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Unit1Iamfrequentlyaskedthequestion,“canyouusechopsticks?”IhavelivedinKorea,Japan,andChina.Ineachcountry,Ihave,moreoftenthannotandwithouthavingrequestedone,beengivenaforkwhenonewasavailable.IhavepolitelyrefusedandsaidthatIwouldbefinewithchopsticks.Sometimes,Ihavetomakefurtherexplanation.ChopsticksaretheleastofmyworrieswhenIameatinginanAsianhomeorrestaurant.Infact,learninghowtousechopstickstakesmenothingbutafewweeks.ThisisnottosayIwasskillful,though.Learninghowtousechopsticksiseasyforme,whereaslearningtheritualsandhowtoconductmyselfatthetableisquitedifficult.JusthowmanytimesdoIhavetosay“no,thankyou”whenIreallymean“no,thankyou,Itrulyamfull”?HowdoIgetawaywithrefusingmorefoodwithoutoffendingsomeone?IfIinsistandIstillgetmore,isitappropriatejustnottoeatit?ThiswouldbeimpolitewhereIcomefrom.Ihaveenjoyedmanygreatmealsandmyinteractionswiththepeoplehavebeengreat.IamincreasinglyawarethatIwillneverbeabletogivebackasmuchasIhavereceived.Idon’tknowhowIcaneverthankallofthepeoplewhointroducedmetoeatinginAsia.Unit2Thiswaswhatallofthetrainingandpainwasabout----winning.IwatchedTVtoseetheyoungrunnerwhohadbeenundermycoachingforthelastfewyears.Iwouldhavebeenthereonthespothaditnotbeenforthetrafficproblem.Icouldn’tmakeitevenonmybicycle.WhileIwatchedtheyoungrunnerentertothecheersofthousandsofpeople,Icouldnothelpthinkingofthepainsthathehadgonethroughinhistraining.Theyoungrunnerwashardlyconsideredtobepromisingwhenhefirstcametome.Therewerecountlesstrainingsessionsfullofpainforhim.Ihadseenfatiguewrittenonhisface.Ihadheardhimswearatme.Ihadbeenindifferenttohisangerandpain.Itwasclearthatonlyhardworkcouldearnhimsuccess.IhadsmiledtomyselfwhenIfoundthathehadtoomuchpassiontogiveup.Andhewouldpersistwiththetraininguntilhereachedperfection.Ihadneverforgottoremindhimthatdespitethechallengeshehadtokeeponpractice.Itwasunfairthathehadnotimeforhisgirlfriend.Butthatwaslifeforhim!ThethunderousshoutsandcheersdrewmebacktotheTVscreen.Oh,mydear,theyoungrunnerwasgainingspeed.Hewasrunningtothefinishline.Hewasstrongenoughtobeatotherrunners.Hiscourage,heartanddisciplinetogetherwithhisyearsofpracticewonhimthehonor.TearsrolleddownmycheekswhenIfoundonthescreentheyoungrunnerwaslookingaround.Iunderstoodatoncethathewaslookingforme.Foryears,hehadbecomesousedtomypresence,successorfailure.Itmusthaveseemedstrangeforhimtofindmemissing.Unit3Ididn’tmarryforallthe“rightreasons”.Lovehadnothingtodowithmarriage.And,formyhusband’spart,well,Isuspectlovewasonhismindeither.HemarriedmebecauseImadehimfeelyoung.Hewassuchanordinarymangoingthroughhisveryordinarymidlifecrisis.Hewasdivorced,lookingforyoungerwomenandacareerchange.Thatdidn’tbotherme,though.Hewasstillfairlycharming,prettyhandsomeandaboveallrich.Imarriedformoney,andIdon’thaveanydoubtaboutit.Myfriendsdon’tapplaudmydecision,butIcanalsotellthattheywish,atleastalittlebit,forsomeofthesamethingsthatInowenjoy.Theyalwaysprefertospendalotoftimebymyswimmingpoolthanattheircommonlittlehomes.Andanotherthing,theyarealwayscomplainingabouttheir“beloved”.“He’salwayswatchinghowmuchIspend.”“It’sbecomemorelikeabusinessrelationshipthanamarriage.”Myhusband,however,doesn’tcarehowmuchIspendandourmarriageneverbecameabusinessbecauseitalreadywasone.Youcouldsay,wehaveamutualunderstanding.Weareveryrealisticaboutthewholething.Itispainfulformyfriendswhentheyrealizethatloveisjusta(n)illusion.Marriageforloveneverexistedforme.And,he’llneverdivorceme.He’dlosetoomuchmoney.Unit4Loveisimportantbecausewithoutitlifehasnomeaningorpurpose.Loveallowsustodomorethanwecouldeveraccomplishwithoutitspower.Sooftenwetakegoodcareofourphysicalneeds.Wemakesureourbodiesarefed,cleaned,clothed,exercisedandrested.However,wetendtooverlookthemostimportantneed-----love.Ofcourse,asasociety,loveisnotoverlooked.Popularmediaconstantlyplacesgreatemphasisonwhatweneedtodotoattract“love”.Butbeinglovedisnotaspowerfulanemotionalneedasthatdesiretolovesomeoneelse.Theneedtoloveandcareforothersisbuiltintousbiologically.Thisneediswhatallowsparentstogiveupsleepandfoodwhileraisingtheirchildren.Thisneediswhatallowspeopletoputthemselvesatrisktosaveothersfromnaturaldisastersorthreats.Lovemeanstocherish,holddear,andtreasure.Wedonothurt,harm,orcausepaintothosewelove;rather,weseektoalleviatetheirsuffering.It’snotaboutwantingtopossessorcontrolothers;it’saboutwantingtosetthemfree.Loveisthepowerthatallowsthewheeloflifetocontinueturning,forwhenwelovewelookbeyondourownneedsanddesires.Wesacrificeourtime,ourenergy,ourwishes,andsometimesevenourselvesbecauseoflove.Itislovethatallowsemergencyservicespersonneltofacedanger.Itislovethatallowssoldierstoriskeverything.Theultimatedefinitionofloveisnotaboutfeelinggoodbutratheraboutdoinggood.Unit5“Knockitoff!”Billywouldnotceasebanginghisfootonthetable.Mrs.Stewarthadlostallpatienceintellinghimtostop.Herwordswerefallingondeafears.Shehadaskedhersontoquitdoingsomethingthatwasbotheringhersomanytimesthatshehardlyevenknewthewordswerecomingfromhermouth.Billyhadgotusedtothis.Hejustignoredhismom’sexpressionslikethese.Hebangedonwithoutapause.Sheusedtotrytophraseherwordsinpositivewayslike,