第二讲读后续写李仕才典例展示(2017·浙江6月高考)阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Onabright,warmJulyafternoon,MacHollan,aprimaryschoolteacher,wascyclingfromhishometoAlaskawithhisfriends.Oneofhisfriendshadstoppedtomakeabicyclerepair,buttheyhadencouragedMactocarryon,andtheywouldcatchupwithhimsoon.AsMacpedaled(骑行)alongalone,hethoughtfondlyofhiswifeandtwoyoungdaughtersathome.Hehopedtoshowthemthisbeautifulplacesomeday.ThenMacheardquickandloudbreathingbehindhim.“Man,that’sabigdog!”hethought.Butwhenhelookedtotheside,hesawinstantlythatitwasn’tadogatall,butawolf,quicklycatchingupwithhim.Mac’sheartjumped.Hefoundouthiscanofbearspray.Withonehandonthebars,hefiredthesprayatthewolf.Abrightredcloudenvelopedtheanimal,andtoMac’srelief,itfellback,shakingitshead.Butaminutelater,itwasbyhissideagain.ThenitattackedthebackofMac’sbike,tearingopenhistentbag.Hefiredatthewolfasecondtime,andagain,itfellbackonlytoquicklyrestartthechase(追赶).Macwaspedalinghardnow.Hewavedandyelledatpassingcarsbutwascarefulnottoslowdown.Hesawasteepuphillclimbbeforehim.Heknewthatoncehehitthehill,he’dbeeasycaughtupandthewolf’steethwouldbetearingintohisflesh.Atthismoment,PaulandBeckyweredrivingtheircarontheirwaytoAlaska.Theydidn’tthinkmuchofitwhentheysawtwocyclistsrepairingtheirbikeonthesideoftheroad.Abitlater,theyspottedwhatthey,too,assumedwasadogrunningalongsideamanonabike.Astheygotcloser,theyrealizedthatthedogwasawolf.Macheardalargevehiclebehindhim.Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.注意:1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Paragraph2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.一、审题思路导航体裁记叙文人称第三人称时态一般过去时所标出的关键词语表人物的有:Mac,Paul,friends表事物的有:home,wolf,bicycle,cars表动作的有:jumped,pedaled,climb前文大意Mac与好友一起骑行去阿拉斯加,路上同伴因修自行车落后,Mac独自一人前行,遇到狼的突袭,于是他拼命逃,却得不到援助。这时,一辆车停在了他前面……二、抓住段首句设问续写段首1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.设问:Whydiditstop?HowdidMacfeel?WhatwouldMac/Pauldo?...续写段首2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.设问:Aftertheyarrived,whatdidtheysee?Howdidtheyfeel?Whatwouldtheydo?...三、谋篇(1)续写材料第一段所给的首句是Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.,在行文过程中应抓住关键词语thecarstopped,再发挥丰富的想象,把Paul停车后如何在千钧一发之际拯救Mac的过程写得趣味横生又合乎情理。(2)第二段所给的首句是Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.,起承上启下的作用。朋友到达之后看到、听到并做了什么。最后应该提炼思想性和体现价值观的传递正能量的元素(如珍爱生命,学会合作或感激等),以提升文章的档次。(3)在续写时,除了注意原文给出的关键词语,还需要注意以下线索:WhydidthewolfchaseMac?WhatdidPaulseewhendrivingthecaronthewaytoAlaska?Hepulledinfrontofitasthewolfwascatchingupfast,justadozenyardsawaynow.Whydidhestopthecar?(4)在确定了思路和内容之后,续写时,要注意句子结构的多样性,语言的丰富性,并通过句与句之间连接词的正确使用,使上下文连贯。【参考范文】Paragraph1:Thecarabruptlystoppedinfrontofhim.Paulrolleddownthewindowandyelled,“Man,getinthecar!”Withoutanyhesitation,Macjumpedoffthebicycleanddashedintothebackseatofthecar.Atthesametime,thewolfcaughtup.Luckily,thecar’sdoorwasfirmenoughtostopthewolf.However,theycouldn’tjuststaythere.Becausethewolfwasundertheprotectionofthelaw,theycouldn’tkillit.SoPaulpressedthebuttonofthehorntomakeanalert.Finally,thewolfleftanddisappeared.Paragraph2:Afewminuteslater,theothertwocyclistsarrived.TheywereshockedtoseethatMac’stentbagwasinpoorcondition.Andtheywereevenmoreshockedtohearthathemetawolf.Afterashortrest,Macwasmuchbetter.SotheythankedPaulandBeekyanddecidedtocontinuepedalingtoAlaska.Timeflew;thesunwashidingitslastgoldlikeamiser.Thoughtired,Macthoughtofhiswifeandlovelychildrenagain.Hehadsuchahorriblebutexcitingexperiencetoshare!一、续写策略1.读后续写不是随心所欲地写,而是要在所给段落开头和所标示关键词的帮助下完成续写部分(150词左右)。其中,段落开头语与传统写作中的开头语类似,在某种程度上引导你的思路向哪方面发展,所续写部分不能脱离各自的段落开头语另起炉灶,要在其基础上进行拓展发挥。2.续写所给语言材料多是记叙文之故事类文章,情节曲折跌宕,线索性和逻辑性较强。考生要抓住故事的叙事线索,依据原文的写作思路续写文章,并适当发散。技法指导3.读后续写要求读写并重,需要考生对给定材料精确理解,这样所续写部分才不至于偏离主题,就这方面而言,读后续写有点类似阅读理解题中对文章后续发展的推断,如:Whatwouldhappennext?4.续写部分的思路和内容并不一定是唯一的,考生可根据自己对上文材料的理解,对文章的结尾做出不同的诠释。二、续写步骤1.精读文章,确定文章线索。每篇文章都有各自独特的写作思路。通过精读文章,找到该篇文章的写作线索,如是以时间为线索还是以空间为线索等,这样有利于考生“顺藤摸瓜(结尾)”。2.仔细审题,明确续写要求。3.回扣原文,揣摩续写思路。根据文章后面的要求,再次快速回读短文,抓住文章的思路,结合续写段段首的提示语,最终确定续写段落的思路,同时结合文章中标有下划线的关键词语,确定续写段落的内容。4.拟定草稿,修改错词病句。5.标出续写部分中使用到的原材料中标有下划线的关键词语(5个以上)。三、续写方法1.精读所给语言材料,理清文章脉络并明确作者的论点,确定文章主旨。2.寻求前文与续写段段首句之间的内在联系,站在作者的角度,设计并发展情节,想象要合理,情节要连贯。3.后续情节一般为故事的高潮或延续,是原作者声音的延续、态度的延伸,因此,要尽量符合原文思路,并求得与读者的心理共鸣,让读者回味无穷。4.续写时心态要端正,所续写内容要积极、健康向上,把事物美好的一面展示出来。5.利用自己已有的知识和经验,在继承原作者风格和语言基础之上,准确、地道地表达,充分展示语言的表现力。提高关联词与过渡语的使用率,增强整句表现力。6.如果所给短文为议论文,那么议论文中的段落首句多为主题句,观点鲜明。续写时,要围绕段落分论点确定论证方法,如正反对比、例证等。四、注意事项1.词数要求:词数少于130的,从总分中减去2分。2.与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度。3.内容的丰富性和对所标出关键词语的应用。4.应用语言结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性。5.上下文的连贯性。实战演练阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。❶WhenIwaselevenyearsold,Ihadabigaccident.IgetscaredevennowwhenIthinkaboutthattime.Iwentskatingnearmyhouse.Thereweremanypeople,andIsawsomeofthemfallingontheice.Itwasmyfirsttimetogoiceskating,soIwasnervous.Iwaswonderinghowtoskate.Iwentwithafriendwhowasveryskillful.Hespentsometimeteachingmehowtoskate,butIdidn’tlearnmuch.Heleftmeandskatedallaround.Assoonasheleft,Ifelldown.Ienviedtheotherpeoplebecausetheycouldskatewell.IwasboredbecauseIkeptfallingsoItookoffmyskatesandjustwalkedaroundontheiceinmyshoes.Itwascoldandmyhandswere