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研究生公共英语Ａ---unit5BringingupChildrenItisgenerallyacceptedthattheexperiencesofthechildinhisfirstyearslargelydeterminehischaracterandlaterpersonality.Everyexperienceteachesthechildsomethingandtheeffectsarecumulative.“Upbringing”isnormallyusedtorefertothetreatmentandtrainingofthechildwithinthehome.Thisiscloselyrelatedtothetreatmentandtrainingofthechildinschool,whichisusuallydistinguishedbytheterm“education”.Inasocietysuchasours,bothparentsandteachersareresponsiblefortheopportunitiesprovidedforthedevelopmentofthechild,sothatupbringingandeducationareinterdependent.Theidealsandpracticesofchildrearingvaryfromculturetoculture.Ingeneral,themoreruralthecommunity,themoreuniformarethecustomsofchildupbringing.Inmoretechnologicallydevelopedsocieties,theperiodchildhoodandadolescencetendstobeextendedoveralongtime,resultinginmoreopportunityforeducationandgreatervarietyincharacterdevelopment.Earlyupbringinginthehomeisnaturallyaffectedbothbytheculturalpatternofthecommunityandbytheparents’capabilitiesandtheiraimsanddependsnotonlyonupbringingandeducationbutalsoontheinnateabilitiesofthechild.Wilddifferencesofinnateintelligenceandtemperamentexisteveninchildrenofthesamefamily.Parentscanascertainwhatisnormalinphysical,mentalandsocialdevelopment,byreferringtosomeofthemanybooksbasedonscientificknowledgeintheseareas,orlessreliably,sincethesampleissmaller,bycomparingnoteswithfriendsandrelativeswhohavechildren.Intelligentparents,however,realizethattheparticularsettingofeachfamilyisunique,andtherecanbenorigidgeneralrules.Theyusegeneralinformationonlyasaguideinmakingdecisionsandsolvingproblems.Forexample,theywillneedspecificsuggestionsforproblemssuchasspeechdefectsorbackwardnessinlearningtowalkorcontrolofbodilyfunctions.Inthemoregeneralsense,though,problemsofupbringingarerecognizedtobeproblemsofrelationshipswithintheindividualfamily,thefirstnecessitybeingasecure研究生公共英语Ａ---unit5emotionalbackgroundwithparentswhoareunitedintheirattitudetotheirchildren.Allparentshavetosolvetheproblemsoffreedomanddiscipline.Theyoungerthechild,themorereadilythemothergiveintohisdemandstoavoiddisappointinghim.Sheknowsthatifhisenergiesarenotgivenanoutlet,herchild’scontinuingdevelopmentmaybewarped.Anexampleofthisistheyoungchild’sneedtoplaywiththemudandsandandwater.Achildmustbeallowedtoenjoythis“messy”buttactilestageofdiscoverybeforeheisreadytogoontothelessphysicalpleasuresoftoysandbooks.Similarly,throughoutlife,eachstagedependsonthesatisfactorycompletionoftheonebefore.Whereonestageofchilddevelopmenthasbeenleftout,ornotsufficientlyexperienced,thechildmayhavetogobackandcapturetheexperienceofit.Agoodhomemakesthispossible-forexamplebyprovidingtheopportunityforthechildtoplaywithaclockworkcarortoyrailwaytrainuptoanyageifhestillneedstodoso.Thisprinciple,infact,underliesallpsychologicaltreatmentofchildrenindifficultieswiththeirdevelopment,andisthebasisofworkinchildclinics.Thebeginningsofdisciplineareinthenursery.Eventheyoungestbabyistaughtbygradualstagestowaitforfood,tosleepandtowakeatregularintervalsandsoon.Ifthechildfeelstheworldaroundhimisawarmandfriendlyone,heslowlyacceptsitsrhythmandaccustomshimselftoconformingtoitsdemands.Learningtowaitforthings,particularlyforfood,isaveryimportantelementinupbringing,andisachievedsuccessfullyonlyiftoogreatdemandsarenotmadebeforethechildcanunderstandthem.Everyparentwatcheseagerlythechild’sacquisitionofeachnewskill-thefirstspokenwords,thefirstindependentsteps,orthebeginningofreadingandwriting.Itisoftentemptingtohurrythechildbeyondhisnaturallearningrate,butthiscansetupdangerousfeelingsoffailureandstatesofanxietyinthechild.Thismighthappenatanystage.Ababymightbeforcedtousatoilettooearly,ayoungchildmightbeencouragedtolearntoreadbeforeheknowsthemeaningofthewordshereads.Ontheotherhand,though,ifachildisleft研究生公共英语Ａ---unit5alonetoomuch,orwithoutanylearningopportunities,heloseshisnaturalzestforlifeandhisdesiretofindoutnewthingsforhimself.Learningtogetherisafruitfulsourceofrelationshipbetweenchildrenandparents.Byplayingtogether,parentslearnmoreabouttheirchildrenandchildrenlearnmorefromtheirparents.Toysandgameswhichbothparentsandchildrencanshareareanimportantmeansofachievingthiscooperation.Buildingblocktoysandjigsawpuzzlesandcrosswordsaregoodexamples.Parentsvarygreatlyintheirdegreeofstrictnessandindulgencetowardstheirchildren.Somemaybeespeciallystrictinmoneymatters;othersaresevereovertimesofcominghomeatnight,punctualityformealsorpersonalcleanliness.Ingeneral,thecontrolsimposedrepresenttheneedsoftheparentsandthevaluesofthecommunityasmuchasthechild’sownhappinessandwell-being.Asregardsthedevelopmentofmoralstandardsinthegrowingchild,consistencyisveryimportantinparentalteaching.Toforbidathingonedayandexcuseitthenextisnofoundationformorality.Also,parentsshouldrealizethat“exampleisbetterthanprecept”.Iftheyarehypocriticalanddonotpracticewhattheypreach,theirchildrenmaygrowconfusedandemotionallyinsecurewhentheygrowoldenoughtothinkforthemselves,andrealizetheyhavebeentosomeextentdeceived.Asuddenawarenessofamarkeddifferencebetweentheirparentsethicsandtheirmoral