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Dreams1DreamsbyJeromeK.JeromeDreams2ThemostextraordinarydreamIeverhadwasoneinwhichIfanciedthat,asIwasgoingintoatheater,thecloak-roomattendantstoppedmeinthelobbyandinsistedonmyleavingmylegsbehindme.Iwasnotsurprised;indeed,myacquaintanceshipwiththeaterharpieswouldpreventmyfeelinganysurpriseatsuchademand,eveninmywakingmoments;butIwas,Imusthonestlyconfess,considerablyannoyed.Itwasnotthepaymentofthecloak-roomfeethatIsomuchminded--Iofferedtogivethattothemanthenandthere.ItwasthepartingwithmylegsthatIobjectedto.IsaidIhadneverheardofsucharulebeingattemptedtobeputinforceatanyrespectabletheaterbefore,andthatIconsidereditamostabsurdandvexatiousregulation.IalsosaidIshouldwritetoTheTimesaboutit.Themanrepliedthathewasverysorry,butthatthosewerehisinstructions.Peoplecomplainedthattheycouldnotgettoandfromtheirseatscomfortably,becauseotherpeople'slegswerealwaysintheway;andithad,therefore,beendecidedthat,infuture,everybodyshouldleavetheirlegsoutside.Itseemedtomethatthemanagement,inmakingthisorder,hadclearlygonebeyondtheirlegalright;and,underordinarycircumstances,Ishouldhavedisputedit.Beingpresent,however,moreinthecharacterofaguestthaninthatofapatron,Ihardlyliketomakeadisturbance;andsoIsatdownandmeeklypreparedtocomplywiththedemand.Ihadneverbeforeknownthatthehumanlegdidunscrew.Ihadalwaysthoughtitwasafixture.Butthemanshowedmehowtoundothem,andIfoundthattheycameoffquiteeasily.ThediscoverydidnotsurprisemeanymorethantheoriginalrequestthatIshouldtakethemoffhaddone.Nothingdoessurpriseoneinadream.IdreamedoncethatIwasgoingtobehanged;butIwasnotatallsurprisedaboutit.Nobodywas.Myrelationscametoseemeoff,Ithought,andtowishmeGood-by!Theyallcame,andwereallverypleasant;buttheywerenotintheleastastonished--notoneofthem.Dreams3Everybodyappearedtoregardthecomingtragedyasoneofthemost-naturally-to-be-expectedthingsintheworld.Theyborethecalamity,besides,withanamountofstoicismthatwouldhavedonecredittoaSpartanfather.Therewasnofuss,noscene.Onthecontrary,anatmosphereofmildcheerfulnessprevailed.Yettheywereverykind.Somebody--anuncle,Ithink--leftmeapacketofsandwichesandalittlesomethinginaflask,incase,ashesaid,Ishouldfeelpeckishonthescaffold.Itisthosetwin-jailersofthedaringthought,KnowledgeandExperience,thatteachussurprise.Wearesurprisedandincredulouswhen,innovelsandplays,wecomeacrossgoodmenandwomen,becauseKnowledgeandExperiencehavetaughtushowrareandproblematicalistheexistenceofsuchpeople.Inwakinglife,myfriendsandrelationswould,ofcourse,havebeensurprisedathearingthatIhadcommittedamurder,andwas,inconsequence,abouttobehanged,becauseKnowledgeandExperiencewouldhavetaughtthemthat,inacountrywherethelawispowerfulandthepolicealert,theChristiancitizenisusuallyprettysuccessfulinwithstandingthevoiceoftemptation,promptinghimtocommitcrimeofanillegalcharacter.ButintoDreamland,KnowledgeandExperiencedonotenter.Theystaywithout,togetherwiththedull,deadclayofwhichtheyformapart;whilethefreedbrain,releasedfromtheirnarrowingtutelage,stealssoftlypasttheebongate,towantonatitsownsweetwillamongthemazypathsthatwindthroughthegardenofPersephone.Nothingthatitmeetswithinthateternallandastonishesitbecause,unfetteredbythedenseconvictionofourwakingmind,thatnoughtoutsidethekenofourownvisioncaninthisuniversebe,allthingstoitarepossibleandevenprobable.Indreams,weflyandwondernot--exceptthatweneverflewbefore.Wegonaked,yetarenotashamed,thoughwemildlywonderwhatthepoliceareaboutthattheydonotstopus.Weconversewithourdead,andthinkitwasunkindthattheydidnotcomebacktousbefore.Indreams,therehappensthatwhichhumanlanguagecannottell.Indreams,weseethelightthatneverwasonseaorland,wehearthesoundsthatneveryetwereheardbywakingears.Dreams4Itisonlyinsleepthattrueimaginationeverstirswithinus.Awake,weneverimagineanything;wemerelyalter,vary,ortranspose.Wegiveanothertwisttothekaleidoscopeofthethingsweseearoundus,andobtainanotherpattern;butnotoneofushaseveraddedonetiniestpieceofnewglasstothetoy.ADeanSwiftseesoneraceofpeoplesmaller,andanotherraceofpeoplelargerthantheraceofpeoplethatlivedownhisownstreets.Andhealsoseesalandwherethehorsestaketheplaceofmen.ABulwerLyttonlaysthesceneofoneofhisnovelsinsidetheearthinsteadofoutside.ARiderHaggardintroducesustoaladywhoseageisafewyearsmorethantheaveragewomanwouldcaretoconfessto;andpicturescrabslargerthantheusualshillingoreighteen-pennysize.Thenumberofsocalledimaginativewriterswhovisitthemoonislegion,andforallthenoveltythattheyfind,whentheygetthere,theymightjustaswellhavegonetoPutney.Othersarecontinuallydrawingforusvisionsoftheworldonehundredoronethousandyearshence.Thereisalwaysadepressingabsenceofhumannatureabouttheplace;somuchso,thatonefeelsgreatconsolationinthethought,whilereading,thatweourselvesshallbecomfortablydeadandburiedbeforethepicturecanberealized.IntheseprophesiedUtopiaseverybodyispainfullygoodandcleanandhappy,andalltheworkisdonebyelectricity.Thereissomewhattoomuchelectricity,formytaste,intheseworldstocome.Oneisremindedofthosepictorialenamel-paintadvertisementsthatoneseesaboutsooftennow,inwhichallthemembersofanextensivehouseholdarerepresentedasgatheredtogetherinoneroom,spread