearablepityforthesufferingofmankind.Thesepassions,likegreatwinds,haveblownmehitherandthither,inawaywardcourseoveradeepoceanofanguish,reachingtotheveryvergeofdespair.Ihavesoughtlove,first,becauseitbringsecstasy—ecstasysogreatthatIwouldoftenhavesacrificedalltherestofmylifeforafewhoursforthisjoy.Ihavesoughtit,next,becauseitrelievesloneliness—thatterriblelonelinessinwhichoneshiveringconsciousnesslooksovertherimoftheworldintothecoldunfathomablelifelessabyss.Ihavesoughtit,finally,becauseintheunionofloveIhaveseen,inamysticminiature,theprefiguringvisionoftheheaventhatsaintsandpoetshaveimagined.ThisiswhatIsought,andthoughitmightseemtoogoodforhumanlife,thisiswhat—atlast—Ihavefound.WithequalpassionIhavesoughtknowledge.Ihavewishedtounderstandtheheartsofmen.Ihavewishedtoknowwhythestarsshine…Alittleofthis,butnotmuch,Ihaveachieved.Loveandknowledge,sofarastheywerepossible,ledupwardtowardtheheavens.Butalwayspitybroughtmebacktoearth.Echoesofcriesofpainreverberateinmyheart.Childreninfamine,victimstorturedbyoppressors,helplessoldpeopleahatedburdentotheirsons,andthewholeworldofloneliness,poverty,andpainmakeamockeryofwhathumanlifeshouldbe.Ilongtoalleviatetheevil,butIcannot,andItoosuffer.Thishasbeenmylife.Ihavefounditworthliving,andwouldgladlyliveitagainifthechancewereofferedme.吾生三愿，纯朴却激越：一曰渴望爱情，二曰求索知识，三曰悲悯吾类之无尽苦难。此三愿，如疾风，迫吾无助飘零于苦水深海之上，直达绝望之彼岸。吾求爱，盖因其赐吾狂喜——狂喜之剧足令吾舍此生而享其片刻；吾求爱，亦因其可驱寂寞之感，吾人每生寂寞之情辄兢兢俯视天地之缘，而见绝望之无底深渊；吾求爱还因若得爱，即可窥视圣哲诗人所见之神秘天国。此吾生之所求，虽虑其之至美而恐终不为凡人所得，亦可谓吾之所得也。吾求知亦怀斯激情。吾愿闻人之所思，亦愿知星之何以闪光……吾仅得此而已，无他。爱与知并力，几携吾入天国之门，然终为悲悯之心拖拽未果。痛苦之吟常萦绕吾心：受饥饿之婴，遭压迫之民，为儿女遗弃之无助老叟，加之天下之孤寂、贫穷、苦痛，具令吾类之生难以卒睹。吾愿穷毕生之力释之，然终不能遂愿，因亦悲极。吾生若此而已，然吾颇感未枉此生；若得天允，当乐而重为之。