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competitionInCompassionandSelfHate'Iwroteabouthowcompetitionisaformofself-hateandhowourculturehascometobelievethatcompetitionbringsoutthebestinpeople.Istillbelievethatitbringsouttheworst.Itisintimatelylinkedtoenvy,jealousy,andparanoia,andblocksevolvementanddevelopmentofself.Itultimatelyhasadepletinganddeadeningeffectonselfasitsunrelentingdemandsaremetandself-realizingneedsareignored.在《同情与自我憎恨》中，我写到了竞争是自我憎恨的一种形式，以及我们的文化是如何让我们相信竞争能激发出人们最好的一面。我仍然相信它会带来最坏的结果。它与嫉妒、嫉妒和偏执密切相关，并阻碍自我的进化和发展。它最终会对自我产生消耗和抑制的效果，因为它无情的需求被满足了，而自我实现的需求被忽视了。Incompetition,thefocusofone'slifeisessentiallyoutsideone'sself.Theuseofourtimeandenergyisdeterminedbyourcompetitorsratherthanbyourownselvesandourownrealneeds.Thisweakensourownsenseofidentity,andtocompensateforthisever-increasingfeelingofemptinessandvulnerabilitywecompetestillmore,completingaself-depletingcycle.Whenenoughdepletiontakesplacetoprecludefurthersuccessfulcompetition,wefeelhopelessandfutileandourlivesseempurposeless.在竞争中，一个人的生活重心基本上在自我之外。我们的时间和精力的使用是由我们的竞争对手决定的，而不是由我们自己和我们自己的真正需要决定的。这削弱了我们自己的认同感，为了弥补这种不断增长的空虚感和脆弱感，我们会更多地竞争，完成一个自我消耗的循环。当足够的消耗发生，阻止进一步的“成功”竞争，我们感到绝望和无用，我们的生活似乎没有目的了。Despitetalkingaboutgoodsportsmanship,competitionistotallyincompatiblewiththekindofeasyalivenessthatistheaimofthisbook.Itflourishesinanatmosphereofhighstimulationandvindictivetriumph.Itsrewardsandgoalsareimmediateandshort-lived,andself-glorificationguaranteesvirtualexclusionofself-realization.Itdestroysourinnersenseofautonomyandstabilityandisalsodestructivetooutsiderelationshipsandtorealcommunication.Competitivefrictionisinimicaltokindness,andwithoutkindnessaself-enrichingphilosophyisimpossible.Despiteprotestationsandreassurancesaboutfriendlycompetition,antagonistsarenotfriendly.Thefeelinggoodthatcompetitorssaycomesfromcompetitionisbasedonsomeoneelse'sfeelingbad.Andthisfeelinggooddoesn'tlastbecauseitisbaseduponputtingthenextfellowdownratherthanonasustainedstrengtheningofyourself---throughself-realization.Socompetitionbecomesaddictive.尽管谈到了良好的体育精神，但竞争与这种精神是完全不相容的，这就是这本书的目的。它在高度刺激和报复性的胜利气氛中蓬勃发展。它的回报和目标是立刻并且短暂的，自我荣耀确保了对自我实现的实质排斥。它破坏了我们内心的自主性和稳定性，也破坏了外部关系和真正的交流。竞争性的摩擦对善意是有害的，没有善意，自我充实的哲学是不可能的。尽管一再宣称和保证“友好竞争”，但对手并不友好。竞争者说对于竞争“感觉良好”是建立在别人感觉不好上。这种“感觉良好”不会持续太久，因为它是建立在贬低别人的基础上的，而不是建立在你自己的不断加强上的---通过自我实现。所以竞争让人上瘾。Competitionisaresidualofaprimitivepast,anditisnotageneticresidual.Itispassedontousthroughtraininginoursocietyfromgenerationtogeneration.Thistrainingstartsearlyandcanusuallybeseenveryearlysiblingrivalry.Idonotbelievethatrivalryamongchildrenofthesamefamilyisinstinctual.Ibelievethatitisengenderedbyparentswhothemselveswerevictimsofvictims':theymayconveythecompetitivemotifblatantlyorsosubtlythatitisnotreadilyperceived.Theythemselvesarecaughtinthesametrap-theyspendenormoustimeandenergygettingaheadoftheJoneses.竞争是原始历史的残余，而不是遗传的残余。它通过我们社会中的训练代代相传。这种训练很早就开始了，经常很早就可以看到兄弟姐妹之间的竞争。我不认为同一家庭的孩子之间的竞争是他们的本能。我相信这是由那些自己也是受害者的父母们所引起的:他们可能会公然地或如此微妙地传达竞争的主题，并且这点不容易被察觉。他们自己也被困在同样的陷阱里——他们花费大量的时间和精力超越和他们地位差不多的人。SmallwondersomanychildrenarepressuredintoLittleLeagueorequivalentcompetitivestructures-allwithrationalizationthatthiswillpromotetheirself-development,well-being,andhealth.Actuallytheseactivitiesandorganizationsnearlyalwaysserveasvicariousvehiclesdesignedtosatisfyparentalcravingforcompetitivesuccess.Peoplebroughtupinthiswayfeellostiftheyaresuddenlythrustintoasituationoflowcompetitivetension.Theyexisttocompeteandthey'velosttheirraisond'etre',sotheyinventhierarchiesandgamestoprovidethesimulationtheyneedtokeepthemotorrunning”,eveniftheseinventionsareultimatelydestructivetoinnerpeaceandpersonalhealth.难怪如此多的孩子被迫进入少年棒球联盟或类似的竞争性组织——所有这些都合理化，这将促进他们的自我发展，幸福和健康。实际上，这些活动和组织几乎总是作为替代工具来满足父母对竞争成功的渴望。以这种方式长大的人，如果突然被推入一个低竞争压力的环境，他们会感到失落。他们的存在是为了竞争，他们已经失去了存在的理由，所以他们发明了等级制度和游戏来模拟他们需要去“保持竞争”，即使这些发明最终会破坏内心的平静和个人的健康。IamremindedofmyownmedicalschoolexperienceinLausanne,Switzerland.IwaspartofagroupofabouteightyAmericansstudyingatthemedicalfacultyoftheuniversityatthattime.Thesystemwasnoncompetitive.Peoplewhowerequalifiedwereacceptedintotheschool.Theseconsistedofpeoplewhoreceivedpassinggradesintherequiredpremedicalorfoundationcourses.Twoseriesofexaminations-oneinthebasicsciencesoneandonehalfyearsafteradmission,andtheotherafterstudieswerecompleted-determinedqualificationforgraduation.Studentswereallowedtopostponetheseexaminationsaslongastheyfeltwasnecessary.Topass,studentswererequiredtodemonstrateadequateknowledgeofthematerial.Theatmospherewastotallybenevolentandwithoutthepresenceofanycoercionorintimidationwhatsoever.Therewasnocurve”andstudentswerenotgradedrelativetoeachother.这让我想起了自己在瑞士洛桑医学院的经历。我是当时在大学医学院学习的大约80名美国人中的一员。这个系统是非竞争性的。合格的人被学校录取了。这些人包括在医学预科或基础课程中取得及格成绩的人。两个系列的考试——一个是入学后一年半的基础科学考试，另一个是完成学业后的考试——决定了毕业的资格。学生被允许推迟考试，只要他们觉得有必要。为了通过考试，学生们被要求证明对材料有足够的认识。气氛非常友好，没有任何胁迫或恐吓。没有“曲线”，学生之间也没有相对的评分。TheSwissstudentsexhibitedgreatcamaraderieamongthemselves,helpedeachother,andforthemostpartdemonstratedgreatproficiencyingraspingandintegratingthematerial.Therewerenotrickswhatsoever,nosurprisequizzesorexams.Indeedtherewerenoexaminationsatall,otherthanthetwose