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DesperateHousewivesSeason1Episode1Mary:MynameisMaryAliceYoung.Whenyoureadthismorning’spaper,youmaycomeacrossanarticleabouttheunusualdayIhadlastweek.Normally,thereisneveranythingnewsworthyaboutmydailylife,butthatallchangedlastThursday.Ofcourseeverythingseemedquitenormalatfirst.Imadebreakfastformyfamily;Iperformedmychores;Icompletedmyprojects;Iranmyerrands.Intruth,IspendthedayasIspendeveryotherdayquietlypolishingtheroutineofmylifeuntilitgleamedwithperfection.Thatiswhyit’ssoastonishingwhenIdecidedtogotomyhallwayclosetandretrievearevolverthathadneverbeenused.Mybodywasdiscoveredbymyneighbor,Mrs.MarshaHuber,whohadbeenstartledbyastrangepoppingsound.Hercuriosityaroused,Mrs.Hubertriedtothinkofareasonfordroppingonunannounced.Aftersomeinitialhesitation,shedecidedtoreturntheblendershehadburrowedfromme6monthsbefore.MarshaHuber:Oh~~~~!It’smyneighbor.Ithinkshehasbeenshot!There’sbloodeverywhere.Yes,you’vegottosendanambulance.You’vegottosendonerightnow!Mary:Andforamoment,Mrs.Huberstoodmotionlessinherkitchen,grief-strickenbythesenselesstragedy,but,onlyforamoment.IfthereisonethingMrs.Huberwasknownfor,itwasherabilitytolookonthebrightside.Mary:IwaslaidtorestonMonday.Afterthefuneral,allresidentsofWisteriaLanecametopaytheirrespect.Andaspeopledointhissituation,theybroughtfood.LynetteScavobroughtfriedchicken.Lynettehadagreatfamilyrecipeforfriedchicken.Ofcourse,shedidn’tcookmuchwhenshewasmovingupthecorporateladders.Shedidn’thavethetime.ButwhenherdoctorannouncedLynettewaspregnant,herhusband,Tom,hadanidea.“Whynotquityourjob?Kidsdobetterwithstayhomemom.Soitwouldbesomuchlessstressful.But,thiswasnotthecase.Infact,Lynette’slifehadbecomesohectic.Shewasnowforcedtogetherfriedchickenfromafastfoodrestaurant.Lynettewouldhaveappreciatedtheironyifshestartedtothinkaboutit.But,shecouldn’t.Shedidn’thavethetime.Lynette:Stopit!Stopit!Stopit!Kids:Mom~~!Lynette:You’regoingtobehavetoday.Iwillnotgoingtobehumiliatedinfrontoftheentireneighborhood.And,justsoyouknowhowseriousIam?Oneofthetwins:What’sthat?Lynette:Santa’scellphonenumber.Theotherofthetwins:Howdoyougetthat?Lynette:Iknowsomeonewhoknowssomeonewhoknowsanelf.Andifanyofyouactsup,sohelpme,IwillcallSantaandIwilltellhimyouwantsocksforChristmas!Areyouwillingtoriskthat?Kidsshaketheirheadsno.Lynette:Ok.Let’sgetthisoverwith.Mary:GabrielleSolis,wholivesdowntheblock,broughtspicypaella.SincehermodelingdaysinNewYork,Gabriellehaddevelopedhertasteforrichfoodandrichmen.Carlos,whoworkedinmergersandacquisitions,proposedontheirthirddate.Gabriellewastouchedwhentearswelleduphiseyes.ButshesoondiscoveredthishappenedeverytimeCarlosclosedabigdeal.Gabriellelikedpaellapipinghot.However,herrelationshipwithherhusbandwasconsiderablycooler.Carlos:IfyoutalktoAlMasonaboutathing,IwantyoucasuallymentionhowmuchIpaidforyournecklace.Gabrielle:Whydon’tIjustpaintthereceiptonmychest?Carlos:Heletmeknowhowmuchhehadpaidforhiswife’snewconvertible.Look,justworkintotheconversation.Gabrielle:Ijustcan’tfindawaytoworkitin,Carlos.Carlos:Whynot?AttheDonahueParty,everyonewastalkingaboutthemutualfunds,andyoufoundawaytomentionyousleptwithhalfoftheYankeeoutfielders.Gabrielle:Iamtellingyou,itcameupinthecontextoftheconversations.Carlos:Hey!Peoplearestartingtostare.Canyoukeepyourvoicedown,please?Gabrielle:Absolutely.Wouldn’twantpeopletothinkwearenothappy.Mary:BreeVanDeCamp,wholivesnextdoor,broughtbasketsofmuffinsshebakedfromscratch.Breewasknownforhercooking,andformakingforherclothes,andfordoingherowngardeningandforre-upholsteringherownfurniture.Yes,Bree’smanytalentswereknownthroughouttheneighborhoodandeveryoneonWisteriaLanethoughtofBreeasaperfectwifeandmother.Everyonethatis,except,herownfamily.Bree:Paul,Zachary.Zachary:Hello,Mrs.VanDeCamp.Paul:Bree,youshouldn’tbegonethroughsomuchtroubles.Bree:Itwasnotroubleatall.NowthebasketwithredribbonspilledwithdesertsforyourguestsbuttheonewithblueribbonisjustforyouandZachary.It’sgonnaberolls,muffinsbreakfasttypethings.Paul:Thankyou.Bree:AtleastIcanmakesureyourboywouldnotmissamealfortomorrow.Iknowyou’reoutofyourmindwithyourgrief.Paul:Yes,weare.Bree:Ofcourse,Iwillneedthebasketsbackonceyoudone.Paul:Ofcourse.Mary:SusanMayer,wholivesacrossthestreet,broughtmacaroniandcheeses.HerhusbandCarlalwaysteasedabouthermacaroni,sayingthiswastheonlythingsheknewhowtocookandsherarelyshemadeitwell.ItwastoosaltywhensheandCarlmovedintheirhouse.ItwastoowaterywhenthenightshefoundlipstickonCarl’sshirt.ShewasburntitthenightCarltoldherhewasleavingherforhissecretary.Ayearhadpassedsinceherdivorce,Susanhadstartedtothinkhowniceitwouldbetohaveamaninherlifeevenonewhowouldmadefunofhercooking.Julie:Mom,whywouldsomeonekillthemselves?Susan:Well.Sometimespeoplearesounhappyandtheythinkthisistheonlywaytheycansolvetheirproblems.Julie:ButMrs.Youngalwaysseemedhappy.Susan:Yeah.Sometimespeoplepretendtobeonewayontheoutside,buttheyaretotallydifferentontheinside.Julie:AreyoumeanlikeDad’sgirlfriendwhoissmilingandsaysnicething,butdeepdown,youjustknowshe’sabitch?Susan:Idon’tlikethatword,Julie.But,yeah,thatagreatexample.Susan:Hey,I’msorryI’mlate.Lynette:Hey,Susan.Mary:Sowh