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11ShowMetheWaytoGoHomeFirstMaggie,then20,askedStepmomandDadifshecouldstoreafewboxeswiththeminWashingtonwhileshelookedforanotherplacetolive.ThenMaggiesaidshewouldliketomoveintobewithherboxesuntilherboyfriendJoeboughtacondominium.NextMaggieaskedwhetherJoecouldmoveintemporarilyuntilthecondodealwasclosed.WhenLucyandPabloSanchezreturnedhomefromvacationlastChristmas,theyfoundtheirsmalllivingroomcrammedwithhisboxesandasecondwelcomematnexttotheirownonthefrontporch.LucySanchezimmediatelydidwhatanylovingbutput-uponparentwoulddo:Ihadamigraine,shesays.SuchtalesarebecomingabundantlyfamiliarasAmericanparentsareforcedtomakeroomfortheiradultchildren.Thereisanaivenotionthatchildrengrowupandleavehomewhenthey're18,andthetruthisfarfromthat,saysSociologistLarryBumpassoftheUniversityofWisconsininMadison.Today,accordingtotheU.S.CensusBureau,59%ofmenand47%ofwomenbetween18and24dependontheirparentsforhousing,somelivingincollegedormsbutmostathome.In1970thefigureswere54%and41%.Also,14%ofmenand8%ofwomenages25to34aredependentontheirparentsforhousing,comparedwith9.5%and6.6%in1970.Thisispartofamajorshiftinthemiddleclass,&declaresSociologistAllanSchnaibergofNorthwesternUniversity.Heshouldknow:Schnaiberg'sstepson,19,movedbackinafteranabsenceofeightmonths.Analystsciteavarietyofreasonsforthisreturntothenest.Themarriageageisrising,aconditionthatmakeshomeanditsamenitiesparticularlyattractivetoyoungpeople,sayexperts.Ahighdivorcerateandadecliningremarriageratearesendingeconomicallypressedandemotionallybatteredsurvivorsbacktoparentalshelters.Forsome,theexpenseofanaway-from-homecollegeeducationhasbecomesoexorbitantthatmanystudentsnowattendlocalschools.Evenaftergraduation,youngpeoplefindtheirwingsclippedbyskyrocketinghousingcosts.NotesSociologistCarlfredBroderickoftheUniversityofSouthernCaliforniainLosAngeles,whohasason,31,andadaughter,27,inresidence:Theyarefindingthatthegoodlifeisnotspontaneouslygeneratedoutthere.SallieKnighton,26,movedbacktoherparents'suburbanAtlantahometosaveenoughmoneytobuyacar.Herjobasateacherprovidedonlyenoughmoneytocovercarpaymentsandanadditionalloanshehadtakenout.Oncetheloanwaspaidoff,shedecidedtotakeacrackatamodelingcareer.Livingathome,saysKnighton,continuestogivehersecurityandmoralsupport.IfIhadlivedaway,shesays,Iwouldbemiserablestillteaching.Hermotherconcurs,It'sridiculousforthekidstopayallthatmoneyforrent.Itmakessenseforkidstostayathome.BradleyKulat,25,makesabout$20,000ayearasanequipmenttechnicianinahospital.Thatisenoughtosupportamodesthousehold,buthechoosestoliveathisparents'split-levelranchhouseoutsideChicago,asdoeshissisterPamela,20,whocommutestoanearbycollege.Headmitstoexpensivetastes.Herecentlyboughtan$8,000carandalsoownsan$800stereosystem,a$300ten-speedbikeandanelegantwardrobe.SayshismotherEvelyn:Itkeepsyouthinkingyounger,tryingtokeepupwiththem.2Sharingthefamilyhomerequiresadjustmentsforall.Therearethehasslesoverbathrooms,telephonesandprivacy.Somefamilies,however,managethedelicatebalancingact.At34,EstherRodriguezdreadedreturningtoherparents'Denverhomeafterthreeyearsoflawschoolforcedher$20,000intodebt.Ithoughtitwasgoingtobearestrictiononmyindependence,sherecalls.Instead,shewastouchedwhenherfatherinstalledadeskandphoneinthebasementsoshewouldhaveaprivatestudy.TheSanchezfamilytoohasmadeasuccessofthearrangement.SaysLucySanchez:Familyisfamily,andwebelieveandactonthat.Butforothers,thesetupprovestoodifficult.MichelleDelTurco,24,ofEnglewood,Colo.,aDenversuburb,hasbeenhomethreetimes--andleftthreetimes.WhatIconsideredasocialdrink,mydadconsideredanalcoholproblem,sheexplains.HeneverlikedanyoneIdated,soIeitherhadtosneakaroundormeetthematfriends'houses.Justhowlongshouldadultchildrenlivewiththeirparentsbeforemovingon?LucilleCarliniofBrooklynreturnedhomewithhertwodaughtersafteradivorce.Thatwasalmosttwelveyearsago.Sheisnow37andherdaughters18and16.TheystilllivewithCarlini'smotherEdie,whohaswelcomedhavingthreegenerationsinthesamehouse.Still,mostpsychologistsfeellengthyhomecomingsareamistake.Offspring,strugglingtoestablishseparateidentities,canwindupwithasenseofinadequacy,defeatandfailure,saysKristineKratz,acounselorwiththePersonalDevelopmentInstituteinLosAngeles.Andagingparents,whoshouldbeenjoyingsomefinancialandpersonalfreedom,findthemselvesboggeddownwithresponsibilities.SaysDebraUmberson,aresearcherattheUniversityofMichigan:Livingwithchildrenofanyageinvolvescompromiseandobligation,factorsthatcanbedetrimentaltosomeaspectsofwell-being.Allchildren,evenadultchildren,requireaccommodationandcreatestress.Briefvisits,however,canworkbeneficially.Fiveyearsago,EllenRancilioreturnedtotheDetroitareatolivewithherfatherafterhermarriagebrokeup.Sheonlystayedsevenmonths,butitmadeusmuchcloser,shesays.Indeed,theexperiencewassopositivethatshewouldnothesitatetoputoutthewelcomematwhenherownthreesonsaregrown.Declaresshe:IftheyneededhelplikeIdid,yes.32HereCometheDINKsDouble-income,no-kidscouplesarethelatestsubsetThemembersofthisnewlydefinedspeciescanbestbespottedafter9p.m.ingourmetgroceries,theirBurberry-clothedarmsreachingforthearugulaoraLeMenufrozenflound