李开复写给女儿的信Letterto+Daughter

LettertoDaughterOct.9,2009DearDaughter,AswedroveofffromColumbia,Idecidedtowriteyoualettertotellyouallthatisonmymind.First,Iwanttotellyouhowproudweare.AdmissiontoColumbiaisarealtestamenttoyouracademic,artisticandsocialabilities.WhetheritwasgettingthehighestgradeinCalculus,completingyourelegantfashiondesign,successfullysellingyourpaintedrunningshoes,orbecomingoneofthetoporatorsintheModelUnitedNations,youhavebecomeatalentedandaccomplishedyoungwoman.Youshouldbeasproudofyourselfasweare.IwillalwaysrememberthefirsttimeIheldyouinmyarms.Ifeltatinglingsensationinmyheartthatmusthavebeenour“father-daughterconnection”whichwillbindusforlife.IremembersingingyoualullabywhileIrockedyoutosleep.Youhavebeenawonderfuldaughtereversinceyouwereborn,alwaysquiet,empathetic,attentive,andwell-mannered.Iremembermydaughterofthreefollowingusaroundeveryweekendtogetbuildingsupplies.Youputupwiththatboringperiodwithoutafuss,happilyeatinghamburgersinthecarandsingingwithBarneyuntilyoufellasleep.YouevenwenttoSundayChineseschoolandstudiedhardeventhoughitwasnofunforyou.Icannotbelievehowluckyweareasparentstohaveadaughterlikeyou.Youhavebeenanexcellenteldersister.Sometimesthetwoofyouargued,butinthelastfewyearsyouhavebecomebestfriends.Yoursisteradoresyouandlooksuptoyouasherrolemodel.Asyousawwhenwedeparted,shewillmissyousomuch.Thereisnothinglikefamily,andotherthanyourparents,yoursisteristheonepersonwhoyoucanalwaysconfidein.Thereisnothingwewishmorethanthatyoursisterhoodwillcontinuetobondasyougrowolder,andthatyouwillcareforeachotherthroughoutyourlives.Whileyouareatcollege,dohaveashortvideochatwithheroremailhereveryfewdays.Collegewillbethemostimportantyearsinyourlife.Youoftenquestion“whatgoodisthiscourse”.Whileyoushouldremaininquisitive,alwaysrememberthat“educationiswhatyouhaveleftafterallthatistaughtisforgotten”.Incollegeyouwillmovefrombeingteacher-taughttomaster-inspired,afterwhichyoumustbecomeaself-directedlearner.Pleasetakeeachsubjectseriously,forevenifwhatyoulearnisn’tcriticalforyourlife,theskillsoflearningwillbesomethingyoucherishforever.Donotfallintothetrapofdogma.Thereisnosinglesimpleanswertoanyquestion.Rememberyourhighschooldebateclass,whenItoldyoutoarguethesidethatyoudidn’tbelievein?Ididthattoshowyouthingsarerarely“blackandwhite”,andaproblemcanalwaysbelookedatfromdifferentperspectives.Thisis“criticalthinking”,anditisthemostimportantskillyouneedinlife.Youmustalsobecometolerantandsupportiveofothers.IrememberwhenIproposedanewdissertationtopictomyPh.D.advisor.Hesaid“Idon’tfullyagreewithyou,butI’llsupportyou.”Ihavecometolearnthisisn’tjustflexibilitybutissupportiveofcriticalthinking.ThisisanempoweringstyleofleadershipthatItrytofollow.Ihopeyouwilltoo.Followyourpassionincollegeandtakecoursesyouwillenjoy.SteveJobssaidwhenyouareincollege,yourpassionwillcreatemanydots,andlaterinyourlifeyouwillconnectthem.InhisgreatcommencementspeechatStanford,Jobsspokeofhiscalligraphyclass,andhowadecadelateritbecamethebasisforthebeautifulMacintoshfonts,whichlaterigniteddesktoppublishingandbroughtfabuloustoolslikeMicrosoftWordtoourlives.Hisexpeditionintocalligraphywasadot,andtheMacintoshbecametheconnectingline.Donotworryexcessivelywhatcareeryouwillhave,anddon’tbetooutilitarian.IfyoulikeJapanese,goforit,evenifyourdadthinks“it’snotuseful.”Enjoypickingyourdots,andbeassuredonedayyouwillfindyourcalling,andconnectagorgeouscurvethroughthedots.Exertyourselfinclasses,butdon’tletpressureupsetyou.YourmotherandIhavenoexpectationsforyourgrades.Ifyougraduateandeducateyourselfinyourfouryears,wewillfeelhappy.YourColumbiadegreewilltakeyoufar,evenifyoudon’tgraduatewithhonors.Theonlythingthatmattersisthatyouhavelearnedandtheonlymetricyoushoulduseisthatyouhavetried.Gradesarejustsillylettersthatvainpeoplebragabout,andlazypeopledread.Youaretoogoodtobeeither.Mostimportantly,makefriendsandbehappy.Collegefriendswillbethebestinyourlifebecausetheyarenotonlyphysicallycloserthanyourfamilybutthebondswillbestrongasyougainindependenceandenteradulthoodtogether.Choosefriendswhoaregenuineandsinceretoyou.Don’tworryabouttheirhobbiesoreventheirpersonalities.Beself-assured,outgoingandproactive.Keepyourhighschoolfriendsandstayconnectedtothem,butdonotusethemassubstitutesforcollegefriendship.Youhavechosenwonderfulfriendsfromhighschool,sotrustyourinstincts.Givepeoplethebenefitofthedoubt;don’tstereotypeandalwaysforgive.Peopleareimperfect,soaslongastheyaregenuineandsincere,trustthemandbegoodtothem.Thisismysecretofsuccess–Iamgenuinewithpeopleandtrustthem(unlesstheydosomethingtolosemytrust).SometimesIamtakenadvantageofbydishonestpeoplebutthatlossisnothingcomparedtowhatIhavegainedfrombeingopen.Whetheritisformanagement,work,orfriendship,thisissomethingyoushouldponder.Whateverdecisionsthatconfrontyou,youmusttakecontrolofyourlife.Iusedtohelpyou,whetheritwasinextracurricularactivitiesoryourcollegeapplication.Iwillalwaysbethereforyou,butthetimehascomeforyoutobeinthedriver’sseat.IremembertheexhilaratingfeelingwhenItookrealcontrolofmylifebydecidingtoleaveacademiaforApple,andthengotoChinaandworkforGoogle.LaterIdecidedtostartmyo