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电子情书You'veGotMail中英文剧本Amazing.Thisisamazing!这真是太夸张了你听听看Listentothis:TheentireworkforceofVirginiahadsolitaireremovedfromtheircomputers...他们将要把整个维吉尼亚州政府电脑里的接龙洗掉因为这些公务员已经六个礼拜没有在工作...becausetheyhadn'tdoneanyworkinsixweeks.That'ssosad.这真是悲哀你知不知道这代表什么意思不知道Doyouknowwhatthisis?这表示西方文明已经完了你是不是快迟到了TheendofWesterncivilizationasweknowit.Aren'tyoulate?请你说出科技带给我们什么好处Namemeonethingthatwe'vegainedfromtechnology.一个就好电力Electricity.好吧，人们以为机器是益友但是谁知道呢That'sone.Youthinkthismachine'syourfriend,butit'snot.-I'moutofhere.-Seeyoutonight!我走了今晚吃什么Sushi!寿司寿司再见Bye!(请选择你的名字)(老板娘)欢迎Welcome.你有新邮件You'vegotmail.(新邮件)(名字一纽约152)(主旨)(布克林)布克林是我的狗他和我一样都喜欢纽约的街道Brinkleyismydog.WebothloveNewYorkstreets.Althoughhelikestoeatpizzaoffthesidewalk...可是他会去人行道捡而我宁愿去买...andIprefertobuyit.BrinkleyisagreatcatcherwhowasofferedatryoutontheMets.布克林很会接棒球纽约网队曾经请他去面试Buthechosetostaywithmesohecouldspend18hoursaday...但是他宁愿和我在一起这样他就可以一天18个小时都躺在大绿枕头上...sleepingonalargepillowthesizeofaninnertube.Don'tyouloveNewYorkinthefall?你喜不喜欢纽约的秋天这让我有冲动去买学校用品Makesmewanttobuyschoolsupplies.甜心干嘛I'malmostready.我快准备好了Iwouldsendyouabouquetofnewlysharpenedpencils...如果我知道你的名字和住址打开了没那我就可以寄给你一盒新削好的铅笔...ifIknewyournameandaddress.我今天要双倍浓缩咖啡但是换个角度想不知道可以制造神秘感Ontheotherhand,thisnotknowinghasitscharms.你有没有按下去有，我按下去了Didyoupushit?Yes,Ipushedit.I'msolate.我已经迟到了蓝登出版社开除了狄克艾金斯这是个好消息RandomHousefiredDickAtkins.Goodriddance!摩利查尔顿死了又走了一个我讨厌的人MurrayChiltondied.That'sonelesspersonl'mnotspeakingto.快点…Hurry!Hurry!Hurry!文斯的作品受到好评他会忙死Vincegotagreatreview.He'llbeinsufferable.今晚要参加纽约诗人协会晚宴Tonight,PENdinner.AmIgoing?Youpromised!这个太正式了能不能捐钱了事It'sblack-tie.Can'tIjustgivemoneyinstead?Whatisitthisweek?FreeAlbanianwriters?这个礼拜又要募捐什么让阿尔巴尼亚有艺术创造自由吗I'minfavorofthat.这我很赞成我去…你已经迟到了我知道…Okay,I'llgo.You'relate.Iknow,Iknow.早安，爱汀小姐你最快乐了…Who'sahappydog?欢迎欢迎Welcome.(你有新邮件)你有新邮件You'vegotmail.Allright.Okay.Getdown,getdown.下去…(收信者：纽约152)(寄信者：老板娘)(主旨一亲爱的朋友)亲爱的朋友，我喜欢一开始假装我们已经谈到一半Dearfriend:Iliketostartmynotestoyou......asifwe'realreadyinthemiddleofaconversation.我喜欢假装我们是老朋友了虽然事实不然Ipretendthatwe'retheoldestanddearestfriends......asopposedtowhatweactuallyare:我们连对方的名字都不知道Peoplewhodon'tknoweachother'snames...早，先生早，查理我们会客室见，说第一次来...andmetinachatroomwherewebothclaimedwe'dneverbeenbefore.我在想纽约152今天会说什么WhatwillNY152saytoday?Iwonder.我打开电脑很不耐烦的等上线Iturnonmycomputer.Iwaitimpatientlyasitconnects.上线后，我摒住呼吸Igoonline......andmybreathcatchesinmychestuntilIhearthreelittlewords:You'vegotmail.Ihearnothing,notevenasoundonthestreetsofNewYork.我听不到纽约街头的声音我只听到我的心跳声Justthebeatofmyownheart.Ihavemail...我收到你的来信...fromyou.配电承包商说昨晚他撞到一只鹿Theelectricalcontractorhitadeerlastnight.所以他明天才能来Sohewon'tbeheretilltomorrow.楼上的架子现在不能装因为我们订的松木被虫蛀了Andupstairs,theshelvesarelate......becausethepineweorderedhasbeetles.Verygood.非常好…Andwegota$50,000ticketforworkerspeeingofftheroof.我们还收到一张五万块钱的罚单因为工人在屋顶上尿尿太棒了…配电工今天来不来Thatisgreat.Istheelectricianhere?Ijusttoldyouhehitadeer.Iknewyouweren'tlisteningtome.你说的对当然You'reright.Iwasn't.我是没在听“我听不到纽约街头的声音我只听到我的心跳声”lhearnothing.Notasoundonthecitystreets,justthebeatofmyownheart.Ithinkthat'showitgoes.Somethinglikethat.差不多是这个意思YouandPatriciagotengaged,didn'tyou?Youcantellme.你和派崔莎已经订婚了不是吗，你可以跟我说实话Engaged?订婚说吧你疯了吗我以为你喜欢派崔莎Areyoucrazy?IthoughtyoulikedPatricia.是没错…我爱死派崔莎了Ido.IlovePatricia.她真厉害，她精力充沛连咖啡都怕她Patricia'samazing.Shemakescoffeenervous.你知道吗，我们应该先和邻居打好关系Weshouldannounceourselvestotheneighborhood:Herewecome.让他们知道我们即将开幕ThisistheUpperWestSide.我不知道，这里是西区干脆告诉他们，我们在贩毒他们会恨死我们Wemightaswelltellthemwe'reopeningacrackhouse.They'regoingtohateus.They'llbelininguptopicketthebigbadchainstore...一旦他们听到消息他们会排队…会群起抗议会群起抗议...that'souttodestroy--没错，就是这样这是他们的生活方式Everythingtheyholddear.We'regoingtoseducethemwithoursquarefootage...你知道吗，我们要诱惑他们我们用大量的产品，折扣舒服的沙发以及…...andourdiscountsandourdeeparmchairs......andourcappuccino.我们的卡布奇诺我们的卡布奇诺They'regoingtohateusatthebeginning...没错，他们一开始会讨厌我们但是…...butwe'llgetthemintheend.我们终究会获胜我们终究会获胜你知道原因吗不知道Andyouknowwhy?Why?因为我们卖的书很便宜而且又卖廉价兴奋剂Becausewe'llsellcheapbooksandlegaladdictivestimulants.从现在开始我们要放个招牌Inthemeantime,we'lljustputupabigsign:“即将开幕，福克斯超级书局文明的灭亡”ComingSoon,aFoxBooksSuperstore.TheEndofCivilization......AsYouKnowIt!早安，克莉丝汀娜早安，凯萨琳Goodmorning,Christina.Morning,Kathleen.今天天气真棒你说是不是很棒Isn'titjustthemostbeautifulday?Iguess.Yeah,sure.我想是吧你会不会开车你才会不会开车，我是绿灯-ldiot,whatareyoudoing?-Igotthegreenlight!Don'tyouloveNewYorkinthefall?纽约的秋天真是迷人Perfect.这闻起来真不错你在闻胶带，你到底怎么了Can'tbeatthat.Scotchtape?Whatisgoingonwithyou?没事你一定谈恋爱了Nothing.-You'reinlove.-lnlove?No.没这回事，等一下，你说的对Yes,that'sright!I'minlovewithFrank.我爱上了法兰克我还和法兰克同居I'mpracticallylivingwithFrank.你能不能在这个礼拜完成圣诞节邮购目录CouldyougetourChristmasmailersoutthisweek?ByMonday,Ipromise.IhavethispaperdueFriday.好…我答应你礼拜一完成因为我礼拜五要交份报告到底发生了什么好事没什么…Whatisgoingon?Nothingatall.Youknow,Iamjustgoingtostandhereuntilyoutellme.我会一直站在这里直到你说实话网友算不算朋友你们有做爱吗Allright.Isitinfidelityifyou'reinvolvedwithsomeoneone-mail?Haveyouhadsex?当然没有，我们根本没见过面我是说网路性爱No,Idon'tevenknowhim.Imeancybersex.没有Don'tdoit.Theminuteyoudo,theyloseallrespectforyou.绝对不要有网路性爱一旦做了，他们就会失去兴趣It'snotlikethat.Wejuste-mail.It'sreallynothing.Ontopofwhich,I'mthinkingo