搜索
*IITwasPaul'safternoontoappearbeforethefacultyofthePittsburgHighSchooltoaccountforhisvariousmisdemeanors.Hehadbeensuspendedaweekago,andhisfatherhadcalledattheprincipal'sofficeandconfessedhisperplexityabouthisson.Paulenteredthefacultyroom,suaveandsmiling.Hisclotheswereatrifleoutgrown,andthetanvelvetonthecollarofhisopenovercoatwasfrayedandworn;but,forallthat,therewassomethingofthedandyabouthim,andheworeanopalpininhisneatlyknottedblackfour-in-hand,andaredcarnationinhisbuttonhole.Thislatteradornmentthefacultysomehowfeltwasnotproperlysignificantofthecontritespiritbefittingaboyunderthebanofsuspension.Paulwastallforhisageandverythin,withhigh,crampedshouldersandanarrowchest.Hiseyeswereremarkableforacertainhystericalbrilliancy,andhecontinuallyusedtheminaconscious,theatricalsortofway,peculiarlyoffensiveinaboy.Thepupilswereabnormallylarge,asthoughhewereaddictedtobelladonna,buttherewasaglassyglitteraboutthemwhichthatdrugdoesnotproduce.*AuthorofTheTrollGarden,abookofshortstories,inwhichthisisincluded.Whenquestionedbytheprincipalastowhyhewasthere,Paulstated,politelyenough,thathewantedtocomebacktoschool.Thiswasalie,butPaulwasquiteaccustomedtolying—foundit,indeed,indispensibleforovercomingfriction.Histeacherswereaskedtostatetheirrespectivecharges,whichtheydidwithsucharancourandaggrievednessasevincedthatthiswasnotausualcase.Disorderandimpertinencewereamongtheoffencesnamed,yeteachofhisinstructorsfeltthatitwasscarcelypossibletoputintowordstherealcauseofthetrouble,whichlayinasortofhystericallydefiantmanneroftheboy's;inthecontemptwhichtheyallknewhefeltforthem,andwhichheseeminglymadenottheleastefforttoconceal.Once,whenhehadbeenmakingasynopsisofaparagraphattheblackboard,hisEnglishteacherhadsteppedtohissideandattemptedtoguidehishand.Paulhadstartedbackwithashudder,andthrusthishandsviolentlybehindhim.Theastonishedwomancouldscarcelyhavebeenmorehurtandembarrassedhadhestruckather.Theinsultwassoinvoluntaryanddefinitelypersonalastobeunforgettable.Inonewayandanotherhehadmadeallhisteachers,menandwomenalike,consciousofthesamefeelingofphysicalaversion.Histeachersfelt,thisafternoon,thathiswholeattitudewassymbolizedbyhisshrugandhisflippantlyredcarnationflower,andtheyfelluponhimwithoutmercy.Hestoodthroughit,smiling,hispalelipspartedoverhiswhiteteeth.(Hislipswerecontinuallytwitching,andhehadahabitofraisinghiseyebrowsthatwascontemptuousandirritatingtothelastdegree.)OlderboysthanPaulhadbrokendownandshedtearsunderthatbaptismoffire,buthissetsmiledidnotoncedeserthim,andhisonlysignofdiscomfortwasthenervoustremblingofthefingersthattoyedwiththebuttonsofhisovercoat,andanoccasionaljerkingoftheotherhandthatheldhishat.Paulwasalwayssmiling,alwaysglancingabouthim,seemingtofeelthatpeoplemightbewatchinghimandtryingtodetectsomething.Thisconsciousexpression,sinceitwasasfaraspossiblefromboyishmirthfulness,wasusuallyattributedtoinsolenceorsmartness.Astheinquisitionproceeded,oneofhisinstructorsrepeatedanimpertinentremarkoftheboy's,andtheprincipalaskedhimwhetherhethoughtthatacourteousspeechtohavemadeawoman.Paulshruggedhisshouldersslightlyandhiseyebrowstwitched.Idon'tknow,hereplied.Ididn'tmeantobepolite,orimpolite,either.Iguessit'sasortofwayIhaveofsayingthings,regardless.Theprincipal,whowasasympatheticman,askedhimwhetherhedidn'tthinkthatawayitwouldbewelltogetridof.Paulgrinnedandsaidheguessedso.Whenhewastoldthathecouldgo,hebowedgracefullyandwentout.Hisbowwasbutarepetitionofthescandalousredcarnation.Histeacherswereindespair,andhisdrawing-mastervoicedthefeelingofthemallwhenhedeclaredtherewassomethingabouttheboywhichnoneofthemunderstood.Headded:Idon'treallybelievethatsmileofhiscomesaltogetherfrominsolence;there'ssomethingsortofhauntedaboutit.Theboyisnotstrong,foronething.IhappentoknowthathewasborninColorado,onlyafewmonthsbeforehismotherdiedoutthereofalongillness.Thereissomethingwrongaboutthefellow.Thedrawing-masterhadcometorealizethat,inlookingatPaul,onesawonlyhiswhiteteethandtheforcedanimationofhiseyes.Onewarmafternoontheboyhadgonetosleepathisdrawing-board,andhismasterhadnotedwithamazementwhatawhite,blue-veinedfaceitwas;drawnandwrinkledlikeanoldman'sabouttheeyes,thelipstwitchingeveninhissleep,andstiffwithanervoustensionthatdrewthembackfromhisteeth.AsforPaul,herandownthehillwhistlingthesoldiers'chorusfromFaust,lookingwildlybehindhim,nowandthen,toseewhethersomeofhisteacherswerenottheretowritheunderhislight-heartedness.Asitwasnowlateintheafternoon,andPaulwasondutythateveningasusherinCarnegieHall,hedecidedthathewouldnotgohometosupper,butwouldhangaboutanOaklandtobacconist'sshopuntilitwastimetogototheconcerthall.WhenPaulreachedtheushers'dressing-roomatabouthalf-pastseventhatevening,halfadozenboysweretherealready,andPaulbegan,excitedly,totumbleintohisuniform.Itwasoneofthefewthatatallapproachedfitting,andhethoughtitverybecoming,thoughheknewthatthetight,straightcoataccentuatedhisnarrowchest,aboutwhichhewasexceedinglysensitive.Hewasalwaysconsiderablyexcitedwhilehedressed,twangingallovertothetuningofthe