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EverydayUseAliceWalkerIwillwaitforherintheyardthatMaggieandImadesocleanandwavyyesterdayafternoon.Ayardlikethisismorecomfortablethanmostpeopleknow.Itisnotjustayard.Itislikeanextendedlivingroom.Whenthehardclayissweptcleanasafloorandthefinesandaroundtheedgeslinedwithtiny,irregulargrooves,anyonecancomeandsitandlookupintotheelmtreeandwaitforthebreezesthatnevercomeinsidethehouse.Maggiewillbenervousuntilafterhersistergoes:shewillstandhopelesslyincorners,homelyandashamedoftheburnscarsdownherarmsandlegs,eyinghersisterwithamixtureofenvyandawe.Shethinkshersisterhasheldlifealwaysinthepalmofonehand,thatnoisawordtheworldneverlearnedtosaytoher.You'venodoubtseenthoseTVshowswherethechildwhohasmadeitisconfronted,asasurprise,byherownmotherandfather,totteringinweaklyfrombackstage.(Apleasantsurprise,ofcourse:Whatwouldtheydoifparentandchildcameontheshowonlytocurseoutandinsulteachother?)OnTVmotherandchildembraceandsmileintoeachother'sfaces.Sometimesthemotherandfatherweep,thechildwrapstheminherarmsandleansacrossthetabletotellhowshewouldnothavemadeitwithouttheirhelp.Ihaveseentheseprograms.SometimesIdreamadreaminwhichDeeandIaresuddenlybroughttogetheronaTVprogramofthissort.Outofadarkandsoft-seatedlimousineIamusheredintoabrightroomfilledwithmanypeople.ThereImeetasmiling,gray,sportymanlikeJohnnyCarsonwhoshakesmyhandandtellsmewhatafinegirlIhave.ThenweareonthestageandDeeisembracingmewithtearsinhereyes.Shepinsonmydressalargeorchid,eventhoughshehastoldmeoncethatshethinksorchidsaretackyflowers.InreallifeIamalarge,big-bonedwomanwithrough,man-workinghands.InthewinterIwearflannelnightgownstobedandoverallsduringtheday.Icankillandcleanahogasmercilesslyasaman.Myfatkeepsmehotinzeroweather.Icanworkoutsideallday,breakingicetogetwaterforwashing;Icaneatporklivercookedovertheopenfireminutesafteritcomessteamingfromthehog.OnewinterIknockedabullcalfstraightinthebrainbetweentheeyeswithasledgehammerandhadthemeathunguptochillbeforenightfall.Butofcourseallthisdoesnotshowontelevision.Iamthewaymydaughterwouldwantmetobe:ahundredpoundslighter,myskinlikeanuncookedbarleypancake.Myhairglistensinthehotbrightlights.JohnnyCarsonhasmuchtodotokeepupwithmyquickandwittytongue.Butthatisamistake.IknowevenbeforeIwakeup.WhoeverknewaJohnsonwithaquicktongue?Whocanevenimaginemelookingastrangewhitemanintheeye?ItseemstomeIhavetalkedtothemalwayswithonefootraisedinflight,withmyheadfumedinwhicheverwayisfarthestfromthem.Dee,though.Shewouldalwayslookanyoneintheeye.Hesitationwasnopartofhernature.HowdoIlook,Mama?Maggiesays,showingjustenoughofherthinbodyenvelopedinpinkskirtandredblouseformetoknowshe'sthere,almosthiddenbythedoor.Comeoutintotheyard,Isay.Haveyoueverseenalameanimal,perhapsadogrunoverbysomecarelesspersonrichenoughtoownacar,sidleuptosomeonewhoisignorantenoughtobekindtohim?ThatisthewaymyMaggiewalks.Shehasbeenlikethis,chinonchest,eyesonground,feetinshuffle,eversincethefirethatburnedtheotherhousetotheground.DeeislighterthanMaggie,withnicerhairandafullerfigure.She'sawomannow,thoughsometimesIforget.Howlongagowasitthattheotherhouseburned?Ten,twelveyears?SometimesIcanstillheartheflamesandfeelMaggie'sarmsstickingtome,herhairsmokingandherdressfallingoffherinlittleblackpaperyflakes.Hereyesseemedstretchedopen,blazedopenbytheflamesreflectedinthem.AndDee.Iseeherstandingoffunderthesweetgumtreesheusedtodiggumoutof;alookofconcentrationonherfaceasshewatchedthelastdingygrayboardofthehousefallintowardthered-hotbrickchimney.Whydon'tyoudoadancearoundtheashes?I'dwantedtoaskher.Shehadhatedthehousethatmuch.IusedtothinkshehatedMaggie,too.Butthatwasbeforeweraisedmoney,thechurchandme,tosendhertoAugustatoschool.Sheusedtoreadtouswithoutpity;forcingwords,lies,otherfolks'habits,wholelivesuponustwo,sittingtrappedandignorantunderneathhervoice.Shewashedusinariverofmake-believe,burneduswithalotofknowledgewedidn'tnecessarilyneedtoknow.Pressedustoherwiththeseriouswaysheread,toshoveusawayatjustthemoment,likedimwits,weseemedabouttounderstand.Deewantednicethings.Ayelloworgandydresstoweartohergraduationfromhighschool;blackpumpstomatchagreensuitshe'dmadefromanoldsuitsomebodygaveme.Shewasdeterminedtostaredownanydisasterinherefforts.Hereyelidswouldnotflickerforminutesatatime.OftenIfoughtoffthetemptationtoshakeher.Atsixteenshehadastyleofherown:andknewwhatstylewas.Ineverhadaneducationmyself.Aftersecondgradetheschoolwascloseddown.Don'taskmywhy:in1927coloredaskedfewerquestionsthantheydonow.SometimesMaggiereadstome.Shestumblesalonggood-naturedlybutcan'tseewell.Sheknowssheisnotbright.Likegoodlooksandmoney,quicknesspassesherby.ShewillmarryJohnThomas(whohasmossyteethinanearnestface)andthenI'llbefreetosithereandIguessjustsingchurchsongstomyself.AlthoughIneverwasagoodsinger.Nevercouldcarryatune.Iwasalwaysbetterataman'sjob.IusedtolovetomilktillIwashookedinthesidein'49.Cowsaresoothingandslowanddon'tbotheryou,unlessyoutrytomilkthemthewrongway.Ihavedeliberatelyturnedmybackonthehouse.Itisthreerooms,justliketheonethatburned,excepttheroofistin;theydon'tmakeshingleroofsanymore.Therearenorealwindows,justsomeholescutinthesides,liketheporthol