••Ilookedoutatthesmilingfacespackedintotheschoolhall.Flashesfromthecameraslitupinalldirections.Theapplausefilledmyears.Ihaddoneit.Ireallyhaddoneit.Justafewmonthsearlier,Iwouldneverhavepicturedmyselfactinginaplayinfrontoftwohundredpeople.Butwhenthetimecame,IgotuponstageandfacedoneofmygreatestfearsanddiscoveredIcoulddomorethanIevergavemyselfcreditfor.Ifoundanewpersoninsideme,amuchmoredaring,outgoingpersonwhohadbeenhiddenallalong,justwaitingfortheopportunitytoappear.•Ifnotformyteacher,MrsSather,Imightneverhavefoundthatopportunity.Inthefirstandsecondgrade,Iwasextremelyshy.Ihadfriends,butitjustwasn'tinmypersonalitytobeveryoutgoing,evenwhenIknewsomeonewell.IwasafraidIwoulddoorsaysomethingwrong,sousuallyIjustsmiledandlistenedtootherpeople'sconversations.IdidwellinschoolandIlovedtowrite.However,Iwouldescapeintomywriting,whereIcouldbemyselfandneverhadtoworryaboutwhatotherpeoplethoughtofme.Inmystories,Iwasnevershy.•Myteacheralwaysencouragedmetowritemore.Shetoldourclasstogoafterourdreamsanddiginwithbothhands.Ithinkshewasoneofthefirstpeopletoseemyinnerstrength.Oneday,sheannounedthatourclasswasgoingtoperformaplayshehadwritten.“I‘llbegintocasteveryonetomorrow,”shesaid.“IneedsomeonewhoisnotafraidtobeonstageinfrontofalotofpeopletoplaytheleadpartofDorothy.Anybodywanttotry?”Afewexcitedhandsshotup—mine,ofcourse,wasnotoneofthem—andMrsSathersmiled.“We'lltalkmoreaboutittomorrow,”shesaid.Thenthebellrangandmyclassmatesslowlylefttheclassroom.•Paragraph1:•WhenIwasloadingupmypackpack,MrsSatheraskedmetogotoher._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________•Paragraph2:•Hearingmywords,MrsSatherlookedatmyeyesasifseeingmyinnerselflockedawayinside.•_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________读后续写出现的问题以及解决方法•1.描写角度少,导致描写不细腻,不深刻。•解决方法:多维度描写动作、情感、心理、语言、环境等方面的描写•2.内心冲突没有很好的展现出来•解决方法:通过老师的劝说和自己的内心戏的斗争过程来体现。不要老师一劝说,自己没有内心挣扎过程直接同意,要放大内心冲突,刻画好内心戏,也就是心理描写要细腻。•3.与人物性格、身份不符•解决方法:写作之前一定要分析好人物角色的性格,所言所行都要贴合人物性格和身份。本文作者是一个害羞的人,如果直接对老师说“Absolutelynot”来回绝老师的要求,不符合人物的性格。而用“I...Idon'tthink...Iamrightforthepart”这种表达就能很好表现作者的不自信。•4.对话描写占比重大,废话多•解决方法:无助情节推动的,偏离人物性格的和偏离文章主线的对话绝对不用。•1-2处对话即可。范文第一段1.Confused,Inoddedandhurriedtojoinher.•confused为形容词做伴随状语,为情感描写。nodandhurry并列两个谓语动作,为动作描写。2.MrsSathersaid,“IwasthinkingyouwouldbeperfectforDorothy.ButIwassurprisedyoudidn'traiseyourhand.”此处为1处语言描写。用到了词组beperfectforsth很适合..用到了句型Iwassurprisedthat从句3.Me,thelead?Wasshecrazy?Iwasterrifiedatthethoughtofstandingonstageinfrontofallthosepeople.ItoldherthatitseemedreallyhardbecauseIwasnevergoodattalkinginfrontofpeople.•此处主要运用心理描写,包括连续两个问号的使用,很细腻地刻画了自己当时的难以置信,害怕的心理。用到了词组beterrifiedatsth对..很害怕•范文第二段•1.Shesaid,”ButIhadyouinmindforDorothywhilewritingtheplay!Ifyoureallydon'twantto,Iwon'tmakeyou.It'syourchoice.”•这是第2处语言描写。•2.Mymindwasspinningfast.MrsSather,whomIlovedandadmired,wantedmeinthisrole.Shebelievedinme.IrealiseditwastimetothrowoffmyshymaskandshowtheworldwhoIreallywas.•此处主要运用心理描写,描写地很细腻。此处用到了一个非限制性定语从句。•3.Shewasrightandtheperformancewasverysuccessful.AndIovercamemyinnerfearaswell.•最后点题。在文章中出现了fear,afraid,shy,innerstrength,innerself等关键词,可以提炼这些关键词,稍加修改化为己用来升华主题收尾。注意积累文章中的优美语句•1.Flashesfromthecameraslitupinalldirections.•2.Theapplausefilledmyears.•此处用到了无灵主语•中国人习惯用人称主语,而英语中则常用无灵主语,即无生命的事物做主语,而避免“我”“我们”这样带有明显主观色彩的词语做主语,或是为了起到拟人化,形象化的效果。更多无灵主语的例子•主语是情感状态的抽象名词,谓语动词可选择:fill,grip,surround,seize,overwhelm,consume,overcome,takeholdof,deprive等,在读后续写中运用比较多。•①Ifeltscared.•改为Fearseized/tookholdof/flooded/consumedme.•②Hecouldn’tspeak.•改为Hervoiceabandonedhim•③Ican'tbeartheheat.•改为Theheatisunbearable.•④Helosthisconfidence/courage.•改为Confidence/Couragedesertedhim.•⑤Iforgothisname.•改为:Hisnameescapedmymind.•⑥Icameupwithanidea.•改为:Anideaoccurredto/hit/struckme.•⑦Iamhomesick.•Homesicknessoverwhelmsme.有关自信的句子积累•1.Thegreatestprisonthatpeopleliveinisthefearofwhatotherpeoplethink.人最大的牢笼常常是由对别人看法的恐惧铸成的。•2.Thebestwaytodefeatyourfearistofaceyourfearhead-on迎面.•克服恐惧最好的方法是迎面直击。•3.Neverunderestimate低估yourself,foryouhavenoideawhatyouarecapableof能力.•4.Throwoffyourshymaskandshowtheworldwhoyoureallyare.•平时注意多积累语言,多输入才能有输出。